General Faq : Pickup/dating

[Lynnel]

(PS : @Leo Gura I'm not sure what the policy is in terms of PINNED Topics but If I may suggest this one ? )

[reez]

Hey @Lynnel !

May I ask what you have used for researching this?

Myself I have gone through some courses of CoC, SP, GS if you are familiar with any of them. I have also read some books, for example "Models, How To Attract Women Through Honesty" among others, most of these I consider quite good

Do you have any more recommendations? I have checked out RSD and will read some of their articles and see if I like it.

[Lynnel]

@reez Thanks for using the thread

 

2 hours ago, reez said:

Hey @Lynnel !

Myself I have gone through some courses of CoC, SP, GS if you are familiar with any of them.

What are CoC and GS ?

Simple Pickup is cool for taking action but it's too soft.

I started with some French Websites I wouldn't recommend, because they use gimmicky game and are like..primitive to some extent.

I have actually not read models, I've mixed it up with Mode One which is unrealistic. Models seems to be loved overall by the community and I don't yet know why. I'll read it sometime and report back

I did my research on the spot. By going out a trying all the different stuff. And now by having some experience I can see what's bullshit and what's not. Just from the 4-5 days of going out per week and the 30 day challenge

I recommend the RSD stuff ( Tyler Hotseat at home/ Julien Shift and PIMP are just the perfect products) that you find the most relevant to your situation. They really have great concepts and it helped my game tremendously. They have some sort of monopoly almost because of their great reputation and well..it's deserved !
 

Edited March 7, 2016 by Lynnel

[reez]

7 hours ago, Lynnel said:

@reez Thanks for using the thread

 

What are CoC and GS ?

Simple Pickup is cool for taking action but it's too soft.

I started with some French Websites I wouldn't recommend, because they use gimmicky game and are like..primitive to some extent.

I have actually not read models, I've mixed it up with Mode One which is unrealistic. Models seems to be loved overall by the community and I don't yet know why. I'll read it sometime and report back

I did my research on the spot. By going out a trying all the different stuff. And now by having some experience I can see what's bullshit and what's not. Just from the 4-5 days of going out per week and the 30 day challenge

I recommend the RSD stuff ( Tyler Hotseat at home/ Julien Shift and PIMP are just the perfect products) that you find the most relevant to your situation. They really have great concepts and it helped my game tremendously. They have some sort of monopoly almost because of their great reputation and well..it's deserved !
 

Charisma On Command, now a days they ain't so focused on the dating scene. But rather Charisma overall.

GlobalSeducer, is pretty much a dude who writes stories when he's travelling around the world and picking up girls

I think most like Models due to the fact that it's not about using some bad pickup lines which "guarantees to work". It is pretty much about becoming your self - your best self when picking up girls and overall in life. 

Ahh okay, but before you started taking action and/or meanwhile, what did you read at the time? 

[Lynnel]

On 7/3/2016 at 10:21 AM, reez said:

Ahh okay, but before you started taking action and/or meanwhile, what did you read at the time? 

I watched RSD videos and products. I have watched and taken notes on all the free RSD videos from Tyler and Julien and most of Todd's. Blueprint, shift, pimp. Oh god, I watched some parts of PIMP like ten times to undestand where I was fucking up in my interactions

They have general principles and are explaining how to make yourself more attractive. No bad pickup lines, that stuff is primitive now.

Yeah, it's all about upgrading yourself and cutting the crap, returning to your core, etc. I couldn't agree more !

[veqsms]

Lynnel with how many women did you get laid

What's  RSD by the way

And what are 3 crucial tips to improve ourselves from your opinion.

 

Edited March 13, 2016 by veqsms

[Will]

On 08/02/2016 at 9:42 PM, MonikaBcn said:

have you found 'the one'? and why not? ;D

makes me laugh... As if there even is one.. sometimes I have these feelings during deep meditations that where all the same one... Kinda makes the ONE a pointless idea!!!!

 

[Will]

@reez check out tao of badass

 

[reez]

@Will I will do so

Do you mean the paid programme though? Cause I'm not that into paying for courses hehe

[Lynnel]

On 12/03/2016 at 11:29 PM, veqsms said:

Lynnel with how many women did you get laid

What's  RSD by the way

And what are 3 crucial tips to improve ourselves from your opinion.

 

1) More than one

2) Real Social Dynamics = a pick-up/dating company

3)
A) Be really serious about this and seek REAL progress : meaning go out and do tangible stuff and monitor your progess. Unrelated to pick up, I've read some journals with things like I've been doing this for 2 years, and I'm like, you've been doing what ? Where are the results ? or when I asked about the life changing habits, someone told me buying flowers.

In pick-up lots of people sometimes go out, sometimes talk to girls, and sometimes get results (sometimes here means once a year). Take this seriously : keep a journal, watch content, do what's hard and what needs to be done and keep track of your results.

B) Take action and when in doubt trust the process. Focus on tangible doing (aka talking to girls) and learning and understanding the principles. Also put yourself out there and be real. Let your core change. It will hurt, but learn to handle your emotions and you're gonna see huge benefits and permanent change coming from that.

C) Don't let your mind trick you. Self-awareness, aka noticing what's going on inside helps tremendously. Your mind will trick you will excuses, rationalizations, tremendous lies not to change. You have to recognize those and move past.

I could write a lot more on this topic but I'd rather answer to specific questions like these

[Will]

@reez nah get started first

there lots of youtube videos to watch free.... find a wing person who is keen to learn aswell.. helps to stay focused..

skills you can practice with anyone

1. Not giving a shit
2. Do what you want
3. Do it sober, helps you to remember what you did right and wrong
4. dont give a shit about the outcome.
5. feel the fear and do it anyways
6. be honest
7. recalibrate
8. learn body language
9. learn to be a giver and never a taker
10. try not to take it too seriously
11. focus on where you want to be, not on what you did wrong (just be mindfull of what you did wrong)
12. awareness awareness awareness.. 

so on..

Allot of this stuff is pretty nuanced. and will take some time to get used to like writing with the wrong hand.

 

[Event_Horizon]

Hi @Lynnel 

I think this thread is some of the best PU advice I ever encountered.

I've really been into self-development for the past few years, but I was always stuck with no progress in the dating & pick up area. I've decided to learn the products you recommended (SHIFT and PIMP) and to really start getting into it and fix this part of my life. However, I'm now studying in university and my studying is very demanding. I know this can easily become an excuse, but once I start focusing on PU, interacting with girls, texting etc. it becomes really hard for me to focus on studying and keep reading self-development books etc. I practice meditation for half a year now and try to be mindful as much as possible (I was in a Vipassana retreat a while ago and increased my meditation to an hour sitting every day) so this helps me a lot. However, interaction with girls really throws me off balance, and hurts my concentration and investment in studying and meditating. 

How would you recommend for me to incorporate  PU into my life? 

Thank you for all the useful advice! 

[Stef]

Lately I've been watching a lot of RSD and want to do pickup. I've cold-approached a few times in my life and it went relatively well.

However, there are some issues. Approaching a girl subconciously conveys that you find her as higher value so you have to qualify yourself. Also, I find it hard to approach if I'm not in a good mood/don't have energy.

[reez]

@Neuroticon I disagree with it giving her a higher value. You are acting as a confident man (high value) and showing you can lead (high value). However you can of course kinda screw it up. Depending on your behaviour

The key is to always be in good mood/energy. One technique is just to see yourself back in a time where you just felt AMAZING. What was your voice like? What was your body language like? What did your smile look like?

Relive that memory and apply the same voice/body-lanugage/smile. This should take you 10 seconds, once you've done that just say something that you think is true at this moment, one I use is: I am so fucking beast right now.

You should also have light conversations with pretty much anyone you meet. The one beside you on the bus/train, the taxidriver, the cashier, waiter and so on. I think you get my point . Most people will respond positively and who knows, it might be your next best-man/wife sitting there next to you

[Lynnel]

On 10/04/2016 at 1:27 PM, Event_Horizon said:

Hi @Lynnel 

I think this thread is some of the best PU advice I ever encountered.

I've really been into self-development for the past few years, but I was always stuck with no progress in the dating & pick up area. I've decided to learn the products you recommended (SHIFT and PIMP) and to really start getting into it and fix this part of my life. However, I'm now studying in university and my studying is very demanding. I know this can easily become an excuse, but once I start focusing on PU, interacting with girls, texting etc. it becomes really hard for me to focus on studying and keep reading self-development books etc. I practice meditation for half a year now and try to be mindful as much as possible (I was in a Vipassana retreat a while ago and increased my meditation to an hour sitting every day) so this helps me a lot. However, interaction with girls really throws me off balance, and hurts my concentration and investment in studying and meditating. 

How would you recommend for me to incorporate  PU into my life? 

Thank you for all the useful advice! 

You're welcome !

Well. Learning takes time, and the most efficient way you have to learn it under time constrains is doing 30 minutes everyday, and then when you have some more time during the weekends and such do more, like 2-3 hours and try to pull.

This is stated in shift as well. Problem is you need time to watch content, read and take in all the inner game stuff. Writing field reports and so on and so forth. I can understand studies being demanding. To bring more balance, try to do some pickup for 30 minutes everyday for instance before lunch, then alway write the report while eating and decide you're gonna text the numbers at a given time everyday. You're not gonna be flexible but at least your studuying and meditation won't suffer. Aside from those allocated time periods, get it out of your head.

Learning pick up can also be very demanding so it's up to you to entirly figure out how you wanna proceed and what to invest your energy in. But that's the most efficient way It could be done I believe.

(I mean unless you study medecine, even if you study 8 hours a day, or let's say 8 hours of lectures + 3 hours of studying + 8 of sleep, you still have 5 free hours left ).

[Lynnel]

1 hour ago, Neuroticon said:

 

However, there are some issues. Approaching a girl subconciously conveys that you find her as higher value so you have to qualify yourself.

Not at all. If you approach a fattie is she higher value than you now ? Or if a ten opens you, does that mean you're lower value than her ?

You do not have to qualify yourself and should never do it. If you can explain as to why you feel like qualifying yourself, or why would she be higher value, I could give more specific advice  ! The blueprint helps a lot for that one.

But no, you're not lower value for approaching. If you do it perfectly you are even HIGHER value than anyone else, because honestly, do you know anyone who can randomly approach and chat a cute girl without shitting his paints ?

1 hour ago, Neuroticon said:

Also, I find it hard to approach if I'm not in a good mood/don't have energy.

Meditate/ Handle your emotions to be in a smooth mood

And to have more energy, well.

Get momentum if you want more positive energy, and become kinda state reliant.

OR, go trough a bad break-up and learn to be attractive from whatever comes out. Strive to be real That's the way I personnaly learned it. It's even hilarious because when you're sad as fuck and you open while not caring you are SO attractive. And you're like...why have I spent months and month trying to self-amuse when I can just go on and chat ?

17 minutes ago, reez said:

You should also have light conversations with pretty much anyone you meet. The one beside you on the bus/train, the taxidriver, the cashier, waiter and so on.

Unless you can talk to a girl you like. And only if you want to.

Never forget about effeciency. While you talk to some random guys your ten is flying away.

[Will]

@Neuroticon

there about 100 different skills that you need to get good youve touched on a few..

• cold approach
• demonstrating high value
• social value, comparing yourself against others
• state pumping
• reframing

and theres plenty more..

Keys is that these are all just step and they all have to play well together with timing and awareness..

Cold approach is actually quite easy by itself.. Your getting bent out of shape by what you want from the cold approach.. Usually guys want a good result which is counter prodcutive..

Cold approach wont get you laid. It will teach you things and enables you to

• overcome fear , doing something when your mind says no
• learn conversation skills 
• learn about high pressure situations..

This is why you just need to put the result out of your head and focus on the skill and learning about yourself , the skill and the other person..

demonstrating high value

• its not about demonstrating higher value than the girl, you both should be able to demonstrate high value.. High value is basically that you have a mindset of abundance and have knowledge, awareness and make decisions and communicate with all these things as a basis
• Its not about making the other feel less. actually quite the oppposite, you need to be able to pump them so they enjoy your contribution.

State pumping 

Just do star jumps slap yourself yell loudly all that kinda stuff and your state will be pumped.

State pupming is easy .. Its the doing things your afraid of or the having the social skills that hold modst people back..

 

reframing is all about not being told how the world is.. Its about deciding for yourself what the world is. Things dont ever control you unless you let them.. ever.. You just need to be constantly aware of this and act appropriately..

 

[Lynnel]

On 07/04/2016 at 11:58 AM, Will said:

learn body language

 

 

On 14/04/2016 at 10:16 AM, Will said:

 

Cold approach wont get you laid. It will teach you things and enables you to

Well, unless you pull

 

On 07/04/2016 at 11:58 AM, Will said:

• try not to take it too seriously

But never use it as an excuse to do nothing ! Massive action is required for results.

[Roland]

@Lynnel First of all thanks for sharing your experiences with us. 

Before I ask my  specific questions I'd first like to describe the state and situation I am currently in. I know it's a long post, but I could imagine that especially nowadays, where many people have to move to another city for work reasons, others are in at least a similar situation. 

I've recently moved (15 months ago) to a relativly small city (100k citizens) for work reasons. I like my job (PHD student at university) but I can't really figure out how to make it work with women here. I probably should add that I don't really have much of a social circle either. Two years ago I somehow managed to pull a pretty hot girl in a club and we had an amazing sex affair for like 6-7 months, but this made me really complacent and I restartet playing video games and watching porn. I thought if I was able to pull a hot girl once, I will easily be able to do so in future again. In retrospect that was of course ridiculously naive, otherwise I wouldn't have been solo for a bit more than two years now. Anyway, I've pretty much wasted my first 12 months here, because I was either working or playing video games on the weekends. I've stopped the video games for 4 months now and I actually don't even miss them, but I kinda realize that I am in quite a bad spot with considering the fact that I was living in a town for one year and still don't have anyone to go out with. I must add though, that I generally don't feel depressed or lonely and I also don't want to "waste time" with friend circles I don't consider as valuable or inspirational. I guess if I had stayed in my home town (which was at least a big city) I also would have had to build a new social circle, so I don't really care too much. Work colleagues are nice but most of them already have a family and the "intereset gap" is simply too big. I am 27, consider myself actually quite good looking (doing 3-4 times sports during the week) and I really don't think of myself as a social misfit, although I gradually realize that I seriously have to catch up on a few things. Even when practially staying at home for like 12 months, there were like four or five situations I could swear I was receiving an inviting smile from some gorgeous girl (the two times I was visiting a party /club) but I neither had the balls nor the practice/knowledge to do anything about it. I am into this actualization stuff for quite a long time now (4 months) and I am still really positive about it, but I still lack practice in this whole dating stuff. Some of my specific questions are:

1.) Night time: How would it look like? Should I even start going out alone in the evening in such a small town or will it be too suspicious once people realize that this "guy" is always wandering alone through nightlife. Here are also no big clubs. There's literally only one or two rooms in most clubs or bars and once I've entered and don't make something happen within the first 5 minutes (e.g. starting a positive converastion with somebody new) it's kinda game over (at least in my perception). It's also not that anonymous as in a big city, where you can literally meet new people all the time.

I would have the opportunity to drive to a large city on the weekends, tho.

2.) Day time: How am I supposed to deal with the "relatively" small volume situation. I know it easily comes across like an excuse, but I am somehow afraid that I will blow my moment, once I make myself visible to everybody. It similar to the nighttime situation. I also can't really imagine places where I would meet a lot of women. Of course I can enter some sports club (which I already did) but the volume here is also relatively small and I can't keep switching sports clubs every two weeks.

3.) How important is the social circle to be successful at this and can I get better at this just on my own? I know that building up a social circle is also really important and I am really working on this, but as I already mentioned I don't want to have "just some friends", where I waste my time. Before stupidly drinking alcohol somewhere and talking shit I'd rather sit at home to be honest. I know this is quite judgemental but I really don't feel like making any progress with this normal "socializing". Anyway, I am working on this, but I would prefer getting better with women "simultanously" instead of first having to build up a social circle and so on.

4.) As a result of the beforementioned questions : How could a practice routine  in this situation look like?

Of course I realize that somebody experienced wouldn't have any problems with the issues mentioned above, but I feel like it's rather a bad starting situation for practicing. On the other hand I have seen so many beautiful girls with ugly boyfriends here, that I sometimes even wonder if it's not actually easier to hook up with some cute girl in a small city.

I also should mention that I just want to get on a decent level where I can at least handle those situations, when some beautiful girl smiles at me, so that I miss less opportunities and where I can have some intimacy again, be it an affair or a serious relationship. I wouldn't even have the time because work/research is priority number one. That's why I would already be satisfied with a moderate advancement in this direction, let's say some girlfriend or affair in 2016.

And one last question just out of couriosity:

5.) What is the success rate for an experienced PUA for having sex with a girl he approaches. I was just wondering, because maybe I would have to reconsider my career  ;-)

Regards,

Roland

[reez]

@Roland I know you didn't ask me but I will try and answer anyhow

 

You should never focus on the girls in a sports club/night club or pretty much anything. They are a part of your journey not your goal.

1. You should not drive way too far in order to hit a night club and hit on girls. If they get interested and wanna follow you home, it's not a good thing to have a 1 hour ride home. I would go to a club in your city and get to know some guys and get a social circle before I start hitting on girls. It's not good to be that guy standing in a corner and checking out and only talking to women. Rather be that social guy who seem to have fun with everyone. Later on the night you can start talking/dancing with girls and then take the interaction 1o1 from there.

2. Library/Yoga Class/Church/Grocery Store/Coffee shop is all some places where you can find girls who look good. But standing in a grocery store all day trying to find cute girls is not advisable hehe

 

3. Social circle is always important if you ask me, some of your friends might have some girl friends who they can hook you up with? Your friends might throw a party where they invite a lot of people and there you meet a girl, same with weddings and such. In day-game it shouldn't matter if you have friends with you or not, just go and talk to any random girl you find cute and might wanna hang out with later on. However, like I said earlier in night-game it's good to have that group of people you can hang out with so you don't just stand in a corner and check out girls who you'd like to talk to.

 

4. Just go out on the town where most shops are and talk to girls you find cute. At first you can ask something simple as "Do you know where X is?" and ask for directions just so you dare to talk to girls, and when you feel comfortable with that, you can then interrupt and just say: "Never mind of that, I just needed an excuse to talk to you since I thought you were cute. Hey my name is X". Or just skip the direction quest part. The base-point is to basically just talk to any girl you can. So be the cashier/waiter or someone you just see.

5. I don't think there's anyone doing the statistics on that . And it does depend, just because you're experienced doesn't mean you are good

Here is a homeless guy who hooks up with girls and end up going to their place to find a place to sleep haha