I don’t know exactly why I’m pursuing awakening.

[7thLetter]

Part of me wants to pursue it for the sake of finding truth, part of me just does it for material purposes. “Maybe this yoga/meditation will help me control my emotions to talk to girls, or take the leap to start a business.”

Maybe I need to take a step back, and continue to pursue my lower survival needs. Although at times I feel like this is not something to ignore.

I’m still 23.

Advice?

[allislove]

Advice.

If you like to do meditation or yoga do it. And don't blame yourself for egoitic reasons to do it. If you don't like to meditate or do yoga don't do it. And don't blame yourself for not doing it. 

Edited November 3, 2019 by dimitri

[cetus]

@7thLetter Welcome your path with open arms whatever it be.

[JustThinkingAloud]

44 minutes ago, 7thLetter said:

Part of me wants to pursue it for the sake of finding truth, part of me just does it for material purposes. “Maybe this yoga/meditation will help me control my emotions to talk to girls, or take the leap to start a business.”

Maybe I need to take a step back, and continue to pursue my lower survival needs. Although at times I feel like this is not something to ignore.

I’m still 23.

Advice?

Material purposes are part of the Truth. I'd focus to find the Truth that relates to material purposes first and once you set yourself up and get bored you can go into the "deeper" stuff.

[Nahm]

You can’t get it wrong. There’s no judge. 

[ajasatya]

@7thLetter Truth is not something separated from your daily activities. It's not falseable.

You, surviving, is an expression of God, like anything else. You can't find Truth and you can't lose it either.

[MAYA EL]

6 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

Part of me wants to pursue it for the sake of finding truth, part of me just does it for material purposes. “Maybe this yoga/meditation will help me control my emotions to talk to girls, or take the leap to start a business.”

Maybe I need to take a step back, and continue to pursue my lower survival needs. Although at times I feel like this is not something to ignore.

I’m still 23.

Advice?

You think it's important cuz it's beat into  your brain with social media and the things you pay attention to. Something you won't understand until maybe 10 years from now but you're only 23 your brain might be a lot more stable than it was it 18 but you should be a completely different person by 30 so much more level-headed and consistent with your thoughts and desires and you will look back at the time you were 23 and see how you struggled with that sporadic desire like a 2 inch barrel shotgun at a sniper competition.

 

I will say though people that actually become enlightened did so without realizing they were on the path to enlightenment they did not have an agenda or desire for it it was a byproduct not a goal end product. Although with the way the human mind works you can trick yourself into thinking you've experienced Awakening and our enlightened and I've seen people stay in that state of fake Awakening all the way until they got into their 60s and 70s and that's when it's a lot harder to go through a true Awakening.

Edited November 4, 2019 by MAYA EL

[7thLetter]

@ajasatya I’ll replace the word “finding” with “understanding.”

@Nahm @ajasatya Main reason for this thread: I don’t know why I do the spiritual practices. Spiritual practices lead to awakening right? And the reason for holding myself back, is that I focus on the “negative” sides of spirituality. Do I focus on it too much or is it rare for those things to happen? Plus, I don’t know what I want out of this. I treat it like its just a regular hobby of mine.

[JoshuaBell]

Hey man it’s up to you whether you want to pursue awakening. In the end we’re all gonna die lol

Edited November 4, 2019 by JoshuaBell

[Aaron p]

Go for the big cheese lol

[Fabiankuy]

I personally had the same problem. I also knew about me partially doing these things for my ego. I persisted anyway because I thought "Hey, who knows if I'm ever going further in this if not now??" So I decided to do it anyway.

This way of doing it brought me very deep in terms of experiences, but it also really created problems in my everyday-life. Partially, I pursued consciousness not really because of the peaceful states it brought, but for the feeling of superiority that might come along with it. The validation of "being right" at what I do and the "license to shame others if they're not as deep in this as I am". I hope you get what I'm pointing at.

I really never felt as isolated as I did during this time. I also didn't attract high quality people during this time. But these are just my experiences, and I pushed it very far and it even worked very well, meaning I had a total experience of "no-self" on a daily level, I felt one with EVERYTHING for 30-60 minutes DAILY during very deep meditation and so on. So basically, you CAN have these crazy, mindblowing experiences, even if you act out of trauma or compensation, but right after the experience ends, you're gonna be pushed into even deeper darkness than ever before. So really beware of this, it took me quite some time to get out of this. It's not all just easygoing and peaceful if you do it this way.

In conclusion, I really like the things that the others said: Do it if you genuinely want to do it, but just don't push it too far.

[Michael569]

Same here. I feel that it's the right thing to do in my life but at the same time cannot really comprehend most of the nonduality videos. Maybe I'm just pursuing it because Leo whom I respect talks about it all the time but deep inside I am not ready and won't be for many years to come because I haven't fulfilled my purpose and material needs yet. 

[ivankiss]

I don't remember deciding to "pursue awakening". It just started happening naturally, on its own.

It's not like I could've said: "nah, this can wait a few more years." 

I did not choose. I was chosen.

I did not seek Truth. It found me.

[Aeris]

1 hour ago, Michael569 said:

Same here. I feel that it's the right thing to do in my life but at the same time cannot really comprehend most of the nonduality videos. Maybe I'm just pursuing it because Leo whom I respect talks about it all the time but deep inside I am not ready and won't be for many years to come because I haven't fulfilled my purpose and material needs yet. 

Have done that at 25 years. It's not about getting the material for real, it is seeing it as "shallow for happiness" not in the way it is "shallow", but maybe like this :

but see, I don't know you, but take something as "video game" imagine that you think " video game is a waste of my time and energy".

if I give you a house in 3D inside a video game, you would tell me, how this shit will makes me happy, it is not real.

but if you were living in the game, you would see the house as valuable.

ultimately realising that you should follow your gut for thinking your next move in real life. If your gut is turned upon getting material that's all you'll get.

when I was a 15 years old, and wanted to buy "immaterial thing" my dad, was thinking I was insane to use "real monney" for "non real object".

in reality, there is no real monney, and all objects are projection.

having a 50m², a nice bed, good food, and I m already a god living a better life than the shitty businessman having a huge house but very little value out of it ( only the delusion he project into object as "making me happy/valuable" )

materialism is easy to transcend, not that you don't need to eat, but above having to eat, this is neediness/fear to want more "security" more & more.

yes I want a better computer right now, that's a material need, but as I cannot get it, I'll strive on the current material and use my hands for drawing.

[allislove]

19 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I don't remember deciding to "pursue awakening". It just started happening naturally, on its own.

It's not like I could've said: "nah, this can wait a few more years." 

I did not choose. I was chosen.

I did not seek Truth. It found me.

Exactly. All these talking about whether to pursue enlightenment or not are just mental masturbation. If it's destined to happen it will happen. 

[Nahm]

6 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

@ajasatya I’ll replace the word “finding” with “understanding.”

@Nahm @ajasatya Main reason for this thread: I don’t know why I do the spiritual practices. Spiritual practices lead to awakening right? And the reason for holding myself back, is that I focus on the “negative” sides of spirituality. Do I focus on it too much or is it rare for those things to happen? Plus, I don’t know what I want out of this. I treat it like its just a regular hobby of mine.

What are you talking about when you say “the negative sides of spirituality” ?  (if you’re willing to answer, try to without pointing to someone else, or merely what someone else says, but what is your answer, from your direct experience ? How have you yourself experienced spirituality to be negative?)

“Do I focus on “it” too much?” - What is it ? What is it you are focusing on? More importantly, how does it feel - and why do you feel that way? 

What is “those things” ? 

Is it possible that “it” and “those things” are - delusion / projection / self doubt / fear - rather than some components of spirituality, rather than any actual negative thing? 

 

[nistake]

I asked myself the same question when I was doing meditation, yoga, self-inquiry and other spiritual practises. Why am I even doing this stuff? What am I trying to achieve/attain? This went on for a while but basically I couldn't find any reasonable answer so I took a step back and started focusing on my basic needs. I kept my meditation routine but I started building healthy daily habits, dealing with my career stuff, learning new things, dealing with my emotional issues and so on.

I wanted to skip this step thinking my spiritual practises would solve my other issues but the thing is, it doesn't work that way. Also, it's perfectly okay to deal with "lower" needs before you jump into hardcore spirituality.

[7thLetter]

@Nahm You’re right, I get what you’re trying to say. My current ideas about spiritual work are based on other people’s experiences and my theoretical understanding of it.

I haven’t experienced spirituality to be “negative” but based on a few cases of other people’s experiences it seems a bit terrifying. For example, I’ve read that people talk about the “DKoTS” in Kundalini, which is said to be a depression phase, which I don’t doubt. It’s said to be a “layer” that we peel like the layers of an onion. Its facing the dark side of your past in the process of purification. I understand though that spirituality is unique to the individual, so people with have their own unique experiences, and some people may or may not experience these things. But maybe I have a dark past and fear is holding me back from facing it? That could be a reason why I have these concerns.

Then there’s Leo’s videos on spirituality. With years of watching his videos, I’ve experienced and found most of his content to be true. Topics as ego backlash, spiral dynamics, learning = behavior change, etc. Of course I have to take the theory and experience it for myself and not just blindly believe in everything he says, but I’m quite open-minded and I don’t doubt a lot of what he says. In my own understanding, spiritual work is about destroying the ego or stripping away your own identity as a human being. And that definitely can be threatening to us. That means we have to let go of certain things. In my direct experience I’ve already experienced that myself on a smaller level. I’ve had to let go of certain friends, thoughts, experiences, in this process of purification. So if I’ve experienced purification on a smaller level, taking it even deeper is just what I’ve already been doing but by 10x or 100x.

I’m 23, I’ve still got many attachments to this material world, I still want to put myself in a good position financially first and I want a girlfriend, before anything else. I still work a job, I still live with parents. Spiritual work seems like it disregards all that throws it all away. But here is why I ask my question. I feel that I would get too deep into spiritual work that I may potentially have little to no desire for these material things. In Leo’s recent video “The Dangers of Spiritual Work,” the quote in the beginning says, “Its all fun and games until someone loses an I.” That quote is so deep and it really spoke to me. It seems like there is no turning back and will interfere with our daily lives. It’s great and all, unconditional happiness, destroy fear and other limitations, but I’ve got my life ahead of me and it feels like I’m throwing it all away at a young age. I don’t even hang out with anyone anymore and do things I used to because of how deep I took this.

Another reason for this thread, my membership trial is ending very soon at the yoga studio, and to continue would be $100/month. To continue or not to? I don’t know. But the main drive for me to continue is that maybe I could meet a girl there? 

[Leo Gura]

@7thLetter Go talk to girls and start a business.

You are putting the cart before the horse.

Truth will destroy your whole life. There will be nothing left. You will not care about girls or business by the time you find Truth and stabilize in it. Stabilizing in Truth will require surrendering all your material attachments.

[Philipp]

@Leo Gura I understand that the Truth will take everything, and you will have to let go of everything, but if that is the case, then why should you pursue that which you will eventually let go of. Are girls and Businesses worth anything? Why care about things in the short game if in the long games those don't matter?