Why do some people act like dating 18-19 year old women is paedophilia?

[wk197]

I've been seeing this trend lately on twitter and reddit with people acting like dating 18-19 year olds even sometimes if you're in your 20's is paedophile or borderline paedophilic? I am 22 it just seems absurd to me. 

[Ananta]

40 minutes ago, wk197 said:

I've been seeing this trend lately on twitter and reddit with people acting like dating 18-19 year olds even sometimes if you're in your 20's is paedophile or borderline paedophilic? I am 22 it just seems absurd to me. 

Well, in the USA if you're 18 you are old enough to vote and fight (and get killed) for your country.

Is it just your country?

Anyhow, do what you like, stop worrying about what others think?

[FuriousGeorge]

I’m 36 and my last GF was 21, the judgement was brutal. It didn’t bother me but it made her quite upset. I suppose it didn’t help that she was under 5ft tall ?

[pluto]

Age does not define maturity as grades do not measure intelligence.

[Nickyy]

3 hours ago, wk197 said:

I've been seeing this trend lately on twitter and reddit with people acting like dating 18-19 year olds even sometimes if you're in your 20's is paedophile or borderline paedophilic? I am 22 it just seems absurd to me. 

The moral of the story is that you should probably avoid things like Reddit and Twitter.

Is it really worth getting drowned in the flavour of the month?

I avoid popular culture because it's nowhere near as interesting as basking in my own bliss ?

[Aquarius]

2 hours ago, FuriousGeorge said:

I’m 36 and my last GF was 21, the judgement was brutal. It didn’t bother me but it made her quite upset. I suppose it didn’t help that she was under 5ft tall ?

Lmaoooo

@wk197 When I was 17 (im a girl) I got a 28 year old boyfriend. It lasted 4 years, we broke up recently.. I am almost 22 now and he is 32. *shrug* 

The sexual life was fiiiine...  

Besides... being older like that, made him more mature. He also was the one that introduced me into hardcore spiritual practices, since he communicates with angels and all. I mean he used to. He is cool. Too bad he is emotionally and mentally abusive because of his borderline disorder..

Edited November 7, 2019 by Aquarius

[Alex]

@wk197 Probably a bunch of bitter young guys that don't want their imaginary potential girls to get snached by more mature and developed old guys. I mean it's their loss If they complain instead of becomeing more like the guys they envy. 

Besides that the hard border in the us for sexual intercourse is very misleading and not to be taken as dogma, atleast if you consider the Nuance of sexual relations. 

[drmiller100]

I know guys who are in their 50's dating 18 year olds.  They'd date younger if they could as it inflates their egos.

I have a step daughter who when she was 16 wanted to date a 22 year old.   I sat her down and had a discussion.   I asked her if she wanted to go make out with Timmy next door (Timmy was 13 and had a huge crush on her).  She was grossed out and and said so. 

Timmy was 13 and a child to her but only 3 years younger.   To a healthy 22 year old, most 16 year old should be too immature to be really interesting long term.   I understand Timmy wanted to mack with the hotty next door and I understand the 18 year old wanting the attention and gifts from the much older guy.

Likewise grandpa 50 year old banging an 18 year old is probably not balanced in power. I'm 52 and have decent courtship skills.  I could bang a lot of younger girls if I put a teeny bit of effort into it, but I don't think a 20 year old can truly consent.

To consent, she'd have to have the ability to say "no" of her own free will.   She may think she can say No, but the reality is to me she is a child. 

The definition of pedophile is someone who fucks children. 

[drmiller100]

11 hours ago, Aquarius said:

Lmaoooo

@wk197 When I was 17 (im a girl) I got a 28 year old boyfriend. It lasted 4 years, we broke up recently.. I am almost 22 now and he is 32. *shrug* 

The sexual life was fiiiine...  

Besides... being older like that, made him more mature. He also was the one that introduced me into hardcore spiritual practices, since he communicates with angels and all. I mean he used to. He is cool. Too bad he is emotionally and mentally abusive because of his borderline disorder..

A great example.  The 28 year old was incredibly immature and stunted. After 4 years, you grew up and outgrew him. 

if he had been more abusive, you might be fucked up or dead.

[Elisabeth]

@wk197 The thing is, a big age difference is not always a problem, but in some cases, it amplifies or induces abusive relationships dynamics. If your partner is much older, there is almost automatically a power differential introduced into your relationship: the opinion of the "more experienced" matters more, the older one tends to have more money and possessions, somehow they are the one setting the tone. That's why not-so-healthy men who want to be in control will date young girls who can be influenced easily. Even if both people are healthy and well-intentioned, the power differential is definitely something to be conscious about, because if you aren't, you can fall into abusive patterns by accident. An age difference of 10 years is not much of a problem if you are 25 and out of school and your partner is 35, but if you're 18 and don't make any money of your own yet and your partner is 28 and confident... yeah, there can be some problems.

[Forestluv]

@wk197 It’s context dependent. A 22 y.o, dating a 19 y.o. generally isn’t much of a mismatch. Yet that is very different than a 42 y.o. university professor sleeping with one of his 19 y.o. students.

[Nivsch]

@wk197 No.

I'm 32 and i'm attracted to 18-30 year old boys.

And yes sometimes to 17 and 16 but its illegal so i dont try (and also its too much mentally different). 

I try only 20-30 ages.

So what, i'm a phedophille? No.

Dont get triggered by stupid toxic definitions and judgments.

Is it legal? You love each other and develop each other? Thats it.

All the other stuff are nonsense.

Edited November 9, 2019 by Nivsch

[Aquarius]

On 11/7/2019 at 6:37 PM, drmiller100 said:

A great example.  The 28 year old was incredibly immature and stunted. After 4 years, you grew up and outgrew him. 

if he had been more abusive, you might be fucked up or dead.

Yeah... he is still abusive. Like yesterday he called me and said there are rumors in the small town i live in about me

And called me "you megalomaniac schizo"... ouch.

i was like whaaaaat those psychos can suck it who cares about gossip ???? *angeryyy*

And yes, I used to be very submissive because of his narcissistic personality. But in the end, I outgrew him. I like mature guys, but they tell me I am too childlike for them. Need to grow more... !  

[Aquarius]

On 11/7/2019 at 10:56 PM, modmyth said:

Who gives a shit?

Honestly, I think it's one of those cases where if the genders are reversed, the woman probably gets a pass.

I went on a date with a guy who was 26 and he said he dated a 33 year old german teacher once.  

On 11/7/2019 at 11:05 PM, modmyth said:

Yea, this was me too. But 20 when I was 15. Except I was the one who introduced him to a lot of spiritual practices/ thought, and he ended up with a lot of my music taste as well. He also had a number of issues, and I think a person with a different personality would have been effected far worse by his volatility. I never took him too seriously 98% of time.

This was legal at the time where I lived. I didn't even particularly have a thing for older guys either. Now that I'm the age that I am (lol), I'd probably date younger if all other factors were equal. 

It's legal here too.. where do you live??

On 11/8/2019 at 5:55 AM, Serotoninluv said:

@wk197 It’s context dependent. A 22 y.o, dating a 19 y.o. generally isn’t much of a mismatch. Yet that is very different than a 42 y.o. university professor sleeping with one of his 19 y.o. students.

I know a 40 year old history teacher who dates a 14 year old girl... she smokes weed and drinks a lot. 

 

1 hour ago, Nivsch said:

@wk197 No.

I'm 32 and i'm attracted to 18-30 year old boys.

And yes sometimes to 17 and 16 but its illegal so i dont try (and also its too much mentally different). 

I try only 20-30 ages.

So what, i'm a phedophille? No.

Dont get triggered by stupid toxic definitions and judgments.

Is it legal? You love each other and develop each other? Thats it.

All the other stuff are nonsense.

Awww agreed. Loved the "love and develop each other" part. 

Age is really just a number, and real life has nothing to do with internet culture..

Edited November 9, 2019 by Aquarius

[Preety_India]

I don't think pedophilia is wrong. I used to think that way though. But it seems like a lot of men naturally get attracted to younger girls and it's a fact they try to hide due to social pressure... 

But truth eventually comes out. A lot of these men are unhappy with their wives because they are attracted to the neighborhood girl who is younger.

I think society can do far better with more sexual Liberation. 

I think sexual stuff becomes criminally offensive only when there is no consent and when emotional manipulation and abuse is involved. Or physical intimidation, sociopathy or violence is involved.... 

 

It shouldn't be criminal if both enjoy it and are happy with the sexual experience. The age doesn't matter. 

It should be deemed criminal only if the person has suffered trauma. Otherwise it's only a sexual act. 

I think deep down the problem lies with demonization of sex by religion and society which is useless. It doesn't work. Sex is a primal need..

So this demonization presents itself in different ways like setting barriers and slut shaming and shaming people who want sex. 

I personally feel pedophilia is a sexual orientation that does not get a healthy outlet.