Thoughts on heart centered consciousness

[Water]

I've been listening to a lot of Matt khan lately and I truly love his teachings. I can see how powerful these methods can be for growth but I'm a bit confused. He speaks about taking the high road and how every negative situation with people is another chance for you to face/integrate yourself. 

My question is how do you balance this? Where is the line drawn between I need this to learn a lesson VS I'm enabling this person to step on me? 

[mandyjw]

It's more about how you contemplate and "see" the event, rather than the action you take. For example if someone crosses a line and is using you, you take appropriate action to protect yourself and prevent it from happening again. But instead of blaming them for the event and being reactive you contemplate how you might have attracted the event and how the event may have served to show you something about yourself. It's less about the action you take and what happens and more about being present enough to witness how you feel about it, and how you can take responsibility for it. Blaming and going into stories of self and other is our avoidance of witnessing how we really feel and misses the opportunity to see how we are creating or attracting all the interactions we have. We can however remove ourselves from situations or speak up for ourselves just because it's the appropriate action to take, and we can do it without blaming or suffering ourselves.

 

 

 

[Water]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

 We can however remove ourselves from situations or speak up for ourselves just because it's the appropriate action to take, and we can do it without blaming or suffering ourselves. 

I totally agree with you, but aren't we given these situation because there's a lesson to be learned?

How about situations where the lesson in the situation and the percpective of the outcome do not coincide? I may be wrong but I fee like it's more common than the other way around. 

[Barna]

On 11/11/2019 at 0:52 AM, Water said:

My question is how do you balance this? Where is the line drawn between I need this to learn a lesson VS I'm enabling this person to step on me? 

The balance is love. You have to love yourself as much as you love the other person. 

And don't try to "teach yourself", life will do it for you, you just have to pay attention to the lessons. 

The perspective of "being stepped on" is relative to the social conditioning that you have. Society might say that you let someone to step on you but actually you're just acting out of unconditional love. 

One thing to be very careful about though... You can give everything to a person, but never waste time on them. Wasting time is the most harmful thing for your development and usually nobody is benefiting from it. 

I hope I answered your question, otherwise I can elaborate on it in more detail

[Water]

15 hours ago, Barna said:

The balance is love. You have to love yourself as much as you love the other person. 

I feel you, it can definitely be tuff sometimes but I'm working on it?

 

On 11/10/2019 at 10:23 PM, Water said:

I totally agree with you, but aren't we given these situation because there's a lesson to be learned?

How about situations where the lesson in the situation and the percpective of the outcome do not coincide? I may be wrong but I fee like it's more common than the other way around. 

What do you think about this? I'll give an example incase I worded it incorrectly. Let's say someone is being an asshole towards you. A) You confront them and try to figure out what the lesson is or B) you let it go and show them some love. 

Am I missing something? 

[Nahm]

Maybe the lesson is about enabling.

[Forestluv]

On 11/10/2019 at 6:52 PM, Water said:

He speaks about taking the high road and how every negative situation with people is another chance for you to face/integrate yourself. 

My question is how do you balance this? Where is the line drawn between I need this to learn a lesson VS I'm enabling this person to step on me? 

That’s where intuition and wisdom comes in. You seem to be creating scenarios in which you must choose between “learning a lesson” vs “enabling a person to step on me”. Quite often, the lesson to be learned is how to lovingly NOT enable someone to step on you. For example, imagine going on a few dates with someone who is hyper-critical of you. She is often mean-spirited.We could create a lesson of “how to accept hyper-critical mean-spirited criticism”. Or we can create a lesson of “how to communicate with someone about an unhealthy dynamic in a way the allows mutual growth”. Lets go with this one. . . We open up and reach out to our date in an effort to resolve the issue and grow. . . She responds that you can take your New Age woo woo nonsense and shove it up your beta male ass. . . At this point the lesson could be “how do I best face my beta maleness and develop into an alpha male to please her?”. . . Or perhaps the lesson is to learn that she has some relationship issues that she is not willing to work on and I don’t need to participate in this in healthy dynamic. I can genuinely wish her the best in life and walk away. 

Sometimes the lesson may be about how to best engage in an unhealthy scenario. Sometimes the lesson is how to best dis-engage from an unhealthy scenario. We are creating our own lessons as we go. It’s not like a space kangaroo is trying to send us lessons and we need to decode what those lessons are. 

[Water]

On 11/12/2019 at 10:56 PM, Serotoninluv said:

 

 

 

 

 

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On 11/12/2019 at 10:56 PM, Serotoninluv said:

We open up and reach out to our date in an effort to resolve the issue and grow. . . She responds that you can take your New Age woo woo nonsense and shove it up your beta male ass. . .  

HAHAHA I wish a girl would react that way with me, the events that transpire would be interesting to say the least.

 

On 11/12/2019 at 10:56 PM, Serotoninluv said:

 

 

 

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On 11/12/2019 at 10:56 PM, Serotoninluv said:

Or perhaps the lesson is to learn that she has some relationship issues that she is not willing to work on and I don’t need to participate in this in healthy dynamic. I can genuinely wish her the best in life and walk away. 

Sometimes the lesson may be about how to best engage in an unhealthy scenario. Sometimes the lesson is how to best dis-engage from an unhealthy scenario. We are creating our own lessons as we go. It’s not like a space kangaroo is trying to send us lessons and we need to decode what those lessons are. 

I see what you're saying, and I think your right. There has been a recurring issue in my life where I empathetically feel for people and think I can solve their problems/help change them. It may be naive but I really just want to help people. I have done so in the past on many occasions, but usually at my expense. I take it because I think it's for the greater good and ultimately it's not about me, but it adds up depending on where I'm at in life. I'm going to try harder to balance this and to consciously remember its not my responsibility to help everyone because not everyone is ready. Thank you 

Edited November 14, 2019 by Water

[Matt8800]

On 11/10/2019 at 3:52 PM, Water said:

I've been listening to a lot of Matt khan lately and I truly love his teachings. I can see how powerful these methods can be for growth but I'm a bit confused. He speaks about taking the high road and how every negative situation with people is another chance for you to face/integrate yourself. 

My question is how do you balance this? Where is the line drawn between I need this to learn a lesson VS I'm enabling this person to step on me? 

@Water One must establish, and communicate, firm boundaries. If they cross them, communicate that. If they dont listen, enforce those boundaries. As far as how "harsh" you need to be, thats up to them depending on how far they want to take it but you MUST always enforce your boundaries.

You can either be loving and weak or loving and strong. Weakness will hold back your evolution. Learn what "tough love" is.

Many people think that to be spiritual, they are "supposed" to be loving. That is just an unconscious way of societal programming. In Tantra, if one is to choose to be loving, it is because they CHOOSE to be rather than they are supposed to be. Like the Gita says, its not what you do, its why you do it.

Edited November 14, 2019 by Matt8800