General Faq : Pickup/dating

[kalter000]

@Lynnel I feel you, bro  RSD forum is cancer nowadays, with threads like "sticking point: homosexuality" and "Anyone else surprised to see Brad acting like a horse?" and stuff.

Still visiting it sometimes for lulz =)

[Guest]

Energy attracts similar energy: if you're cold approaching females, you'll get what you attract because this approach is inauthentic and cannot be sustainable in the long term (for you or the female).

I am a female who studied psychology in college and in my Master's degree, so this approach never fully hooked me to men practicing pick up as I'd intuit what the male is presenting as inauthentic (or heart-wise "feels" empty and directionless to me).  Just a neutral observation. When you are inauthentic to a human being you cannot fake interest or quality connectivity with a woman. The higher conscious females will see your pick up as a red flag and be energetically repelled, or simply not respond and ignore and redirect to non-pick up males. Likewise, females of lower conscious will respond, because you both are on the same level - similar energies attracting each other. You will get what you give out, my friend. Be well and Namaste.

 

[Niki]

I agree that a woman can feel if something is inauthentic. That's what I felt with every guy I met who is into pickup. It's like he is an event in my life, but it's a "fake" emotion that he woke up in a way, you do feel that he is talking to your lower conscious, you can tell there is something off and there is this red flag that arises. Don't really know how to explain it well, but yes a woman can sense that.

Also a person can be inauthentic, but I don't think there is such thing as inauthentic approach. I don't think there is anything wrong about cold approaching in general.

[Lynnel]

@Scarlett_A

12 hours ago, Scarlett_A said:

Energy attracts similar energy: if you're cold approaching females, you'll get what you attract because this approach is inauthentic and cannot be sustainable in the long term (for you or the female).

I am a female who studied psychology in college and in my Master's degree, so this approach never fully hooked me to men practicing pick up as I'd intuit what the male is presenting as inauthentic (or heart-wise "feels" empty and directionless to me).  Just a neutral observation. When you are inauthentic to a human being you cannot fake interest or quality connectivity with a woman. The higher conscious females will see your pick up as a red flag and be energetically repelled, or simply not respond and ignore and redirect to non-pick up males. Likewise, females of lower conscious will respond, because you both are on the same level - similar energies attracting each other. You will get what you give out, my friend. Be well and Namaste.

 

HOLD the horses : COLD approach doesn't mean that when you go talk to someone you're  COLD and HEARTHLESS to them.

It means that you are trying to initiate contact with a stranger.

The modern version ( quote on quote high consciousness even ? ) of the definition of pick up is " Endless process which thrives to make you as attractive as possible and "getting" women as a byproduct of that process ".

You have to learn to convey your personnality and SOMETIMES you will sound fake or seem unauthentic only because you have to learn new behaviours.
The goal is to be able to express yourself freely and be love for who you are, so it's the opposite of authenticity. 

[JSeuss]

Hey @Lynnel  

Is there any high-quality pickup resources you'd suggest me look into?
& Is 'RSD' worth studying in depth, in your opinion? 

 

Edited February 12, 2016 by JSeuss
because I can.

[Rita]

@Rares what does that mean? can you elaborate?

[Lynnel]

@JSeuss

On 12/2/2016 at 2:00 AM, JSeuss said:

Hey @Lynnel  

Is there any high-quality pickup resources you'd suggest me look into?
& Is 'RSD' worth studying in depth, in your opinion? 

 

@cena655

Yes : 
- Shift by RSD Julien for the blueprint of learning pick up

- PIMP by the same guy for learning what to do exactly

=> Gives you more than enough information to start

Once you have some degree of experience, watch the RSD blueprint, it helps with social conditionning and such. + The hotseat at home should be insane.

I've studied RSD in some depth, because I loove tyler and I can relate very well with him, and all of his youtube videos helped me understand a lot.

In terms of other ressources, well, you have to select content based on your experience. You have to indetify what you struggle with while doing pick-up, and look up content for that only. Simply if you are unsure whether something (product, coach, video) is quote on quote good or not ( because well let's not lie, people are sometimes full of shit) stick with RSD, it got the most effective and sophisticated concepts. But after some time with enough experience, you'll see immediatly whether what's been said is retarded or not and then you should look into any materials available to extract the most useful data possible #scientificapproach

 

Edited February 13, 2016 by Lynnel

[Niki]

@Lynnel does learning PU get a guy better in relationships as well? Can all the concepts be applied there as well or not? I always wondered that.

[Lynnel]

18 hours ago, Niki said:

@Lynnel does learning PU get a guy better in relationships as well? Can all the concepts be applied there as well or not? I always wondered that.

@Niki Of course. You will upgrade yourself endlessly attracting more high value people. You will also learn to communicate better, and most importantly for relationships, build it in a NON-needy, WIN-WIN way, which unless you've done QUITE some work on yourself will never happen. Most of the concepts are either to upgrade yourself or to be able to have a better experience with someone else, so yes it helps quite a lot

[Will]

Oh, i have soo many questions..

When I go in cold I used to think of going in state pumped and shocking my target to notice me, 

It worked great but I could never get the girl I wanted..

I go plenty of interest (old,not atrractive to me, boring, nasty ect) but none that I was interested in. I have pretty specific taste (possibly fetishs) ..

Im not sure what to do with this limiting belief..

I am at the stage now where I go out and socialize but I have no intention of closing.. Because I cant find what I want that wants me back..

Happy to be alone.. But it sounds a bit like an excuse..

Any advice

[Rares]

On 2/12/2016 at 5:41 AM, Rita said:

@Rares what does that mean? can you elaborate?

What exactly @Rita

[Blind Observer]

What was your stariting point? what were your biggest struggles? have you ever thought to quit PU? if I am shy do you think it's fine if I develop my confidence with people in general or it might be better to stick just talking with women? Thanks in advice

[Rita]

@Rares it was in response to a comment you made upthread:

:)))))) Every boy`s dream is to be cold approached by a girl

how you reply on this forum software is a tad odd to me

 

[Lynnel]

On 14/2/2016 at 8:12 AM, Will said:

Oh, i have soo many questions..

When I go in cold I used to think of going in state pumped and shocking my target to notice me, 

It worked great but I could never get the girl I wanted..

I go plenty of interest (old,not atrractive to me, boring, nasty ect) but none that I was interested in. I have pretty specific taste (possibly fetishs) ..

Im not sure what to do with this limiting belief..

I am at the stage now where I go out and socialize but I have no intention of closing.. Because I cant find what I want that wants me back..

Happy to be alone.. But it sounds a bit like an excuse..

Any advice

@Will Why is it a limiting belief ? 

Happy to be alone ? What ?

You can't find what wants you back.
It's the opposite, you have to find what you want and attract it. A better question would be to ask " Why can't I attract the girls I'm attracted to " ?

Is it beliefs? Lack of experience ? Putting them on pedestals ?

State + Shock formula works sometimes, if you wanna be more advanced, remplace it with : Relaxed,at ease, cool and sensual. Lack of comfort is quite often a big issue.

[Lynnel]

16 hours ago, Blind Observer said:

What was your stariting point?

When I really started pick up, it was a break up from a 11 month relationship. I was 21. Before that I only had crushes and small failures. Basically me idealizing the girl for month and doing nothing, like simply trying to talk to her and then fucking up. I also had a small group of friends, and a very fucked up mind. A bad habit of gaming and depression with sometimes suicidal thoughts.

16 hours ago, Blind Observer said:

what were your biggest struggles?

Everything was a struggle, because it's like fighting in an arena. You always have your elbows in the mud. Once you get used to it you become seriously ICY which is a really nice state.

The biggest ones are always : understanding what's going on. WHY something works, WHY something doesn't and WHY in similar cases sometimes it works and sometimes NOT. There is an overhelming lack of logic because the whole pick up world has a logic of his own which if you're not used to it doesn't make any sense. You have to solve paradoxes, understand what and how and when something is important and when it's not, etc etc, it's simply insane.
Another big sticking point of mine was not being totaly at ease and relaxed. Another was and still is outcome independence. And neediness.
Okay seriously now that I think about it let's ask the reverse question, WHAT WASN"T A BIG STRUGGLE :

Having almost infinite motivation, writting field reports, being seriously invested in this, going out a lot, finding a minimal amount of okayish wingmen, optimizing the whole process to evolve faster, finding relevant pick-up ressources. 
Everything else was a big struggle

16 hours ago, Blind Observer said:

have you ever thought to quit PU?

Never ever. Once you stop, you're done. So no.

16 hours ago, Blind Observer said:

if I am shy do you think it's fine if I develop my confidence with people in general or it might be better to stick just talking with women? Thanks in advice

No. It sounds as a really good excuse not to talk to girls. Your social skills will TREMENDOUSLY improve as you talk with girls OVER and OVER. So stick talking to as much girls as you can
you're welcome

[Will]

48 minutes ago, Lynnel said:

@Will Why is it a limiting belief ? 

Happy to be alone ? What ?

You can't find what wants you back.
It's the opposite, you have to find what you want and attract it. A better question would be to ask " Why can't I attract the girls I'm attracted to " ?

Is it beliefs? Lack of experience ? Putting them on pedestals ?

State + Shock formula works sometimes, if you wanna be more advanced, remplace it with : Relaxed,at ease, cool and sensual. Lack of comfort is quite often a big issue.

I think a specific want  could be a limiting belief because it limits your possibilities. i.e. people hide behiond spcificity because they are scared ?? I dont know.. I just wasnt sure if being too specific is a limit or if its just an excuse??

 

I fully expect that some woman are just not a match I think thats my core problem.. If you look for people in a pub scene there probably going to like alcohol.. If I like girls with boobs they are probably going to be very rare.. I have to step up some more and accept the reality of the situation and workl oput how to maximise my success by going to different places and using different techniques. But I am not willing to use tricks to shock and awe I girl I just cant see that being suatainable.. I like the idea of being relaxed at ease cool and sensual and vunerable yet strong and centered..

 

NOt sure what I am going to do yet discussing is helping me to work it out.. Interseting to hear other views and experiences!!

Thanks!!

 

[Lynnel]

On 15/2/2016 at 2:20 PM, Will said:

I think a specific want  could be a limiting belief because it limits your possibilities. i.e. people hide behiond spcificity because they are scared ?? I dont know.. I just wasnt sure if being too specific is a limit or if its just an excuse??

I will give you props for being really self-aware. You can indeed use that as an excuse and be like : Oh I only want this type of girls so I won't try to geet the ones that scare me. Unless you have tried everything you don't know what you actually want.

Actually I like your way of thinking.

You will INDEED have no chemistry with CERTAIN GIRLS, but the more attractive you become, the more girls you will have emotionnal, or at least sexual chemistry.
There is an old saying that if you are really attracted to someone on a physical level, that might be because of the compatibility on a genetical level. IT SEEMS TRUE, but there is no scientific proof of that exact fact (aside from the fact that genetic compability indeed helps mating) , but use it to your advantage    => In the end, don't be too specific, if you feel attracted try it out. And be honest to yourself.

 

On 15/2/2016 at 2:20 PM, Will said:

If you look for people in a pub scene there probably going to like alcohol.. If I like girls with boobs they are probably going to be very rare..

Those are limiting beliefs. You can meet LOTS of different people. In one year, I met like 5 girls twice, out of let's say 1 thousand approaches.
Girls with HUGE BIG OR AVERAGE boobs are not rare. They're all out there. And what if they like alcohol ? Almost everyone drinks time from time. That doesn't mean that they are in love with alcohol and that they are therefore lower value...I mean to feel good and free you have to do a lot of shit like meditation and energy cleansing, hence lots of people take the easy way out.

 

On 15/2/2016 at 2:20 PM, Will said:

I have to step up some more and accept the reality of the situation and workl oput how to maximise my success by going to different places and using different techniques. But I am not willing to use tricks to shock and awe I girl I just cant see that being suatainable.. I like the idea of being relaxed at ease cool and sensual and vunerable yet strong and centered..

 

Exactly. Don't use techniques, but go to the places with the higher volume to get more references.
It is indeed not sustainable, because it takes a lot of effort and calibration.
I use it sometimes to get attention simply because girls don't respond to anything else But yeah, you got it right. Like I'd do the same kind of right. Ahah. Would love hearing back from you about your progress ! Good luck mate !

[Lynnel]

On 15/2/2016 at 1:47 AM, Rita said:

@Rares it was in response to a comment you made upthread:

:)))))) Every boy`s dream is to be cold approached by a girl

how you reply on this forum software is a tad odd to me

 

He meant a random girl coming up and introducing herself to the guy Basically the girl picking up the guy.

[Rita]

@Lynnel oh.  i've tried that before and it's never worked for me.

[Lynnel]

@Rita The success rate is quite low for everyone at the start so don't get discouraged. Nonetheless I can't give any specific advice for a women because I'm not one