Encouraging femininity

[FuriousGeorge]

How can you gently encourage femininity in your female partner. I am very attracted to her but I do feel a draw towards more feminine women occasionally. She is an athlete and has always competed with men. I do appreciate her tomboy aspects and that is one thing that has really drawn me to her, I’m not sure if I’m wanting the best of both worlds and if I’m being unrealistic but I’m curious to know if any of you have any experience nurturing your feminine side yourself or in your partner

[Ananta]

@FuriousGeorge So, what would make you happy? If you want her to wear lace nightie, then buy her one?

Otherwise, what are you referring to specifically? But, if you are asking for her to change who she is, then I don't think that's fair.

You wanting her to be more feminine might be like someone asking me to be more tomboy like. I'd be like, um, whattt? Uh, no.

Edited November 3, 2019 by Anna1

[Leo Gura]

I found the best way to do that is by starting in the bedroom, where even tomboyish girls want to feel girly.

In the bedroom you can literally guide her to tap into pure femininity. And then maybe from there it will spill over a bit into normal life. But still, don't expect to change her too much.

To be able to guide her properly you first need a deep personal understanding of what femininity is. Which means you need to first guide yourself to connect with your feminine side.

Psychedelics are very helpful here.

Try to have an orgasm as a woman using your mind. Then you might understand what femininity is.

Don't forget, if everything is one, femininity is a fundamental part of your being. All femininity was created by your mind. If you are a man, it is part of your shadow, an aspect of reality you have disowned so you could get it from "other".

You have not fully awakened until you have reintegrated it.

[Marcell Kovacs]

30 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Try to have an orgasm as a woman using your mind. Then you might understand what femininity is.

How do you do that? Sounds interesting.

[mandyjw]

@FuriousGeorge I'm confused, what exactly are some examples of things you think she should do to be more feminine? Do you sense that she is holding back her feminine side to protect herself or fit in or do you want her to put on an act for you? 

[Leo Gura]

22 minutes ago, Marcell Kovacs said:

How do you do that? Sounds interesting.

Use your imagination.

Reality is imaginary, after all.

[FuriousGeorge]

1 hour ago, Anna1 said:

@FuriousGeorge So, what would make you happy? If you want her to wear lace nightie, then buy her one?

 This would be a good start, and good advice. I wouldn’t ever ask her to be more feminine, I can imagine how I would react if she asked me to be more masculine! I’m talking more about nurturing it and helping her find more of it within herself. 

[FuriousGeorge]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

I found the best way to do that is by starting in the bedroom, where even tomboyish girls want to feel girly.

Great advice! She definitely is feminine in the bedroom, especially when I am more dominant. When she opens fully up to me, in all ways,  she is usually more feminine for a day or two afterwards. I have spent the last few years diving into my own feminine and that may be part of the dynamic, when I met her I was just starting to come back into my masculine, psychedelics have been a huge part of that, I suppose I need to start setting some more masculine intentions. As I’m writing this I’m realizing that my masculine has probably been too weak to make room for her feminine ??‍♂️ 

Edited November 3, 2019 by FuriousGeorge

[Ananta]

13 minutes ago, FuriousGeorge said:

 This would be a good start, and good advice. I wouldn’t ever ask her to be more feminine, I can imagine how I would react if she asked me to be more masculine! I’m talking more about nurturing it and helping her find more of it within herself. 

Ok, well, you could say something like, "sweets, your lips are beautiful, bet you'd look perfect wearing pink lipstick (or red)". Its a compliment AND a suggestion she can think about. Or, "you have sexy legs and they'd look great in heels". The suggestion is something feminine.

[mandyjw]

Being feminine has nothing to do with looks or how people see you but everything to do with how you perceive. 

[remember]

i‘m not sure about the feminine masculine polarity part to be so important, well of course that might be one aspect. but making a woman feel feminine is not only triggered by your masculinity, it’s also about how the woman herself would dive into femininity, it’s her spiritual practice to connect to her senses and body. it’s also about moods and feeling.
i suppose with more feminine we are speaking about an aura of care, softness, vulnerability, trust and mood a woman transports.
i also suppose there are differences in how „feminine“ she is depending on the time of her cycle.
taking the lead doesn’t have to be masculine.

Edited November 3, 2019 by remember

[Devi Shanti]

If you would like she to be more feminine, don't make her feel non feminine, but highlight what she already has of feminine traces. Make it clear for her that you love these things on her and make compliments using adjectives like "feminine", "gracious", "delicate" and associate them with how do you see them, like "exciting", "sensual", "sexy", "lovely". This attitude and words will transmit her this message of valuing her femininity because she will know it pleasure you. Keep in mind feminine ego is your friend in this moment. Give her gifts for her to wear what you would like to see on her. Besides this, make sure you are being enough "masculine" around her. Strong woman tent to have no difficulties on taking initiative in relationships, even when their men should be doing it. So, take initiatives, be the man of the relationship. It is much more easy and natural for a woman to be feminine when there is someone doing the man's role appropriately.

[Devi Shanti]

2 hours ago, Anna1 said:

Ok, well, you could say something like, "sweets, your lips are beautiful, bet you'd look perfect wearing pink lipstick (or red)". Its a compliment AND a suggestion she can think about. Or, "you have sexy legs and they'd look great in heels". The suggestion is something feminine.

Honestly I would not take this type of compliments in a good way... I find it intrusive. I would find it more interesting if he gave me a gift and complimented me, like giving me a lipstick and saying he imagined it would highlight my beautiful  lips that he loves so much or something like this.

[FuriousGeorge]

3 hours ago, Anna1 said:

Ok, well, you could say something like, "sweets, your lips are beautiful, bet you'd look perfect wearing pink lipstick (or red)". Its a compliment AND a suggestion she can think about. Or, "you have sexy legs and they'd look great in heels". The suggestion is something feminine.

I could definitely be better with my words, the most obvious form of encouragement ?

2 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Being feminine has nothing to do with looks or how people see you but everything to do with how you perceive. 

Fair point, I think it can be read externally though

[FuriousGeorge]

12 minutes ago, Devi Shanti said:

If you would like she to be more feminine, don't make her feel non feminine, but highlight what she already has of feminine traces. 

All excellent advice, thank you! I have reinforced what I like about her tomboy aspects probably more than her feline side. It’s harder to compliment the things that she hasn’t fully embraced within herself. I was married for 15 years and every compliment I tried was met with vitriol, either full rejection or criticism on how sincere it sounded ? I have to practice my compliment ability

[Ananta]

10 minutes ago, Devi Shanti said:

Honestly I would not take this type of compliments in a good way... I find it intrusive. I would find it more interesting if he gave me a gift and complimented me, like giving me a lipstick and saying he imagined it would highlight my beautiful  lips that he loves so much or something like this.

Everyone's different, I wouldn't have a problem with it, you would....  Thats why men find us women exhausting.

[Devi Shanti]

22 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

Everyone's different, I wouldn't have a problem with it, you would....  Thats why men find us women exhausting.

Yeh, I know.. that's why I pointed my view, for them to know we are different. It's a pity if they find us exhausting If I were a man, I would find it an amazing challenge! 

[remember]

whew, ego bells ringing.
don’t think he was talking about toxic femininity.

Edited November 4, 2019 by remember

[JustThinkingAloud]

@FuriousGeorge

I’m a tomboy girl, no point in hiding it, it shows! 

I’m trying to imagine that my partner has the same problem as you do.  I love my partner and I want him to be happy so if he suggested some ideas that aren’t criticizing my personality, I’d do it for him. I like @Anna1 ’s lace nightie idea, you just need to ask it as a big favour rather than imply any criticism. Do not expect personality change though, only we can change our personality and even then it’s bloody hard.

[FuriousGeorge]

7 hours ago, remember said:

i‘m not sure about the feminine masculine polarity part to be so important, well of course that might be one aspect. but making a woman feel feminine is not only triggered by your masculinity, it’s also about how the woman herself would dive into femininity, it’s her spiritual practice to connect to her senses and body. it’s also about moods and feeling.

I agree, I don’t think the polarity is that influential but it may make space for it. Moods definitely plays a huge role, our weekends where neither of us have our kids are much different due to stresses of parenting. Monthly cycle is something I haven’t paid much attention to  wing that she has an IUD, I’m not sure how that affects cycle