Narcissism

[jes]

please someone help me ,what affirmations can be used to get rid of my toxic father 

[Isle of View]

You want to curse him?

How old are you?

How dependent are you on him? Are you living with him?

In order to select or formulate a working affirmation it is important to know more about your relation to him.

 

Chris

[Natasha]

@jes This is a great channel to learn more about narcissism. He had a narc dad too. Hugs

 

[vizual]

Grow up and make the effort to give your dad a hug everyday. He's your dad, you only get one in this lifetime. Sure he may be a dick, just as you are probably a snotty brat just as much but you are still related. Make the best out of it. Even if you don't like him, you can still respect him, even if his actions are misguided. No one is perfect, everyone struggles in their lives. If you should have one persons back in this world, it's your family members backs. A better world begins with you, and judging your dad as toxic is not helping. 

I'm pretty sure underneath all that resentment there is still some love there. Even if you have to go years back to find it. Once, there was love for your father, and your father loved you. Find your way back to that love man, life is too short to stay hung up on this petty bullshit.

[Corte]

Short-term impulse decision= an easy temporary solution that makes things worse long-term. Everything bad comes from this route. (Example: "getting rid" of him, disowning, fighting, breaking ties)

emotionally difficult acceptance and love as @vizual describes = a long-term benefit / solution which is hard in the beginning but worth it no matter what. Nothing bad can come from this route. (Example: deep conversation, understanding, effort) 

Just one way to see it. What would you rather? Short or long term solution? 

[30secs]

@jes

have a 'heart to heart' talk with your father..haha. I know it's hard, because your not get used to it, but watch Leo's video how to funny, it's a good  technique to get rid the shyness and discomfort during your conversation.

[jes]

@Isle of View I don't want curse him, I am financially dependent on him, He is creating obstacles for me, force to get married .He mentally abuse me , taunt me for money he provides, I can make money , I want to cut him out of life , I am 25

[jes]

@Natasha Thanks Natasha 

[jes]

@vizual Life is too short to live under toxic people

[jes]

@Corte how about when its other way around, getting rid of him is emotionally difficult then ? I am not financially dependent, and he knows it , so he is trying to control and want me to become his puppet always , or puppet of another man like him

[Donald]

First be aware that your mind/self will always find faults in other rather than itself . It means that you are part of the problem !!!

Consider that maybe your father is loving towards you , but maybe his approach is kinda different. 

Consider that giving  (support) in the wrong time is as much damaging as not giving in the right time . 

 

[jes]

@30secs if I will do funny talk with him, he will label me, are you insane 

[jes]

@Donald I have diagnosed him as Narcissistic personality disorder not as daughter but as medical student , I was typical codependent , then a bookopened my eyes, I develop GAD ,and depression , I am not perfect , I have faults . I dont wan to live like victim and i dont want to indulge in someone else drama too.His fake behavior and dramas are clear , so I would be fool if I still trust man like him who deceive my mom and left me when i was 3 only , and remarried ,but he was trying to manipulate the world around me and my Mom. 

[Isle of View]

1 hour ago, jes said:

@Isle of View I don't want curse him, I am financially dependent on him, He is creating obstacles for me, force to get married .He mentally abuse me , taunt me for money he provides, I can make money , I want to cut him out of life , I am 25

Thanks.

It is you "can make money" or you "can't make money"?

If you can, make a plan to relieve yourself as soon as possible from any remaining co-dependence with your dad. And work on the plan. Write daily Journals, let your toughts go, write them down.  (Read this book if you can: The Artist's Way).

You can also run a little inquiry process:

Quote

Fill the blank with "your father" or your fathers forename (whichever fits best) and run:
 

1. “What has __________ done to you?”
2. “What have you done to ___________ ?”
3. “What has ____________ restrained or withheld from you?”
4. “What have you restrained or withheld from ____________ ?”
5. “Because of ____________ what have you done to yourself?”
6. “Because of you what has ____________ done to itself?”
7. “Because of _____________ what have you restrained or withheld about yourself?”
8. “Because of you what has _____________ restrained or withheld about itself?”

Repeat 1-8 over and over again until you have more insight, feel lighter and better.
This process will help you to free lots of attention that is conflicted in your relationship with your father.

Use paper to write down your answers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1, 2 ...). Take your time. Don't rush. 
If you have any questions, let me know. :-)

Kind regards, 
Chris

Edited May 27, 2016 by Isle of View

[jes]

@Isle of View Thankyou , I will definitely answer these questions and I will share with you

[Isle of View]

41 minutes ago, jes said:

@Isle of View Thankyou , I will definitely answer these questions and I will share with you

No no, don't answer here in the open forum these questions.

Just do your inquiry for yourself.

Though, of course you can write me a PM if you like to.

 

Kind regards, 
Chris

[jes]

1 hour ago, Isle of View said:

No no, don't answer here in the open forum these questions.

Just do your inquiry for yourself.

Though, of course you can write me a PM if you like to.

 

Kind regards, 
Chris

i will PM you 

Thanks 

[jes]

3 hours ago, Isle of View said:

Thanks.

It is you "can make money" or you "can't make money"?

If you can, make a plan to relieve yourself as soon as possible from any remaining co-dependence with your dad. And work on the plan. Write daily Journals, let your toughts go, write them down.  (Read this book if you can: The Artist's Way).

You can also run a little inquiry process:

Use paper to write down your answers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1, 2 ...). Take your time. Don't rush. 
If you have any questions, let me know. :-)

Kind regards, 
Chris

Hi , can I get  The Artist's way ebook please 

Thanks

[Natasha]

@jes You're making the right decision by setting personal boundaries with your toxic Dad . No one has the right to control or own you, but yourself. I know it's hard, been there. Feel free to PM me any time. Hugs 

[Ayla]

@jes

This is a VERY complex topic but to resume it - from personal experience and studying it in depth for a while now, consider this: 

1. Cut off any type of communication with your dad. Bluntly, abruptly and with no explanation! (none will work)
2. work on profound healing on yourself (self-esteem, boundaries, co-dependency)
3. work on radical forgiveness for your dad (ho'oponopono or tonglen or any other type of technique you can find out there) - Hint - when you have forgiven truly, the thought and image of your father will only bring tears of love and joy. ( now you might absolutely LOVE fire, but you wouldn't throw yourself into it, would you?)
4. if you feel the need AFTER the first 3 points, get back in "limited contact" where you can say STOP at any given time.