Balancing Actualization And "fun"

[dzenun]

I've been doing personal development work since about April of last year. Throughout this time, I've often struggled with a somewhat odd problem: 

I feel guilty whenever I do anything not directly related to my personal growth

Although my constant desire to better myself has not directly created an improvement in my grades, It has helped to evolve my sense of self-discipline. Although this has led to general improvement in my productivity, a constant feeling of guilt that arrives when I even contemplate "relaxing" (i.e. using my gaming PC, building a Magic: the Gathering deck, anything other than what most consider work) has created a double-edged sword.

Essentially, when I gain any amount of free time, I tend to use it to figure out the most efficient activity for personal growth I can do with my time; I then proceed to work on said task. 

I still have trouble answering this question: "Is every activity that doesn't work towards a personal development goal a waste of time?". Is this mentality that should be adopted by actualized people in order to truly live up to their potential?  

 

Edited May 25, 2016 by dzenun

[beckycox]

Sometimes quality not quantity is key with obtaining knowledge.  You need to give yourself time to relax, you'll learn better and faster when you do apply yourself if you do. Remember your brain is like a muscle, it needs rest sometimes like everything else.

You could set yourself 'on' and 'off' times. I set a certain number of hours in my day for reading/studying etc, and then a certain number of hours a day to relax. That way I don't feel like I'm slacking because I know I've done my bit for the day!

 

Your journey will be more enjoyable if you're your own best friend, rather than if you're your own taskmaster!

Edited May 25, 2016 by beckycox
Addition!

[vizual]

Stephen Covey calls it 'sharpening the saw' in his books. Basically, if you do focus too much on a thing you are going to get burned out on it. It's important to have a passion and a goal to work toward, but if you can't let it go for a while you are actually holding yourself back. Because, in the long run you are going to resent doing those activities, you are going to resent the activities related to personal development. Just like in a relationship, if you are 24 hours a day around your partner you are probably going to end up resenting each other, or at least the passionate love is going to die down. There always needs to be a bit of breathing space to keep that sense of wonder going. If you want to reach your goals, yes, there is always going to be the gritty work with maybe some grinding labour involved. But on the other hand, to truly reach its potential there also has to be this love and passion involved if you truly want to transcend averageness. 

If you want to get the most out of your personal development there also has to come a time where you can let go and disengage, because you know you will get back to it later. Only if you don't trust yourself you have to force yourself, because you might think that you will be too lazy or whatever to later go back to it. If you indeed feel a certain laziness in your mental space that's actually a good time to put some mindfulness to these feelings. 

 

[ChimpBrain]

I would feel guilty too about spending my free time doing something like playing video games or watching TV.  I would not feel guilty about using it for things that don't involve self actualization work though as long as they were productive by some other standard. For instance taking my mom to lunch, going for a hike, going to the gym,  taking my daughter to the park, taking my wife to dinner, reading an educational book, cooking a healthy meal, etc, etc. 

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

Then you should probably feel guilty about learning to accept yourself instead of feeling guilty.

[ayura]

I work hard, and enjoy socialising with friends, which usually involves a couple of bottles of wine, and a good chin wag, so to speak. I have been working on self development for a number of years, but have only felt 'awakened' shall we say, for about 3 years, and only making time to take it more seriously, in the last year. Can there be a balance in the socialising and wine activity, with effective self actualization ?