What the fuck is happening

[Bodhidharma]

Hello, past 2 weeks my conciousness got intriguingly higher and for 3 days life was wonderful, full of color, full of love and the interconnectedness of everything made me cry, but for some reason I got depressed for about 3 other days after that. After those 3 days it happened again, I got surprinsily awake and now I'm depressed again, I'm dying of boredom and sleeping everytime I can. I remember being so pacient and loving towards others, now it's rather the contrary. WHATS GOING ON???

[Aeris]

Méditation practice ?

High imply low sometimes.

It's just a feeling of opposite between mind & body

[Nak Khid]

you are pushing elation and the price is deflation

you might try spreading it out more and be more wary of highs

[cetus]

6 minutes ago, Nak Khid said:

you are pushing elation and the price is deflation

@Nak Khid

[erik8lrl]

Ego backlash. 

[Leo Gura]

The awakening process is going on. A tug of war between devil-consciousness and God-consciousness.

The devil will not go quietly.

Purifying a lifetime of selfish habits, attachments, and defilements requires years of serious, deliberate work. It will NOT happen automatically overnight.

Awakening will NOT erase all your defilements. If only it were so easy. The mind and body have a very strong inertia. Changing them is like derailing a freight train by throwing tennis balls.

[DaneV]

13 minutes ago, erik8lrl said:

Ego backlash. 

This...

You (partly) escaped the prison of the ego and felt relief. When you have seen the light, being in darkness again feels even darker as before. And now your ego is stacking things up by adding a sense of grief and a craving to be in that loving state again.

This is a normal part of the path and nothing to be worried about. The answer is to just observe this pattern and see  it for what it is.  And to inquire if there is something be found "behind" these two seemingly different states you were in.

Are they really different ? What labels are attached to either of this states ? Why is one better then the other ? It there something that is denying either of these states and what is it ? Who or what is experiencing these states anyway ? 

Edited November 7, 2019 by DaneV

[Bodhidharma]

Yeah man... 

I see it now. You are only able to experience the highs if you experience the lows. If you're in the lows it's a good thing to appreciate this, be thankful that this is only the mechanics of the proccess and exists for a reason. 

[Nahm]

@Bodhidharma

The “highs & lows” are still duality, still thought. As resistance, the duality hijacks the feeling.  A narrative upon the feeling. Letting thought go, feeling arises and purifies. 

Yet, then thought arises, “I have to let thoughts go”. Which would be a doing at the subtle behest of thought (duality still at the wheel).

It’s not possible to ‘stop thought’, or to ‘let thinking go’. It is possible to relax & focus on breathing, again & again, and without attention, thought subsides. Like a lion starving to death, it holds no punches. Like a Kardashian, it employs any means for attention. 

Likewise, it is not possible to resolve duality, only to be with feeling, and the thinking, the duality, starves & “dies”, of inattention. 

A negative feeling, requires a thinking mind, a subtle resistance, overlaying / applying “negative”.

It’s sneakier than what can be realized in thought. The “one who says - ‘negative’ ”, goes.

This is the Good news.

[Water]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The mind and body have a very strong inertia. Changing them is like derailing a freight train by throwing tennis balls.

 

15 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Bodhidharma

Like a Kardashian, it employs any means for attention. 

Hahaha the subleness in this comedy! I feel like we should Lighten up more, we take ourselves far to seriously on this forum.

Now let's get serious. 

 

?? LOL! I had to, I'm done I swear. 

-

I experienced something very similar but I made the mistake of letting it drag out for too long. It's very important that you tackle this now. I know it's easy for me to say this and I understand life definitely gets in the way but essentially your unpacking hidden boxes in your subconscious mind. 

What comes out will surprise you but remember to stay grounded. Keep to your meditation practice so your awareness stays up. It's very crucial because your going to need to find the lessons in each experience so you can integrate it. Don't do what I did and try to unpack it all at once thinking that this would make my spiritual process "faster."  Take it slow and integrate, you've got your whole life ahead of you to do it. Your going to be ok ?

[Bodhidharma]

Shit, conciousness work is so sneaky. You can't hold on to anything, maybe that's the whole point, stop identifying.

Edited November 8, 2019 by Bodhidharma

[WelcometoReality]

@Bodhidharma I was going to say, don't fight it. But you will.

So embrace the ups and the downs. Watch the one that holds on to the ups and pushes away the downs.

[erik8lrl]

Just be.

[Aeris]

22 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The awakening process is going on. A tug of war between devil-consciousness and God-consciousness.

The devil will not go quietly.

Purifying a lifetime of selfish habits, attachments, and defilements requires years of serious, deliberate work. It will NOT happen automatically overnight.

Awakening will NOT erase all your defilements. If only it were so easy. The mind and body have a very strong inertia. Changing them is like derailing a freight train by throwing tennis balls.

Don't assume it takes years always

I even believe some 16 y old kids are more enlightened than you or me is

But it can take a certain time according to your 'karma' in past life.

 

I have serious work to do myself even After my wake up.

I m just not fully grown up in all areas. 

Can't be

[inFlow]

@Bodhidharma its a part of the proccess, you will get depressed, you will get sad to the point of thinking that all this awakening/enlightenment stuff is just an illusion. You will lose hope, you will feel like shit over and over again. Thats why this work is done so rarely cause its not just butterflies and rainbows. If you just go through the pain in the end it will be well worth it.

Also deep awakening leads to deep ego backlashes. Stay strong and just bite the bullet.

[pluto]

You are resisting the truth on some level because the truth requires change of who you used to be to be able to embody your new state, your new truth. Your life new is going to cost you your old one and you need to be 100% in agreement with that, you need to let it go completely to be able to transcend into your new life. You made a choice, choose love, not fear.

That's how it works

Edited November 9, 2019 by pluto

[Fede83]

Choose love.

love is the key 

love is urself 

self love would help you so much in this darkest days.

i suggest u to start a cardiac coherence exercise ❤️

Edited November 9, 2019 by Fede83

[Matt8800]

@Bodhidharma According to the Theravada Buddhism model of awakening, you just got out of the arising and passing and entered the dark night. 

https://alohadharma.com/2011/06/12/the-dark-night/

This takes courage to get through and it must be done right. If you do, it is the end of "you" and the beginning of something new. It can feel like intense nihilism, which must be fully accepted and transcended. If you have questions about making it through this stage, let me know.

Daniel Ingram's book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha does a great job of mapping out the process of making it through.

[Fede83]

13 minutes ago, Matt8800 said:

@Bodhidharma According to the Theravada Buddhism model of awakening, you just got out of the arising and passing and entered the dark night. 

https://alohadharma.com/2011/06/12/the-dark-night/

This takes courage to get through and it must be done right. If you do, it is the end of "you" and the beginning of something new. It can feel like intense nihilism, which must be fully accepted and transcended. If you have questions about making it through this stage, let me know.

Daniel Ingram's book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha does a great job of mapping out the process of making it through.

How long a dark night of the soul can last ? And any tips for going over it?

pretty much curios about ❤️

[Bodhidharma]

@Fede83  Hey dude, if you're that curius about the mighty "dark night of the soul" search for the book @Matt8800  mentions, it has a session about it, it's a pretty fucking cool book.