Please help, frightening kundalini awakening

[waking_dreams]

@cetus56 Hey there, I tagged you because you're the mod who saw my spongebob thread yesterday about the dangers of spiritual work. 

I had a very frightening experience tonight, may have awakened my kundalini and then i realized I am not ready for this at all. I am asking for any pointers or guidance that you or anyone here may have on how to put a lid on it.

Here are the things that I am doing to put a lid on it:

• Grounding myself in my sense of physicality and materiality
• Connecting to the things that make me who I am as an individual

Here are the list of things that I was doing that got me into this situation (these are the things that I will stop doing effectively immediately):

• Micro dosing (10ug of 1P-LSD) once every 3 days for almost a month now.
• Self-inquiry, specifically pointing the finger at the self
• Meditation, attempting to observe the observation
• Kriya yoga breathing during meditation, only for the last couple days
• Noticing the dream-like nature of my direct experience
• Questioning and poking at the nature of reality in general
• Sometimes in the morning I do bio-energetic wake up routine which involves slapping the surfaces of the body to wake up the nervous system for the day. This includes one point referred to as the jade pillow which involves simultaneously slapping the forehead and the back of the head when it's "done right" I can feel energy shoot down my spine from where I slapped the back of my head.

In hindsight it feels like I was really dumb messing with stuff I was not ready for. Just like Leo said in his last video, I have to ask myself if I really want to give up the self and the honest answer is no, I am not ready to do that. My concern is that I triggered something that I don't have the skills or desire to follow through on. Again I am stopping all the activities that contributed to this happening in the hopes that my energy will calm down and be able to regulate itself properly again. I am not convinced that I have a full kundalini awakening though I can't be sure as this has never happened to me before.

Can anyone offer advice? Thank you so much.

Edited October 23, 2019 by waking_dreams

[LucyKid]

Who's the one afraid to give up the self? What is there you are so afraid to leave behind? Family? Friends? Career? Won't permanent happiness and healthiness be a better trade? 

Edited October 23, 2019 by LucyKid

[Michael Paul]

@waking_dreams Did you read my thread called “A warning to those pursuing Kundalini”? In it I address some aspects of kundalini awakening, but I’ll go into a little more detail here. 
 

So from what I can tell you’re at least having a legitimate energetic arousal. A total kundalini awakening is different from kundalini arousal. If you had a total awakening, the energy would have entirely left the bottom of the spine, traveled up the spine into the brain and top of the head, and come to rest there permanently. You would feel pressure and energy circulating at the third eye and crown chakras, as well as the sensation of the energy encasing your entire brain. Let me ask you, do you experience this exact phenomenon now? If not, you had a kundalini arousal that will dissipate. This does not mean, however, that you won’t have some symptoms of an actual awakening during arousal. 
 

I recommend holding off on psychedelics (even microdosing) and stopping all practice for the time being to allow yourself to integrate the experience. What happened to you is not a bad thing, in fact quite the contrary - it’s a sign of spiritual and consciousness evolution. 
 

Feel free to ask more questions here or PM me. I do recommend reading the thread I started a few days ago on kundalini, though.

[khalifa]

@waking_dreams

hey bud don't worry too much

wee aren't the first ones or the last ones that may walk this phase it's just another experience/phase of life

i'm pretty much going through a similar experience like yours, i just try to ground myself by saying "it shall pass" at tough moments , it's just a temporary phase we're going through rest assured you'll be fine but it'll be a rollercoaster most likely, everyone's experience is different there is no one way fit size answer for all of us since we come from different variables of perspectives

experiment and see what works for you try a mantra like "it shall pass" or something you are more comfortable with to ground yourself/sanity at tough moments

just do the stuff you used to like doing before all this stuff, even if it were unconscious find something you enjoy doing

exercise take walks or jog/runs, hang out with people you like, family, relax in a park, maybe go to a beach if you live near by one i find walking on shore/sand feels really nice in grounding myself there, maybe even play video games or watch movies if you can handle it (for me it took me awhile since i was able to since i was just too sensitive to a lot of content that it would disturb me easily)

and don't freak out if you get any new symptoms or sensations since they shall pass too

as for dealing with possible new arising kundulini symptons

for example, last night i've just got a new symptom out of no where, like my heads been vibrating nonstop since last night/heart started clenching in pain from time to time ( this actually has become so common it comes and goes it doesn't bother me as it used to) , but i'm still alive survived the night, so rest assured to yourself in any touch moment you face it'll be over eventually, try to drop worrying too much, since most people obsess about the phase their in that it may last forever when it will not, they make it difficult for themselves to heal up (i ceraintly am making it hard for myself but then again instinct is hard to avoid at times, so surrounding yourself with positive vibes/talks/good people may help dramatically depending on your personality of course )

sometimes i wonder if this is all really true or just some damaged nervous system/placebo beliefs/nonsense making me feel all this strange sensations about my experience

good luck brother stay strong, the body/soul will heal itself give it time, take care of yourself

 

Edited October 23, 2019 by khalifa
fixed some grammar didn't realize how sleep deprived is messing me up with all sorts of typos

[cetus]

@waking_dreams That's quite an aggressive practice you have there for sure. Leo mentions in his new video about tailoring a practice to what you can handle. And only you know what is right for you. Not saying you need to stop all practice but maybe dialing it back a bit and finding that sweet spot. Not too hot, Not too cold.  Just right.

[Red-White-Light]

@waking_dreams Maybe smack harder, it works for my tv.

[waking_dreams]

@Michael Paul I didn't read your thread last night as I was too distressed, but I read it just now and it gave some perspective. I followed the link you gave to lovebliss.eu/kundalini and what I read there makes me think the energy was absorbed at a blockage at the 3rd knot at the base of the skull. While the energy was very intense, I didn't feel orgasmic bliss, more like a trance-like disorientation similar to a fainting feeling but with a metaphysical flavor to it. My heart has really begun to open this year, so the kundalini seems to have had little trouble passing up through the heart towards the brain. When this happened, I was holding on for dear life. 
You asked if I feel kundalini awakening symptoms in the head now and the answer is no. At worst, there is a slight dull pressure left over at the base of my skull/highest vertebra and a slight ringing in my ears (maybe just tinitus, but the ringing became very intense during the 2 waves of my experience last night.) 
I'll take my foot off the gas completely for a while to integrate the experience and find stability again. Thanks so much for reaching out, I'll send you a DM if something serious happens regarding all this. 

@khalifa Hey man, thanks for your kind words and describing your experience. You're right, I'm going to do my best to not worry. No matter what happens, it helps to know that "This too shall pass." Just like you suggested, I decided to spend time over the next few days grounding myself by connecting to the people and things that I love and that make me feel like who I am. Good luck on your path, you got this!

@cetus56 Thanks, this is sage advice. Sometimes, any amount of a thing is too much and that may be where I am for now. But I'm going to be more gentle with the work going forward, and I'm looking forward to shorter daily meditations as the first thing that I pick up when I feel I'm ready again. Hopefully that will be soon. 

@Red-White-Light As it turns out, Kundalini works just like the jukebox in Happy Days. All it needs is a good hard slap to get going! 

Thanks again everyone, this was quite the challenging experience and I'm so grateful for everyone's assistance.

Edited October 23, 2019 by waking_dreams

[ADD]

Trust the process ?♥️