Mental suffering is an invitation, so pay attention to how you feel

[mandyjw]

There's one way to define meditation, it's the way Abraham Hicks suggests when she says "pay attention to how you feel". There are a lot of layers to how deep this pointer goes. 

We often get confused and think there is a pay off for suffering, but mental suffering is desire to go through a wall and the door through that wall is going into feeling, sensations and out of thought. 

Example: I made a mistake that cost me money, and I think of it in the middle of the night. I feel bad. If I was aware of the way my stomach contracted just then, I could just be that and feel that energy. If I'm not aware I continue to feel bad. The thought made me feel bad so I stay within the realm of thought and seek my solution for feeling better there. "It's really the contractor's fault, not mine. He wasn't paying attention." I'm using thought and stories to make myself feel slightly better. It feels better to blame someone else than to blame myself. If I'm completely unconscious I let the blame erode my relationship with this person in the future, and cause this situation to replay and replay again. If I'm somewhat conscious, if I'm trying to become a better person I notice that I just blamed another and I go back to feeling bad about myself again, perhaps this time I'm feeling bad about my level of consciousness, rather than the initial mistake. While my desire to do better in the future is powerful, I have again in this moment missed the invitation the suffering presented. 

Train yourself to notice at all times how you're feeling. Whenever you notice suffering go into your breath, your body, sensations, the present moment. Look around the room. All these are pointing to the same thing, the same non-action. Beating yourself up for not being conscious is the same seeking thought and continuation of suffering. 

You might notice that suffering seems to be key in this work. You might notice that cold showers force you to go into sensations. You might read about monks who do crazy things to induce consciousness through pain, you might read about Eckhart Tolle awakening from a severe suicidal depression. 

Suffering is an opportunity. The level of suffering or the time you spend suffering means absolutely nothing, it's only that high amounts of suffering cannot be ignored, that invitation can't be missed. Your sensitivity and awareness is everything. Low level suffering, annoyance, overwhelmed feelings, malaise, all of them are powerful invitations. 

You do not have to suffer. Sound too good to be true? Then find out what truth is outside of thought. 

 

 

 

 

[oMarcos]

"Beating yourself up for not being conscious is the same seeking thought and continuation of suffering. "

 

I really needed to read something like this, thank you.

I could also say that is very important to stay vulnerable to our suffering instead of fighting against it or to pretend to be "strong", very counter-intuitive work. 

[mandyjw]

2 hours ago, oMarcos said:

I could also say that is very important to stay vulnerable to our suffering instead of fighting against it or to pretend to be "strong", very counter-intuitive work. 

DEFINITELY. It can feel like the most intense vulnerability but also like embracing and letting go at the same time.  

I think it helps to remember that the spiritual ego, or rather our thoughts about spirituality have two different forms,

A. It complains that other people aren't spiritual enough, and or feel goods about itself for being above others.

B. It beat itself up for not living up to its lofty expectations. 

There's a subtle difference between awareness and punishing ourselves. For example say you are trying to house train a puppy. If you aren't paying any attention to the puppy at all, not giving it opportunities to go out, and letting it have the run of the house unsupervised, are you going to rub its nose in it when it has accident? Or are you going to recognize that you weren't paying enough attention? Of course, you can do either, but one option builds your bond with the puppy and the other breaks it down. 

 

Edited October 23, 2019 by mandyjw