Fear/blocks in pursuing new spirituality whole heartedly

[Dalin]

Hello friends, 

I am new the forum here but have spent quite sometime watching Leo’s videos and learning a great amount from him. Very excited to join this forum and get insights from like minded people. 
 

I am having trouble pursuing spiritual progression when it comes to many new age or eastern style practices. I was taught growing up in a Christian religion that worshipping false idols is of the devil. I never really had full faith in God or Christ growing up it just felt like I was supposed to believe. 

In my early 20s I started to delve into personal development and eastern philosophy. It completely changed my life for the better I think...helping me to start working through my addictions to drugs, alcohol, women, thinking...etc. 

After having a few too many bad trips on psychedelics I found myself at rock bottom with no confidence, self acceptance or any idea what my place on this earth could be. 

After about a year I am now doing much better and find myself enjoying a lot of the little things in life again. I long for a connect to God or source and can’t seem to find it. 
As I start to do practices like meditation and yoga I feel pulses of energy...sometimes energies that feel like spirits. 
This is where I hit a road block...my old teachings...or I guess conditioning starts to fear that doing these practices is going into the hands of the devil...or atleast that’s what I perceive it as. I try to tell myself that this is conditioning and an illusion of the mind...but I am tortured by the idea that God, Christ and Christianity is the absolute religion and if I don’t follow it I’m falling for the traps of the world. 

Sorry for the long post.
Has anyone had any similar experiences and been able to move forward appropriately? 

[erik8lrl]

Surrender and be. 

[Ananta]

@Dalin

Hi, welcome to the forum!

I think many people have the same concerns that you seem to, regarding if they are abandoning a religious faith and what impact that may have.

I'd say, it has no impact what so ever, but I can't make you see that perspective. You would need to see  through self-inquiry that your "true nature" has nothing to do with organized religion.

However, with that said, you also don't need to abandon your religious beliefs altogether, but actually put them into proper perspective. Bhakti yoga is a spiritual practice focused on a loving devotion towards a personal god.

Nothing wrong with it, imo, as long as its not fear based.

[mandyjw]

How do you think it is that Jesus was able to heal people, "drive out demons" heal mental illness and do other miracles? Do you think Jesus avoided the spirit realm and was afraid to open himself up to it?

 

[Nahm]

Hi & welcome!

If you meditate thinking goes, and you’ll feel. That is what you fear. It can’t be anything you think about, because you’re letting thinking go in meditation. Small stories, big stories. They all go. Then the fear goes, and it’s worth it. 

[Dalin]

Thank you for the thoughtful responses!! 
Helped quite a bit. Going to continue on working past the fear and integrating spiritual practices with an open heart! 

[Ananta]

@Dalin Excellent! ❤

[pluto]

Immerse yourself in love.