little insight and looking for advice on purpose in life

[Fede83]

I get to the spiritual world after a big panick attack,years of procrastination,pc gaming and a lot of bad behavior..without getting connected to the society at all..than the awakening happened,was like a meteor hit myself from the inside,and than booom all world changed or better all my vision related to world enormously shifted to a new level of consciousness much deeper,in the first month was incredibly blissfull..I was so connected to the universe feeeling oneness that I doubt if I was still living in this world..immense sensation of love moving inside myself and i can clearly distingue my energy moving inside my body and in some way  control it..I attend a lot of solo walk of hours in the nature exploring the beauty of it,I started to being more solitary..to the point I losed all my friendship..I didn’t needed anything at all..all me alone was enough to be happy and blissful with my experience.

Than I started after a few months my meditation journey,with also some prana..on specific cardiac coherence which lead me more closed to the source on oneness I was feeling at that point and I still feel now,a lot of memory arises..painful and life changing experience was released from time to time and I was asking my self at some point if I should stop or not because it was so overwhelming at the point I asked myself : i’m Go crazy ???i’m still Alive or i’m Living a parallel reality ??touching the darkest deeper insight of urself is very challenging it was for me in the beginning...but also a lot of very beatiful insight of blissfull joy and incredibly happyness to discover I can live my life on my own purpose..the one I meant to be since I was born..my real path!I started meditated In various ways..visualization in the beginning helped me for create the future I want and getting closed to the law of attraction,still need to work on it better but for now I’m happy with the result I got for sure ..after a while and after I discovered actualiZed I see in a Leo video the nothingness method which lead me to a new level of consciousness and concentration immensely helpful to him to be so kind to share his fantastic work with us❤️I encounter many people on the forum and starting share experience and ask for help from time to time..everyone is so lovely connected on some sense which I can feel it ! Big thanks also to nahm..a living angel fallen in this world for making it a better place and for give clarity And depth of experience to the ones need an hand of pure love to getting over though journeys including me !❤️❤️❤️ So yes to this days I discovered that the closer I’m getting to my peace of soul and shut off my chatter mind the closer I’m realizing..I’m didn’t have discover 1% of my self and the universe..and yes at this stage I’m working very hard on myself keep going and going but basically stuck Ed in a practical way..still discovering what’s my life purpose is and also I beginning to work in wage slavery for Amazon..not the one I want but I have to survive..so yes..the feeling I have inside myself is getting closer with using the very big amount of energy I have inside me and trying to help others raise their lives and making it better ! It means life to me to help others ❤️ Love is the key love is the universe ❤️Love is all and everything ❤️ This is where I am now and this where I need some tips to discover my purpose of life and to getting a job I can live for and be happy living with it..this is the wall I encountered which is not easy to get over..any tips from this point ?

 

also thank u again pure love ❤️ to u love u ❤️

Edited November 9, 2019 by Fede83

[ajasatya]

@Fede83 You're welcome... welcome to the beginning of the amazing phase of your Life.

Kudos @Nahm!

[Fede83]

@ajasatyaye really amazing trip on myself ???

[Inliytened1]

@Fede83 awesome! You only have yourself to thank ❤?

[Fede83]

@Inliytened1Thank u ur amazing ❤️❤️

[Nahm]

@Fede83 ?? 

10 hours ago, Fede83 said:

discover my purpose of life and to getting a job I can live for and be happy living with it..this is the wall I encountered which is not easy to get over.

 

“Do not try to get over the wall. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
What truth?
There is no wall.
There is no wall?
Then you’ll see, that it is not the wall you get over, it is only yourself.”

Write, ‘I am free to create my experience’, on your board. Anything that arises to the contrary, any concerns, obstacles, problems, etc, write them on your board. Get them out of the bushes and in front of you where you can have a look at em. Some feelings will arise. That’s good, that’s where the clarity will come from. An example might be concern about income and purpose, & not knowing how to proceed with them aligned. Write that on the board. 

Then write the opposite, what you do want: I want aligned purpose & income.

Feel the difference between the two perspectives:

- How what you’re concerned about feels.

- How extrapolating what you do want, and writing that on your board - feels.

Feel that feeling, get to know that subtle intimate feeling - that shift in perspective, and how it feels. 

Call it something like “flipping“, or “flipping the coin”, so you can easily and readily draw upon that flip of perspective & the feeling of it. 

Then let go of how it will align, and write why you want it.   A Why example...“so I don’t have to worry about money, or work at this job.” 

Then write the opposite, what you do want: “to live in feeling unattached to my circumstances, carefree, loving what is, and doing what I love doing”. 

 

There is conditioning. Generally, people aren’t aware they’re creating reality. Feeling arises, and is accordingly misunderstood, and then avoided, and we’ve created a lot of ways to disregard & ‘write off’ that feeling.  But because we are creating, we have desires, preferences, wants, and that feeling which has been disregarded, the creative awesomeness feeling if you will, that feeling, sensation, that-there-is-a-source-of-it...that never changed, and never changes. 

Don’t ‘eat from the tree’, don’t label feeling good & bad, or positive & negative. It’s all good. Allow the difference between actuality, and conditioned perspectives, to shake out via feeling, or purification, just like you have been. When it, whatever circumstance “it” is, ‘doesn’t feel good’, “it” is actually a perspective which can be flipped. You’re in control of doing that or not. Putting it in front of you, and aligning in feeling, makes all the creative difference, all the ‘joy of the journey’ difference.

Now write more things you love doing, and want to experience, on the board. If you get stuck at all, let it go, knowing tomorrow, when you see it, there will have been expansion within you. When you look then, you’ll readily see a bigger, clearer picture, and it’ll feel good to see it. More insights will arise, add them to the board. The more you let go and enjoy this moment it’s all arising in, the more insight arises, and the more conditioned emotion comes out. The more conditioning that comes out, the more intuition is realized as a higher intelligence, via feeling. That connection continues to deepen, and along with everything you’ve been adding to your board...a larger, and also more nuanced vision comes into focus, which is exclusive, custom to you, now - which you created. Clarity & understanding are arising perfectly along the way.

Keep in mind, you’ve always been creating. There was no actual beginning to this, nor will it ever end or be “done”. So relax. This is “it”, whatever “it” is, this would have to be it. If there is an “it”, a Truth, a transcendent-of-all, True regardless of what anyone thinks, True regardless of any and all circumstances - if there is such an all encompassing “it” - then surely, “this”, must to, be “it”. Enjoy it. Notions of reasons to rush, hurried mentalities, they’re all unjustifiable, and feeling tells us so. Thoughts are to choose from, to create.  Like a paintbrush with paint. There’s no justifying getting attached to either, as there’s always more, and you can pick the colors you like, that feel good to you.

It seems like the clarity desired for your future, when inspiration hits as it is & there’s a strong feeling of connection, it seems like the how of it should also be filling in. The reality you’re creating, is the filling in. Instead of trying to think of the how, of the next steps - look, eyes & ears, awareness, presence, that’s it - right in front of you - it is unfolding. Sometimes ya slow down for the good of the goose, rather than only chasing the golden eggs. 

We’re all just in the middle. Expectations are our own. Why does that perspective feel good, feel like relief? Because it takes attention off of a “beginning or ending” perspective, takes the pressure off, Pulls the rug from under any ‘hurriedness’ and is a ‘return’ to now, to actuality. The big punchline is it’s all working out...wether noticed or not.

Relaxing, letting go, being present is always step one. Be where you are, this same now moment where all experience arises. Consider thinking as secondary to feeling. What you think influences can how you feel, and how you feel influences what thoughts arise to choose from, and the nature of their insight & content, and the nature of the choosing. Feeling-guidance is the rabbit hole of love & creation.

Sensational guidance, listening to how you feel before entangling in what or how you think, is most helpful. Tapping into it, some things clear out very quickly. We have joy explosions into our lives. It is wild. But sometimes it’s a ton of inspiration and great feeling, and what seems like not enough information or answers or direction on how to go about it. Feeling is paramount. Relish in it. Let if clear you out, and the understanding, and more guidance arises. 

Relaxed, really hone into this moment, the life of it, the feeling of it. Feel into the sensations, be aware of the nature of thoughts arising, of their connection with feeling. Raise the standard, don’t settle for a thought against yourself to be a ‘normal thing’. Listen to feeling, and set the bar.  

Tune into seeing what you are seeing, hearing what you are hearing. Notice any concerns are not ’here’, but appearing in thought. Write about how you feel about what comes up, which doesn’t feel good, if you feel ‘stuck’, and flip it. Life purpose will arise in this same unfolding now moment. Above & beyond any arising thoughts or purpose - enjoy this moment it’s all unfolding in. 

As you continue discovering new depths, continue adding to your dream board. Over time, nuances are more readily seen. Life purpose shifts from what one should or could do, as something that could be found - to what one uniquely wants to do, as something one has uniquely been creating the whole time, to do. As your vision arises more and more & becomes clearer & clearer, so does the value, the contribution, of the job you currently have as a stepping stone to where you’re taking this life next. It sounds like you’re doing fantastic, yet have reached a place that is tougher to navigate. Scrutinize the nuances of your psychology. The tiny details and discoveries found there are powerful. For example, the nuance in the difference between ‘getting a job I can live for’, vs ‘taking everything I love, and getting it in writing in front of me, and seeing what comes into focus’. 

[Fede83]

I start doing it nahm,I understand that the feeling going over the dream board is very important to send the message with the right intention,the universe is magnificent.

Ty a lot for ur answer here,u open me a world slowly unfolding to me ❤️❤️