A little rant/reflection of disillusionment + A question about University/College

[JakeyAwakey]

For all my life, I have always had a sense of entitlement to Life Purpose and Success. When I was young I read heaps of self help and personal development. My young unaware mind eventually ventured down the path of The Secret and Abraham Hicks. I became hooked on consuming that content because it allowed me to avoid emotional difficulty. However, because I was young, I had no clue that I still had to actually face emotional difficulty to get anywhere worth getting in life. I just assumed being a self help junkie and mentally masturbating was the key to happiness. I fell into a deep depression due to my lack of self awareness and overall weakness and laziness. Now I am in the process of clawing my way out into reality and every shred of happiness I feel  grateful for because I don't deserve anything I have in my life. I have been given awesome life circumstances and amazing opportunities and I know it's my moral obligation to pull my bootstraps up and raise consciousness for others.  I feel shameful how much I complain. 

So in the past few months outside of high school, reality is starting to hit home. I realized I am not entitled to anything. Although I was a successful leader in high school and I was always told I was going to be great this does not actually equate to anything in the real world. The real world is full of people who just want to live their lives who won't usually give anything to you. They don't owe you anything. They are not your teachers patting you on the head saying good boy. Additionally, in the real world there is a lot more fear and uncertainty in starting things.

This has hit home harder when I see small YouTube channels who are unremarkable copycats doing nothing. This hits home harder when I realise half-assing life will not get you anywhere and is quite childish. I realise I need to be profoundly practical, effective and courageous which is painful and hard work. I need to reactivate deep courage and push through the emotional difficulty.

I have so bloody much to work on and I realise the Life Purpose course was the absolute best thing for me. Leo really says it how it is and sometimes it is scary and hurts but I am so grateful this random man on the internet is fucking generously providing all this education. It's really inspiring for a young man to see that there are people out there who are actually giving. Who are genuine loving leaders who really care and are ethical. (I know I am kissing ass a bit but Idgaf) If Leo wasn't courageous we wouldn't be here and right now and I would probably be lost in low consciousness. 

Finally, I have a question in and amongst this reflection.

Last year I was accepted into an 'exclusive' Business Leadership course at my university (What a disillusionment this was). However, I have realised that I could easily educate myself better. I could read a book a week really hone down and focus on what I need to learn and hustle hard. But the thing is I don't know if that's my laziness and inability to face emotional difficulty speaking or somewhere I need to be courageous and drop out. Just because the course is 'exclusive' doesn't mean shit but at the same time dropping out could be a strategic blunder. Also my parents who are mostly stage blue are very much against me dropping out and I live under their roof. 

I have been searching through the forum for Leo's answers on University/College. However, I couldn't find anything I could sink my teeth into. I also realise this has to be ultimately my decision and my judgement. I am putting this out there and seeing what comes back.

Thank you in advance. I don't expect anything ( but I am hoping really hard here dawg)

 

 

     

 

 

[JustThinkingAloud]

@JakeyAwakey

I’ve done my degree and it did pay out for a short while before I started deviating too much and therefore annoying my bosses. I got pushed into having my own business. Also, couple of years ago I wanted to learn coding and went to a city college. I lasted 6 weeks (haha) because one of the teachers decided to trick me into failing because I was doing my own thing. I decided that in formal education there’s some good things that are useful but a lot of “extra” things that aren’t worth it. I learnt on my own and within four months I finished my first database app.

The moral of the story: If you need/want to deviate, there’s nothing wrong with it, just be sure to know what you’re doing, you will face resistance from others and be prepared to deal with. Also, doing your own way means figuring things out on your own, there’s not many people that can advise you.

[JakeyAwakey]

@JustThinkingAloud

Thanks for your reply and for sharing your story.

 

I think you are right, this question is a personal one that not many people can advise me on. 

 

I think I am still getting used to leading myself and thinking critically.