Meditation: connecting the dots. Depression, sorrow and despair.

[The Don]

Hello.

As I'm becoming better at meditation, I experience lots of negative emotions. Lots of mood swings. It's normal. It is part of the course.

A few days ago I was extremely depressed; it felt like being in a state of desperation. It's that feeling of despair.

Now I'm OK. Those feelings are gone. They may come back from time to time just like visitors and as long as I'm okay with that, everything is fine.

I'm not elaborating on this topic to discourage you. I just wanna tell my story because I'm connecting the dots and I'm starting to see what I've never been able to see before. In part, thanks to meditation.

I finally understand why I'm experiencing these mood swings and negative emotions.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mother was extremely cold, which is called lack of parental love. She never hugged me. She never encouraged me.

My father grew up without a father and he had problems with anger. He was a heavy drinker. Beatings, anger, rage, punishment and so forth...

As a child I started to develop mechanisms to cope with what I've been going through. I was suppressing my negative emotions. I've been doing that all my life. And now, those negative feelings come up again as I'm meditating on a daily basis.

It makes sense.

For those people who went through difficult times and are experiencing mood swings on this path, I wanna encourage you to connect the dots and find out the source of your negative emotions as they come up.

Be mindful of the process.

The good news is that you can change your brain chemistry for happiness if you learn how to deal with whatever bubbles up from your subconscious mind.

It takes time but it is worth it.

Connect the dots.

[Nahm]

Great work Don. Really great. 

[Nickyy]

24 minutes ago, The Don said:

As a child I started to develop mechanisms to cope with what I've been going through. I was suppressing my negative emotions. I've been doing that all my life. And now, those negative feelings come up again as I'm meditating on a daily basis.

Yeah, that's the formation of the ego, the adaptation to events rather than just allowing your feelings to be there and naturally grow and develop. Nice that you're not attached to the adaptation nor the emotions. That awareness and non attachment will heal your mind and the ego will just eventually go away because it's not needed anymore