Encouraging femininity

[FuriousGeorge]

45 minutes ago, JustThinkingAloud said:

@FuriousGeorge

I’m a tomboy girl, no point in hiding it, it shows! 

I’m trying to imagine that my partner has the same problem as you do.  I love my partner and I want him to be happy so if he suggested some ideas that aren’t criticizing my personality, I’d do it for him. I like @Anna1 ’s lace nightie idea, you just need to ask it as a big favour rather than imply any criticism. Do not expect personality change though, only we can change our personality and even then it’s bloody hard.

I think I’m gonna have to go shopping for her ? I would t say I want her personality to change but taking the ball cap off once in a while would be a great start ?

[Leo Gura]

@FuriousGeorge Just be careful with your manipulations. Selfish manipulations undermine your relationship.

[remember]

48 minutes ago, FuriousGeorge said:

I agree, I don’t think the polarity is that influential but it may make space for it. Moods definitely plays a huge role, our weekends where neither of us have our kids are much different due to stresses of parenting. Monthly cycle is something I haven’t paid much attention to  wing that she has an IUD, I’m not sure how that affects cycle

exactly, letting go of the stress together, massage maybe meditating together, going to watch a musical or theater play if she likes that or if she likes sports well it could also be kind of romantic to go watch some sports together, it`s not even about sweet talking so much but can be little gestures. the same way it comes out of the bedroom it goes back into it.  i would be careful with buying her anything you don`t know if she likes it, if she feels strange with the wrong things it won`t really work - if you want to buy her something nice it`s better to go with her and buy it together, she will feel more herself with that. i know the overall surprise effect would be gone and if you both are in orange that will probably work, but unless you are really safe in taste and manage to match hers it`s saving you both some money gambling on expencive stuff she might then only wear once. chances for that are high if she never wears these things. or at least figure out what she likes first, before you buy something, women are often extremely picky.
she might feel not at all the way you envision her to feel, just that about recommendations strangers give you in an online forum. four females here and everyone of them have different ideas.

Edited November 4, 2019 by remember

[Spiral]

You can't change people, no point in trying.

[Devi Shanti]

@Spiral you can't change people, but you can inspire them to changing that's the magic thing

I change myself all the time for the good of my relationship and I appreciate that my husband also does this. This is what make us grow up together.

[Leo Gura]

Inspiring people to grow is called leadership.

[Devi Shanti]

@Leo Gura yeh... But this term sounds weird for me when we are talking about a couple's relationship. How could one of both leader it? The way it works in my marriage is I follow him on what he is better than me and he follows me in what I am better then him. It's a game of mutual inspiring and following. We are both leader and follower of the other

[FuriousGeorge]

@Devi Shanti I think that is exactly how it supposed to be. We both lead where our strengths are. Me and my GF spend a lot of time way off trail in the forest, usually with a decent dose of psilocybin ? One analogy and big lesson that I have gotten is about leadership, when we are finding our way and exploring to get to a certain mountain top or lake, I lead, I problem solve our best route and keep us safe. Usually when we are heading back she leads and remembers the rout that I orientated. My strength is problem solving, on big5 I am high open, low conscientious. She is extremely conscientious so she’s paying attention to everything on the route as we pass. If heading back was up to me it would be an entirely different route and we’d have spent a lot of nights in the dark forest ?