Feeling of missing out in life

[Striving for more]

On 07/11/2019 at 3:53 PM, mikelyons said:

@Valach what you don't want is the feeling when you're 33 that you wasted your 20s on dumb empty bullshit like drinking, partying, chasing underdeveloped girls.
It's much more painful, trust me.

I actually am in complete disagreement with this statement ^^

I agree that you shouldn't be trapped always doing this, but if you enjoy that stuff then do it, the point of life is to have fun and feel joy. 

@Valach what you don't want is the feeling when you're 33 that you never let lose and had fun in your 20's (which is still extremely young) because some random guy convinced you that his values should be the same as yours.

What is it with people criticizing partying and meeting girls so much ?? I am naturally more extroverted, so I have always enjoyed that stuff, and I too regret not having done it enough. When I am around crowds and women and music I feel ALIVE. I feel more present. This covid is hard for me because I want to do pick up, I want to become confident and party and have fun.

I really do not understand this demonization of being an extrovert and not always taking yourself too seriously. 

[Striving for more]

@undeather Thank you. This is exactly what I was trying to point out. 

Everyone has their own balance. Their own values. Their own personality.

Isn't the point of life to find the balance that suits you, as a unique individual ?

[Nahm]

On 11/6/2019 at 2:24 PM, Valach said:

Feeling of missing out on life.

Recently I have after longer pause started working on myslef in terms of both spirituality ( mostly meditation ) and social skills ( doing pickup ). What I have noticed in last week however is that I have this very sad and annoying feeling that I have missed out in life. I am 23 years old and I feel like the stage when you are young and go drink with your friend and do stupid shit is kinda over both because of my age and because of me doing spirituality and that does not align with this. Even when I try to remind myself that I the presence is all that matters, this uneasy feeling comes back to me. Has anyone ever experienced this? And how have you overcame this? Thanks is advance guys

Missing out on life is a thought, not a feeling. It doesn’t resonate with feeling, because feeling is life, or, aliveness if you will. It’s infinite, so no chance of missing out on it. It’s like me and you are hanging out and I say “man...I’m really missing out on you”. You’d be like, “dude, what are you even talking about, I’m right here with you.” And I’d be like, “oh yeah”. Then we’d laugh together I imagine. 

Let that thought go...and pick a thought that does feel good to you...well, that’ll make a lot of sense. That’s what life is for.

[hoodrow trillson]

4 hours ago, Striving for more said:

I actually am in complete disagreement with this statement ^^

I agree that you shouldn't be trapped always doing this, but if you enjoy that stuff then do it, the point of life is to have fun and feel joy. 

@Valach what you don't want is the feeling when you're 33 that you never let lose and had fun in your 20's (which is still extremely young) because some random guy convinced you that his values should be the same as yours.

What is it with people criticizing partying and meeting girls so much ?? I am naturally more extroverted, so I have always enjoyed that stuff, and I too regret not having done it enough. When I am around crowds and women and music I feel ALIVE. I feel more present. This covid is hard for me because I want to do pick up, I want to become confident and party and have fun.

I really do not understand this demonization of being an extrovert and not always taking yourself too seriously. 

As a fellow extrovert:  I think it seems that way because part of it is projection.  A lot of people on this forum have more of an introverted type of personality going by the threads and posts I see--once in a while, this forum will catch a curious extrovert just looking to broaden the life paintbrush out of sheer child-like curiosity--and these extroverts might not even be coming from a place of trying to cope from suffering in life or any myriad of mental issues some people on this website have.  They just enjoy life so much and they want more on top of that!  

I'm a 34 year old guy and I am ABSOLUTELY glad I did stupid shit like partying, chasing women, drinking, smoking, hanging with friends, etc.  Hell, I'm still doing some of that stupid shit lmao.  Some can point and call it immaturity or unenlightened but that action of pointing and judgment is actually immature and unenlightened!  

Tomorrow is never promised and having these weirdo guidelines of "don't party in your 20s, get serious in your 30s, by your 40s you should be a CEO" is absolute crap.  Have fun!  This life thing is a fucking miracle to even experience in the first place and nobody knows jack shit about this life.  My personal "rule" is to have fun, take the fun routes in life, try the counterintuitive methods sometimes and live it up!  Just don't hurt anybody in the process and remember that there are consequences in this life so do not end up in prison for God's sake.

If you get joy out of something harmless, enjoy it!!!

 

[Espaim]

Just by reading this comment you're missing out on an infinity of things you could be doing

Focus on what you can do now and forget about your past. You can't do anything about the past but you definitely have the power to alter your future if you focus on the present.

And pls, 23 is still young as fuck. I have some friends around this age and they still do dumb shit and smoke green and party. Leo started heavily his pickup shit after 23 I think. Don't quote me on this.

I like drugs but not that much partying because I'm not really interested in relationships or one night stands so I don't care. I pursue what I want which is human connection and fun. If parties are a good way of doing this then I'm there otherwise fuck it

Edited December 8, 2020 by Espaim

[Heaven]

I believe start with meditation, relaxation and letting go techniques just to clean those negative thought patterns. Afterwards, you can start to ask yourself what life you want to build and work everyday towards it.

Overthinking is the thief of joy. It’s not that your life sucks but your thinking about it makes it so. Never forget that.

[Logan]

@Valach Don't worry about fitting in with society. They don't know what they are doing any more than you do. If your friends are holding you back, consider moving on from them and make friends with people you aspire to be like. Generally speaking, you will absorb the values of those who you are most commonly around.

Add Contemplation as a habit to go along with meditation.

 

 

[Striving for more]

@hoodrow trillson

On 08/12/2020 at 10:14 PM, hoodrow trillson said:

A lot of people on this forum have more of an introverted type of personality going by the threads and posts I see--once in a while, this forum will catch a curious extrovert just looking to broaden the life paintbrush out of sheer child-like curiosity--and these extroverts might not even be coming from a place of trying to cope from suffering in life or any myriad of mental issues some people on this website have.  They just enjoy life so much and they want more on top of that!  

There's no correlation between suffering or mental issues and being an introvert. Having mental issues is just a human condition.

Also I don't think it's as straight forward as always being an extrovert. 

Some people are more in the middle or fluctuate a bit. 

[hoodrow trillson]

4 hours ago, Striving for more said:

@hoodrow trillson

There's no correlation between suffering or mental issues and being an introvert. Having mental issues is just a human condition.

Also I don't think it's as straight forward as always being an extrovert. 

Some people are more in the middle or fluctuate a bit. 

You know what I meant

[levani]

Even if it was a mistake before tonight and the fully, The only thing you ever have is the present moment, so the more time you spend bullshitting to yourself the more you take away your youngness/youth/now

 

option a - imagine if you stop bullshitting to yourself now about your age and do the shit that you want to do

vs

option b - Imagine if you don't stop bullshitting to yourself now about your age for the next 10 years then you're gonna say you're are 33 and still bullshitting about the things you didn't you rather than the things that you did (option a)

[bejapuskas]

@Valach  Have you actually tried partying? For some people maybe partying works, but I tried like three times and it felt super shallow and full of trying to impress, acting cool etc. There are other good things out there just saying, that you can want, don't let what you want be limited to what others tell you they want. I started actualizing when I was super young and I hated things like alcohol and drugs because of my father's cigarette addiction I wanted him to quit. I never smoked myself, but then I am glad I at least tried partying a few times so that I now know that it is something I do not want from my life. Trying out once and creating your own opinion, seeing if it resonates, doesn't cost you almost anything. (unless you do something like heroine I guess you are not that stupid) 

This is just my perspective though, it might work for you, but please try. Also don't be afraid of not fulfilling your needs, there is not one way to actualize yourself, there is not one way to connect with people, not one way to get a girlfriend. There are so many opportunities for you to do this. Just choose the one that suits you. One of my best friends stopped partying and thanked me for showing him a new way to live. But then it was his decision, his good feeling that guided him, to do something instead of something else. Maybe not even searching for the truth is something you want, even though searching for falsehood sounds dumb. 

Perhaps you are not even that confused as you think you are. I mean, would you like to become a horse trainer? Would you like to become a homeless person? Would you like to become an astronaut? Maybe yes, maybe not, probably if you wanted that you would've already known. But if you say no, then that tells you at least something about your direction. Maybe what could help would be exploring very exotic things, talking to people who come from different environments than you (there are plenty on this forum just DM them) and thus getting your values and opinions challenged and questioned. I think it is a good way to figure out what you want. What you want is in you, I think you are just feeling confused honestly. It is hard to know what you want if you don't answer that question.

[nitramadas]

On 06/11/2019 at 7:24 PM, Valach said:

 after long pause started working on myself .. spirituality, mostly .. doing pickup.

lol, I just found that weirdly funny..

Well you've come to the right forum.

 

To make this quick, I'll give just one piece of advice:

Aim higher.  Don't aim for "ordinary happiness", aim to become fully enlightened.  Aim to become a billionaire if that's what you want, and know it will happen.  Aim SO fucking high that nothing else matters if you achieve it, making the future over-compensate for the past. 

If Jeff Bezos had a shitty childhood, if he missed out on drinking in his youth, you think he'd care about that now?  Being in his position, would you now be thinking those childhood years were not worth it?  

Edited December 19, 2020 by nitramadas

[Infinite Katamari]

I like to realize that that "life" is a delusion and always was.

[Striving for more]

@bejapuskas But what if you partied and didn't drink or smoke ? You don't have to do it unhealthy.

To me partying just requires music, crowds of people and hopefully some hot girls. 

It's shallow to you because you are an introvert. You only like deep conversations. 

I can do both. I can talk about deep stuff, but I want to party more. 

Realize that maybe 30-50% of the population loves partying, just like some people are gay, it's out of your control what you enjoy.  

It's decided at birth due to your innate personality. So there's no point calling out partying as shallow when that's like me saying men are not attractive. Men are not attractive to me, because I'm straight, but they're sexy as hell to gay guys. 

Also I actually think partying is super spiritual, even if I don't know the people, I could picture myself just in the zone on an island, being free and careless, everyone relaxed and socializing in the blazing sun. It's a great contrast to the hustle & bustle of everyday life, Loud music speakers raising the vibration and mood of everyone, people laughing and smiling. You get introduced to cool new people, with unique personalities.

 

Edited December 19, 2020 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

13 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@Valach  I tried like three times and it felt super shallow and full of trying to impress, acting cool etc.

That just means you went to the wrong party. There are parties where people are the opposite of that. Where people are just being themselves, enjoying existence. Just depends on the vibe.

I do get you though, going to a bad party is horrible, full of shallow fake people that sucks. 

[bejapuskas]

11 hours ago, Striving for more said:

That just means you went to the wrong party. There are parties where people are the opposite of that. Where people are just being themselves, enjoying existence. Just depends on the vibe.

I do get you though, going to a bad party is horrible, full of shallow fake people that sucks. 

I think you are right on this. Maybe I don't trust the odds of any party turning out to be a good one, so I just end up doing different things instead x) 

11 hours ago, Striving for more said:

But what if you partied and didn't drink or smoke ? You don't have to do it unhealthy.

To me partying just requires music, crowds of people and hopefully some hot girls. 

It's shallow to you because you are an introvert. You only like deep conversations. 

I can do both. I can talk about deep stuff, but I want to party more. 

Well yeh I don't do either. And I guess I would enjoy a different kind of party with a different kind of people and hot girls. I like deep conversations for sure and I believe there can be a balance between partying and talking about deep stuff.

11 hours ago, Striving for more said:

Realize that maybe 30-50% of the population loves partying, just like some people are gay, it's out of your control what you enjoy.  

It's decided at birth due to your innate personality. So there's no point calling out partying as shallow when that's like me saying men are not attractive. Men are not attractive to me, because I'm straight, but they're sexy as hell to gay guys. 

Also I actually think partying is super spiritual, even if I don't know the people, I could picture myself just in the zone on an island, being free and careless, everyone relaxed and socializing in the blazing sun. It's a great contrast to the hustle & bustle of everyday life, Loud music speakers raising the vibration and mood of everyone, people laughing and smiling. You get introduced to cool new people, with unique personalities.

Yeh bro I totally get you, if the OP wants to party then sure I hope they go for it. I was just trying to give them another perspective. I don't judge any type of person who isn't cisgender straight.  Partying can certainly be seen as spiritual, just like anything. 

[hyruga]

There are thousands of things to try out in this world. You are going to miss out some of the activities anyway. Like can you be a doctor, a life coach, a renowned chef, a spiritual guru, a lawyer, a coder, a party guy etc 

So instead of thinking you are missing out, why not think of it as you are very focused in your path spiritual journey? It is not easy to stay focused in one path.