Yesterday my father had almost beaten me up

[LucyKid]

Well it's been a series up events coming up each after another, I've already created a post sharing this but I haven't done anything yet. His outrages have reached another levels. Two days ago he told me that he wants to kill himself and that he finds life meaningless, so I listened and talked with him and spent my time trying to be as nice as I can get to understand what's going on. The next day, I smoked some really good indica with my amazing wooden pipe which has been through all, even changa two days ago. 
Anyway, I had a rough 5 months of continuous studying, and in the last remaining 7 days of vacation that I had, I had decided to smoke weed. I was so high, I could barely form words, but I was fairly conscious of what was going on around me. My father doesn't understand shit, thinks that the whole range of experiences in the world revolves around him, so he can't even relate to what's going on with me, he thinks that I am a narcotic fuck or something. Anyway, I am petting my dog, so he asks me to go to my room and never leave again because he doesn't want to see me and talk to me. 1 Minute after that he breaks in my rook, starts throwing chairs around, veins popping out of his forehead because of anger and blood,  and he is threatening to take my life (It's recorded, I've been recording him for over a year now). Said things like he can shatter my skull, break my bones, kill me, and how close he was to do it. He broke my pipe, which was very significant for me, I've formed a connection with it, kind of still digesting the fact that it is gone after all it's been through with me. 

Now there is another part of the story:
I have asperger's syndrome (Not that I actually have it, just an observation of some psychiatrist) and I am 19yo so I am considered 100% emotionally and mentally disabled in my country. I am afraid that he can use it to his advantage and actually close me in some kind of asylum, like he had said. Plus he has full permission to my bank account, so every small step I make, he sees it. I can't use money, even if it's mine, basically, otherwise he's gonna ask questions and occasionally ourage. I have no privacy in life, I can't smoke weed anymore because I am getting certain "Rules" at home that if I'll not obey I'll be sent to some asylum. He also threatens me with the police, with death threats, whatever. Leaving home is such a difficult option because I don't know how I'll manage to deal with 2 bachelor's degrees am I doing right now.  He pays for them, but I repay with my soul and mental being. 

Sorry for feeding you guys up with a story, 

[Harikrishnan]

Wow...You are considered  100% emotionaly and mentally disabled and still studying 2 bachelor degrees.  

For rest of it, since you cant move away from father its better u stay away from pot. 

[LucyKid]

12 minutes ago, Harikrishnan said:

Wow...You are considered  100% emotionaly and mentally disabled and still studying 2 bachelor degrees.  

For rest of it, since you cant move away from father its better u stay away from pot. 

Well I am trying my best. I am not actually emotionally and mentally disabled, if you were to meet me in person you'd probably say quite the opposite. It's just the system is so stupid and I am so "not normal" by their means that I am an autistic person by their definitions.

It's not about pot, it's about everything. Sometimes he outrages at me when I use pillows to meditate, sometimes he outrages at me when I am hungry because he hasn't fed us well and I want to eat something else. The list continues. I know that being at home is the better financial option, but life-wise it's the worst. It's some kind of slow suffocation. It's not that he wants me to pursue success (His definition of success obviously), but he actually requires it of me, creating some kind of slave out of me.

[Aeris]

Give him 300u LSD 

Hard situation.

I'll think and come back.

I would avoid living with this father and go to social authority.

There is life threat it's serious and he is the one that should be in Asylum.

Maybe this ain't serious.

School' is trash dogma anyway fuck his monney

Edited October 26, 2019 by Aeris

[okulele]

Sounds really tough. Don't settle for this, it could even be dangerous. Maybe you could ask your school for scholarship explaining your situation? Is there anyone else who could help?

[Richard Alpert]

You need to fucking leave at all cost.

Does your mother live in the same house? Do you have any relatives where you can go?

[ivory]

Wow tough situation. If I were you I'd try to find a way out. What if you were to drop one of your degrees? Would that make things more manageable for you? By the way, what are you studying?

Edited October 27, 2019 by ivory

[Ry4n]

I would take all those recordings you have straight to the police immediately. And any pictures you may have taken of anything in the house he has broken. That should say enough.