Being vs deficiency cognition

[aklacor727]

To those of you that live mostly from Being perception or cognition, how does that look or feel in instances when someone close to you is struggling and comes to you for support.

You see their self deceptions, ego, projections, denial, blame, shadow, etc... if you are in full acceptance of that,  how does this translate to action, in terms of helping them in a healthy way. My friend has been putting alot of blame outwards and resisting looking inwards. I see others kind of strengthening her self deception and ego in a way that it further puts blame outwards. I haven't had much to say recently because I don't want to feed into those deceptions, but I do also want to be supportive.

I also figure this can be a way that I can practice and further embody "being perception." I don't really feel myself "needing" her to be different or change,  but I do of course desire happiness for her.

[Freedomesong]

It is a wonderful trap to love others enough to want them to be better, your version of better of course. Pain is a great persuader of others. I am willing to allow others to suffer as much as they want. The more the better for those who are not awake. It will eventually get to a boiling point within them and force a change from within. 

I try to be a positive influence by just being happy. My life is full of joy and it shows. People, after a while, wonder why I am always so fucking happy when they are always so confused and pissy. They come around, eventually. We all compare our lives to others, if you are living life in a way that shows some joy, and positive direction, people will notice and some will eventually get up the courage to ask you about it.

When others ask for my advice, I always say this "what would love do now?" If love was a human and sitting here, what would it do? and offer them a path that follows that idea. It is easy to make people believe that nothing comes from fear thinking, nothing good at least. And everything in their life that is good came from thoughts of love. Redirect them down this path. When they start up with ego ideas that come from fear, I just point it out, "you are thinking from a position of fear, how do you think that can help you?" "What would love do instead if it was sitting here now?"

 

Play well my friend

David 

[Sahil Pandit]

@aklacor727 Being cognition has it's needs met, so there is nothing to "take away" from it.

Be open with your friend, support them, but don't take on their burdens as your own. Everyone has their own demons and baggage to work through...

You deserve to protect your energy from being drained. 

[Aeris]

4 hours ago, aklacor727 said:

To those of you that live mostly from Being perception or cognition, how does that look or feel in instances when someone close to you is struggling and comes to you for support.

You see their self deceptions, ego, projections, denial, blame, shadow, etc... if you are in full acceptance of that,  how does this translate to action, in terms of helping them in a healthy way. My friend has been putting alot of blame outwards and resisting looking inwards. I see others kind of strengthening her self deception and ego in a way that it further puts blame outwards. I haven't had much to say recently because I don't want to feed into those deceptions, but I do also want to be supportive.

I also figure this can be a way that I can practice and further embody "being perception." I don't really feel myself "needing" her to be different or change,  but I do of course desire happiness for her.

focus on talking about you, talk so much about how you cure yourself than the idea will enter his/ her mind.
imagine that you're yourself, but never talk directly to the ego as "wrong/bad" their will be resistance and block.

Don't say, do, or should, or only for yourself.

 

like I want people to self reflect on their tastes.

I'll never mention it, what I'll do is emphasise every moment within myself that will help the one looking at me mirroring itself.

the thing is becoming a mirror.

Like when I want to see people correct their mistakes, and are too stupid to self reflect, I'll abuse at the next situation to show "why I was stupid"
 

by pointing at me as stupid, some people will self reflect, of course it doesn't work for low orange and under. This work at a high orange/green level, someone who already understand there is a bit more than his narrowed perspective.

 

In fact what I do is putting a finger on my own devilry, to makes them " ha ha but me too I do that :! "

[LastThursday]

I don't think that you can ever really help people.  The best you can do is to encourage people to investigate for themselves how to cure their own unhappiness.

I can bet that any type of help you're thinking of is only about temporarily alleviating the symptoms of suffering.  That's things like giving money to a homeless person or sitting and listening to a friend tell you their troubles.

Most people's problems are systemic. In other words they're rarely simple; the more you dig, the more you find, until eventually you realise it involves their entire identity and history. You realise for yourself you can't fix it all for them. You are not them.

Further, helping in this way is a problem for you. To be able help someone you have to embody their problems to some extent. And as soon as you do that, you start suffering. Empathy is suffering. It may be minor and manageable, but it's still suffering.

So in my experience be gentle to yourself. I try and do the following:

• Help as much as you're prepared to give in terms of time and emotional commitment. If it gets too much, then help less, or not at all, or leave it to others (or professionals). Your own wellbeing is just as important as theirs.
• Realise that any help you give is only going to be a temporary fix.
• Be informative and suggest that there are ways to improve their wellbeing, but that they will have to do it for themselves. In fact, embody those ways yourself. The best way to show people how to change is by example not by instruction.

 

 

Edited October 23, 2019 by LastThursday