How Do You Deal With A Demanding Micromanaging Boss?

[Natalya]

How do you deal with a demanding control freak that happens to be your new boss (she got hired 3 months ago as a replacement for the previous manager). Quitting is not an option, HR and her boss are not interested in personality issues. I've already reached out to them. What techniques would you recommend for avoiding conflict and emotional distress?

[Natasha]

@Natalya Also, check out other YouTube material on narcissists in the workplace, very informative and insightful. Hugs

 

[Corte]

Hey @Natalya , I have some similar experience unfortunately! I have a few tips that might be obvious but I'll share.

• Never give her an excuse to put you on her bad side • Always do good/honest work to gain respect/trust • Understand you'll never be able to change her, you can only change yourself • Understand the struggles she deals with on a daily basis and try to understand the basis for her behavior on a deeper level • Never take anything too personally • Maintain a peacefulness within as often as you can 

Be a good worker, be a better person, simply give no reason to be treated poorly. Accept what is and do what you can to improve it. 

[Mal]

@Natalya

Hi Natalya 

This is indeed a tricky situation. I have been in this position myself, my trade is notorious for promoting narcissistic characters into positions that they are incapable of really performing well in.  If you haven't already, and would like a deeper understanding of the management mindset that is currently pervading our business world,  I invite you to research the "Peter Principle".  This will broaden your outlook into why our current economic and political worldview seems to breed narcissists like cattle and promote them into positions of power.

With regards to your immediate connundrum, even the endeavour of starting our own buisness and the dream of being our own boss unfortunately doesn't quite "butter the parsnips".

It's a fact of life that were always destined to run into certain characters that seem to possess this extraordinary talent of being able to "rub us up" the wrong way.... until that is, we learn to deal with our own internal issues.  

The only way I know of how to effectively deal with the all pervasive problem of "other people" (which is not in any danger of resolving itself anytime in the near or distant future) is by working on "oneself".

After all the theories and techniques we are currently bombarded with on social media and endless publications full of the next glut of ultimately useless ways to deal with "narcissists" and "sociopaths" have illuminated themselves for what they really are: merely more narcissistic and mindless concepts and techniques that have little or no real use other than to further feed the unhappiness and ego identification in us, enhances the feeling of separation and alienation and ultimately entrenches us in the dream even more...

...what's left other than to turn inside and ask ourselves "what is in ME that loves this misery so much? What is it in ME that feels the need to take this position against the object of our percieved misery?"

Until we can learn to see that the real problem lies inside us, we will always be destined to seek the ever elusive answer outside of ourselves. What a disempowering attitude this really is!

Until then,

Happy reading!

-Mal

Edited May 26, 2016 by Mal