Frustrated! I just want to transcend the sex drive!

[onacloudynight]

I really just want to focus on consciousness work for the rest of my life, but my sex drive is getting in the way. A part of me still wants to fuck, but I really don't want to go down the whole rabbit hole of completely changing my whole entire life around just so I can attract women and have sex with them.

I've gone down this path before and every time I start going out and approaching women, I can never stay consistent with it. I start getting pulled back into wanting to meditate more and then when I start to meditate more I enjoy it but my body still craves sex! It is so hilarious too. I was on a date with a girl and I couldn't even talk to her normally because I was in this blissed-out samadhi state and all I was talking about was consciousness. She even said, "All you keep talking about is this consciousness over and over again."

I just feel like I am so far removed from the "material" world to even be able to begin to relate to people normally, without massive work. It seems like the only material need I got left is sex. So I wish I could just transcend it, so I don't have to live a normal life at all, which is what I actually want. I don't want to live a normal life. The only reason I would is so I could get sex, which doesn't seem worth it to me, especially since I would have to sacrifice my 5 hour a day meditation practice.

I have tried denying myself over and over again, but the sex drive is just too powerful. I don't know what to do. I really don't want to let go of all the work I have already done towards meditation and enlightenment. Maybe someone can help.

Edited October 22, 2019 by onacloudynight

[Focus Shift]

This is a really interesting case. Sex can be low consciousness or high consciousness. Maybe try finding someone who's passionate about this work as well? Could be a solution. In the mean time, embrace and stay conscious of the sex drive. 

17 minutes ago, onacloudynight said:

It is so hilarious too.

It's good that you can see the humor in the situation as well. Also, Alan Watts had sex with lots of women haha. Personally I don't see spiritual work and sex drive as mutually exclusive. 

[Sahil Pandit]

@onacloudynight Tomorrow will be day 30 of No Fap for me. I'm not saying that to impress upon you, but i think i can genuinely give you some answers that you want.

First of all, you clearly see that your sexual drives will not satisfy you in the way meditation and consciousness work can, right?

Okay, if that's taken care of. You wan't to start cleaning up/purifying those lower chakras, as well as channeling that energy up your spine, so you can live your live from a higher state of consciousness, instead of the mind focusing on gross, material pleasure.

Kriya Yoga, exercises like cardio, the Practice of Semen Retention and Brahamacharya can be of great value for you.

Have you research these? Did you know that if you COULD transcend your sexual desire, you could develop the work ethic of 4 men? Is it worth it to you?

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

An interesting option aside from pursuing sex in waking life is to learn how to lucid dream and have sex whenever you want in your dream with whatever partner(s) you imagine. This is totally doable and will feel very real, you can orgasm in your dream. 

[Sahil Pandit]

@TrynaBeTurquoise Definitely. A lot of subconscious purging can also happen during dreams, which is ultimately like a sexual ego backlash. You end up having a wet dream, but the mind seems to settle at a new, healthier baseline level of consciousness and then it's not on your mind as much...

[Ry4n]

Spiritual work should not always require one to withdraw from the world and suppress natural instincts, sex itself can be a gateway to enlightenment, integrating it into your spiritual life would yield more benefit than just denying it. Try and find someone (probably introverted) that's on a similar wavelength who you can share that journey with you.

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

I have tried denying myself over and over again, but the sex drive is just too powerful.

Goooood!

Now you're starting to understand how serious survival is.

You ain't gonna transcend survival as easy as you thought.

If it was that easy, everyone would have done it and the human race would not exist.

Notice the irony that the thing you wish would go away is the very force which resulted in your birth.

It's like you're standing on a rug and trying to pull it up from under your feet at the same time.

Denial of the sex drive is not the same as transcendence of it.

My suggestion would be to continue your spiritual practice and engage in sex mindfully rather than deny it. Then maybe one day you will outgrow it as the natural result of your spiritual practice. Maybe.

[Rinne]

@onacloudynight I seen a technique from one of the kriya yoga books that helps with this. PM for more info. 

[Surfingthewave]

@onacloudynight Why would you want to transcend your sex drive? You also talk about meeting beautiful women to have sex with them. Perhaps think about why you want to have sex. If it's just sex, masturbate, and get on with your spiritual work. If it's to meet a woman and have a meaningful loving relationship then that's entirely different. 

[Eu Sint]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

My suggestion would be to continue your spiritual practice and engage in sex mindfully rather than deny it. Then maybe one day you will outgrow it as the natural result of your spiritual practice. Maybe.

You read mi mind Leo?.As much as you struggle to transcend  it, you can instead be aware and mindfully.By being aware of what happens when you have an orgasm, you can sublimate that powerful energy into spiritual energy that you can use in meditative practice to obtain later states of samadhi. Samadhi = orgasm..?

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, see_on_see said:

"All you keep talking about is this consciousness over and over again."

As if there is anything else one could talk about, LOL.

[archi]

It is just a question of time until you get over it whether you want or not so just enjoy it until lasts.  

One way is to be exposed by so many partners that you get bored and/or start to think about it more consciously who to choose , or you get STD and it also shifts your perception immediately . Another one to get old . 

 

Don't create unnecessary barriers, you would be forced to return to it in order to progress anyway.

Once I meditated and first few minutes I was having sex thoughts, I was not able to get rid of it so it became my object of meditation and I introduced compassion and love to all and everything .  It was great ... passionate sex and love dance and I just can sink into it. 

However, love was quite strong and all those sex thoughts dissipated into love and bodily thoughts disappeared after few moments, then I was able to return to breath etc. Just don't make it addition   

 

[Leo Gura]

@This is the end That's fine, but there is a higher level where you lose interest in such human games.

[Leo Gura]

Even experiences of human connection are still shallow compared to metaphysical realizations.

When you are infinite you are connected to the whole universe.

There are good reasons why serious yogis and monks go celebate.

[ADD]

Sexual energy is the highest energy in you. It can't be removed unless you die. But it can be chanelled to something useful instead of forming lust. Be aware of your thoughts.

[Nahm]

 

9 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

completely changing my whole entire life around just so I can attract women and have sex with them.

You’re fragmenting yourself straight down the middle with that belief. The duality is only in thought. 

“My whole entire life”.   What even is that?!

[Danioover9000]

Just now, This is the end said:

@Danioover9000

Thank you. I think I am going to quit the forum now. I pity that you see it that way. 

   Thanks for the pity 

[whoareyou]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Even experiences of human connection are still shallow compared to metaphysical realizations.

When you are infinite you are connected to the whole universe.

There are good reasons why serious yogis and monks go celebate.

You clearly have not experienced deep and intimate (spiritual) relationships. 

Majority of yogis and monks don't go celebate for this reason.

If you yourself are a loner and don't have any human connections, it doesn't mean that it's optimal.

In fact it's the opposite - so imo this is very dangerous advice that you should not be giving here and this is  part of your life that you still didn't get handled.

"Consciousness work" and connections with humans (including sex) are not mutually exclusive, in fact they go hand in hand.

Just doing "consciousness work" and ignoring all other aspects of life is not healthy, and will lead to a lot of problems. And vice versa. You should be doing both.

[mikelyons]

@Leo Gura What is the difference between denial and transcendence? 

(Or do you cover this in one of your videos?)

Is it as simple as denial you're always fighting, whereas transcendence is effortless?

[Danioover9000]

1 hour ago, This is the end said:

@Danioover9000

aaaahhh... this is unconscious behaviour. I pity that you see it that way. 

We all want a conscious forum where everyone helps each other, were we all gain beautiful insights. We all can make technical mistakes her but eventually walk away with more perspective. We want to do this lovingly. 

Being conscious = being loving to strangers on this forum. The fact is you totally don't know who I am, or anyone else. No surprise that is always the people who know the least about you who judge you the most.

Next time you type something to me, set your intent to be loving towards yourself and others. 

There are a lot of moderators on the forum who want to keep this forum up to a conscious standard communicating: adjust to it or I can pm a moderator to suggest a warning. 

 

   I was jocking lovingly. Humour=lightness=high consciousness

   The fact you refused to be open-minded, and be playful is the very sign of low consciousness. Here, you're being a spiritual devil being emotionally triggered by me and now put blame on me while refusing to realize what I'm trying to point out to you. You took this joke seriously. Seriousness=low consciousness.

   I don't know you and thought you were a legit realized human being. After getting triggered, well, now I know you're pretending to be spiritual and need more personal development work.

   Here's me helping you: fix your laziness, and you're limiting beliefs about spirituality. Realize you're just believing Leo's work and incarnation.

   This work is brutal and it is very hard on not just you or everybody else in this forum but for me too. Eventually, you just got to develop a hard-hands-on approach to this work and apply it for yourself