Have decided to work through my childhood emotional abuse. What works best?

[benny]

Topic

[jake473]

I would also like to know. But maybe this question is not specific enough. Have you seen this? 

 

[Ananta]

It depends, is it still continuing? 

Have you tried talking to a therapist?

Writing letters to him/her/them, then burning them? Or maybe they need sent?

Talking on a forum specific to childhood abuse?

Going no-contact with them, if necessary?

If alcohol is/was involved there are Al-Anon meetings.

[Proactive]

Is the problem that you've adopted a specific survival strategy from these experiences?

 

What i've been doing is contemplating/asking questions about myself. 

See how this survival strategy doesn't actually work anymore. Learn shadow work?

Therapy is really good, it's like contemplation except the therapist has experience about certain traps oneself could fall into.

 

idk how intense your abuse is so yeah.

 

I've recently hit a breakthrough in my ability to become authentic towards others. After like 2 years of just contemplating, and 4-5 years of working on my social anxiety. So it may take longer than you expect or I've just been really slow.

[Superfluo]

@benny

 

The first video explains one of the most powerful techniques I've encountered. It can change your life just doing it once if you do it fully. At least, it worked so well for me.

In the second video the technique is explained, but regarding positive emotions. To learn the real process, just follow the first four steps described in the second video, but focusing on negative emotions. Then follow these points:

• After experiencing the memory fully, let an entity enter the memory. This entity has the role of taking care of the inner child without judgement (this is critical) and providing him/her the love, attention, care, validation and protection he/she didn't had. The entity can be you, or an unconditionally loving figure like Jesus, an angel or someone else (use a third person entity if you feel you don't know how to manage your inner child). If the inner child needs to do externalize his/her anger or hate towards someone or something, let that entity do it for him/her. These means, in extreme cases, visualizing the entity burning a place that's associated with pain to the ground, or punching someone who hurt you in the face, stuff like that WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
• After the inner child has processed the emotion fully, ask him if he/she needs something else. Then provide it to him/her
• After the inner child has recovered from the memory and feels loved and protected, ask him if he/she wants to follow you to a place made of pure unconditional love. This place is a place you create with visualization, and it becomes your safe haven. It's the safest and most loving place you can create. If the inner child is not ready, repeat the first two points of this list
• After taking the inner child in your safe haven, provide him/her all that he/she needs.
• After that, make the inner child drink a magical water, a water specifically made to purify the inner child.
• After that, ask the inner child to merge physically with you.

This is the summary of the book, but the book is more complete and nuanced. I suggest you to buy it. It's one of the most powerful books I've ever read. And it can show results overnight.

 

Also check out these:

Yoga, meditation, psychedelics, and breathwork are also useful in dealing with traumas

Edited November 3, 2019 by Superfluo

[barcos]

@Superfluo nice job!What help!

[LeoX8]

@benny You can simply start with the intention of let go that episode. Try to remember the emotions and the pain you felt, even if it's very intense, you can still do it. Feel totaly the emotions and the feelings, at first it will be shit, but as long as you continue you will start to feel "lighter". Accept what happened, its possible and you can certanly do it, even if it seems very difficult at first. Once you have accepted them, you can decide to let them go and make the decision that they will not influence you anymore. 

It  can also help viewing the episode as a third person in the scene, an observator, and really try to find a lesson in there. There's a lesson in everything, and you have been through hell to get that, you really own it. 

Also on YouTube you can find videos on the topic and some of them are really powerful. 

I hope that this has helped <3

[studentofthegame]

I'm working on my childhood traumas via a psychoanalytical based therapist, journaling, and books:

Homecoming - bradshaw

The tao of fully feeling - walker

There are several other books on the subject i plan to work through, but these are what i am focusing on for now.