How Can I Be More Aware?

[khalifa]

Lately when i've been meditating it feels like i'm way too relaxed that i don't really feel a sense of awareness, it's more like i'm in a half asleep during meditation although the monkey chatter does kick in and i usually participate on the thoughts and then i remember i'm meditating and is top. It feels like i'm getting no where

 

If i'm meditating and i focus on my breath/body sensations doesn't that count as a thought and is against being?

Edited May 24, 2016 by khalifa

[Henri]

Do not worry. There can be so many meditations and experiences, nevertheless your awareness is slowly expanding between your meditations, during your daily routines. You might check it out, awareness of more awareness....

Focusing on the breath is just a trick to become relaxed. When relaxed let it go (like 4 breaths a minute). Focusing on body sensations is for awareness and for healing some blockades you might have, again after that let go. 

@khalifa

[Mal]

1 hour ago, khalifa said:

It feels like I'm getting nowhere

@khalifa

Hi khalifa,

In my eyes the very fact that you are aware of this means a great deal at this early stage of learning the mechanics involved in how to "do nothing".

Can you conceive of a time when it will be a possibility for you to just be with your experience and later hopefully "as" your experience?

Awareness in meditation unfolds in stages. It requires a little patience and peripheral awareness of a notion known to the human mind as "time" to climb the ladder of lucidity toward a more comprehensive vantage point: and this is why I subscribe to the attitude of wholism - the objects of the seeming internal and external dichotomy is indeed a party, and all are whole heartedly welcome! 

I'm positive that if you adopt this stance of radical inclusivity toward your own development and sitting practice, you will speedily happen upon the awareness that at present seems to be so elusive.

Be and enjoy being.

Warm Regards

Mal

Edited May 24, 2016 by Mal

[khalifa]

@Mal

1 hour ago, Mal said:

@khalifa

"do nothing".

 

Doing nothing in meditation isn't that so similar to sleeping? although the only difference is we're not lying down on bed, but rather sitting up straight. I really feel the a similar sleep state as i meditate is this normal? I do feel more relived and relaxed after the session although when i question it i can feel uneasy.(which is probably what my mind creates)

[vizual]

You can't be more aware, you can only be less unaware. Becoming more aware implies there is some effort to be made.

Notice that when you start to become sleepy and the awareness turns inside the mind, you are blocking out certain parts of the external experience. If you become sleepy, see the sleepiness as a part of the whole experience. It's not that when you become sleepy you become a separate entity, sleepiness still arises inside effortless awareness. If the sleepiness arises, let it come and watch it as the part of the whole. Trying to fight it with thought will not get you any further. 

Don't go into a meditation session with a certain goal or mindset. Rather, let everything unfold as it arises, that's the only goal. Zero interference by 'you'. Even if thought arises, let it go by as breezy wind.

 

Focussing on breath and body can serve as a pathway to a higher awareness. But it's not the body and breath per se that will make it happen. It's more that the body and breath are more in tune with things that just 'be'. 

[Mal]

@khalifa

2 hours ago, vizual said:

 

 

2 hours ago, khalifa said:

@Mal

 I really feel the a similar sleep state as i meditate is this normal?

Dear Khalifa,

If I'm answering your question correctly It appears you are on the right track. Yes this is normal, and yes even desierable

However, I proceed with caution here as there is a possibility that you may take what I'm about to say next literally and possibly adopt it as a belief.  Which is completely normal as everyone has a tendency to do -but as long as we're aware of this habit upfront, its not likely to become a problem in this case:

It is true that this waking reality is certainly akin to the sleep state. Moments of direct knowing of this is what we are what we are attempting to cultivate during meditation, and as @Henri has kindly pointed out "awareness" between sittings. 

Your moments wakefulness will start off small - that what you thought was true about a particular  situation is in fact not the whole story - and there is a possibility that you even  may have been completely wrong while unconsciously clinging to a certain view. 

But merely sitting and trying to artificially manufacturer a sceptical view of assumed reality doesn't quite cut the mustard. This is why I happily recommend the radically inclusive excersise of meditation as the most direct way of seeing through illusion. 

Mal 

 

Edited May 24, 2016 by Mal

[charlie2dogs]

6 hours ago, khalifa said:

Lately when i've been meditating it feels like i'm way too relaxed that i don't really feel a sense of awareness, it's more like i'm in a half asleep during meditation although the monkey chatter does kick in and i usually participate on the thoughts and then i remember i'm meditating and is top. It feels like i'm getting no where

 

If i'm meditating and i focus on my breath/body sensations doesn't that count as a thought and is against being?

why are you meditating?

what do you hope to attain by doing it?

what are you doing in meditation?

[khalifa]

@charlie2dogs

 

For the various meditating benefits + hoping i might get to the enlightenment stages, hoping to have a higher sense of awareness and a better fake life illusion.

Sometimes i focus on my breath or body sensations. And sometimes i just go pure blank trying to stop my thoughts or have no thoughts at all. Being aware of the monkey mind seems difficult at that age as i feel like as i try stopping it. the stopping thinking is a phase of a thought it's quite confusing.

 

[JustinS]

@khalifa

This shall help you out!

[charlie2dogs]

1 hour ago, khalifa said:

@charlie2dogs

 

For the various meditating benefits + hoping i might get to the enlightenment stages, hoping to have a higher sense of awareness and a better fake life illusion.

Sometimes i focus on my breath or body sensations. And sometimes i just go pure blank trying to stop my thoughts or have no thoughts at all. Being aware of the monkey mind seems difficult at that age as i feel like as i try stopping it. the stopping thinking is a phase of a thought it's quite confusing.

 

thanks for your reply, i would like to comment on some of it.  first there are no stages to enlightenment, you are or you are not, this is one of the huge misconceptions about enlightenment.  Having a higher sense of awareness is good and that is forever changing, with all that you go through.  The better fake life illusion,  it is good that you see that the human identity is an illusion but i would not take that too far as it will create more problems for you, until you know yourself better.

Thoughts, you cannot stop thoughts, you cannot still the mind as a human being,  the fake illusion has no power to do that.  How can a human identity still thoughts that are coming from their consciousness because of events, programing, false belief systems, that have taken root there, all these thoughts are coming from your own consciousness.  Most things are confusing until you have enough experience, knowledge, and understanding of a thing. 

Let me ask you another question, what do you think enlightenment means?

[ArabiaNytes]

9 hours ago, Henri said:

There can be so many meditations and experiences, nevertheless your awareness is slowly expanding between your meditations, during your daily routines. You might check it out, awareness of more awareness...

Aha! Reading your comment confirmed for me what I've been speculating over. I've found my meditation to naturally take a it's own course, whether it be the "do nothing", neti neti, mindful med, etc. Different styles, yet still producing the same inevitable result of opening the "third eye" to more awareness. Naturally, you'll also find yourself wanting to stay in your meditative state longer. I think the most important thing is to do it every day for 15+ minutes, (many recomend twice a day).

[AleksM]

Quote

Leo Gura quote from http://www.actualized.org/blueprint/waking-daze

Ways of increasing consciousness:

Meditation

Self-observation

Journaling

Writing

Reading

Mind Power

School, classes, or seminars

Getting out of your comfort zone and doing something challenging and new: like starting a business, doing pick-up, learning the piano, etc.

Travel

Contemplation

Deep conversations with friends/colleagues

 

[Azrael]

19 hours ago, khalifa said:

If i'm meditating and i focus on my breath/body sensations doesn't that count as a thought and is against being?

As if you had a choice here. Can you be completely w/o thinking whatsoever, or the opposite: Can you not be? If you are meditating and you are sitting still for some time you are doing it right, if you ask me.

And here's why: Doing that for over a year and for a minimum of one hour per day I found that I had weeks and months in which my head was literally screaming 60 minutes throughout the meditation, leaving me completely doubting whether I do this right or not. Other times it was boring as fuck and I couldn't do something about it. Still other times it was highly spiritual and I had life-changing experiences.

Now what did I do better when I had the life-changing experiences in my meditation? Nothing. I did exactly nothing but what I was doing all of the time. Just sitting, doing nothing. And one day it just strut me: If you take a monkey that is literally addicted to heroin and put him in front of a wall for some time every day, he will freak out completely in the beginning. After some time he will calm down and see that this is one of the most pleasurable experiences, but to realize that he first has to get off his addiction, or at least lower it.

That's the same with us. You cannot do something wrong here, you're just fucking sick, we all are. You cannot be more aware on purpose. It will come naturally if you sit every day and meditate and investigate these things. For me I basically had one year of a complete roller coaster of ups and downs, good and very, very fucking awful phases until one meditation a few months ago, where I firstly had the sensation of thoughts arising w/o having the sensation of speaking them myself.

So I proved to myself that I actually do not take part in the equation of what I think or do. From then on, a lot of crazy shit happened and it deepens and deepens and puts me into new situations. But I didn't do something to get there, I did nothing long enough to come to this stage and I will get to other ones if my body is ready. So is yours. So chill down, everything is fine.

[khalifa]

@charlie2dogs

 

I don't really know, that's what i'm trying to find out

[Mary]

@Arik Can I ask you a question?

 

You said it took a year for you to get into the cool parts of meditation, but were you already in a good place (psychologically) when you started meditation?

Did you have a lot of negative thoughts while meditating? Cuz I either have negative thoughts or neutral ones. I never had positive thoughs during meditation.

[Azrael]

11 minutes ago, Mary said:

You said it took a year for you to get into the cool parts of meditation, but were you already in a good place (psychologically) when you started meditation?

Did you have a lot of negative thoughts while meditating? Cuz I either have negative thoughts or neutral ones. I never had positive thoughs during meditation.

No, it basically took me one to three months to get into the cool parts of meditation. Meaning, that I began to enjoy sitting and being. However, after these first three months the psychological cleaning really got going and from then on I was shot into a lot of cycles. As I said, a lot of very, very hard ones but also phases of complete unity and being - if you wanna call it this way.

However also, as you meditate from month to month you are being presented with new levels of mindfulness, awareness and so on. What I experienced after one year of meditation would seem to me one year ago probably like mind-magic. Wouldn't believe that such a development is possible. And I'm just even beginning to see where this leading to. This whole journey, once you are in it for some time, is really nuts. I love it.

Before I started meditating I was very successful in life if you look from an outer perspective. I have and had everything going, moved to Berlin from my home town after I did my a levels starting my computer science studies at one of the best universities here in Germany and so on. If I'd tell you all the things I've done in such early ages, you probably would be impressed.

HOW fucking ever, I was completely neurotic, smoking 15-20 cigarettes a day, had a no stopping monkey mind that was worrying all day long and I still was struggling from some unresolved troubles because of a woman. So on the inside, I was completely fucked and I did quite an impressive job not to let anyone know.

I'm now, a little more then a year after all that in a very relaxed, calm, good mood. Stopped smoking a year ago, have a lot of fun, my grades went even up, I moved into a very nice place and do my thing. I'm focusing a lot on my studies and enlightenment. I love that. I still struggle with a lot of things now when it comes to realize even deeper truths and connecting to that, but it's a whole other dimension if that is like your hobby and not your way out of misery.

I basically don't have a lot of positive thoughts. My mind is really crazy. Also in meditation, I have thoughts I wouldn't even share with you guys here. What increases though are phases of being where you are completely in flow with the present moment and as awareness builds up, it feels like another dimension comes into the picture that frees you part by part from the attachment to your negative thoughts.

As this proceeds it seems like you watch the most marvellous theatre in the front row. So you don't care what thoughts arise and by that they get a lot better. Keep it up. This is by far one of the best means to unhook and get healthy again.

If you experience a lot of negative emotions while doing all this, maybe there is a very hurt side in you that screams for attention for years because it had to protect you from this mean, mean world when you weren't psychological stable enough to deal with it calmly. If that is the case for you, don't hate your negative thoughts and emotions. Listen to them and connect with them. They were and still are your safety shield that is maybe rotted in some ways - but that's not a reason to try to get away from it. Love it and listen to it, then it will naturally dissolve to a very relaxed, calm and self-confident shield. Trust me.

[Mary]

@Arik Amazing. I haven't told you before but I really like your posts.

Yeah as you said there is a very hurt side in me that I've been avoiding it for as long as I can remember. My emotions and thoughts are usually negative even during the day. I'm having lots of problems with my family mostly my mom. I'm taking therapy for that and learning how to handle her. Most of my negative thoughts are triggered by her. But that wasn't just enough, so I also started meditating. The problem is I can't sit for much. I've started with 10 mins and I'm trying to build it up to more. Though up till now I haven't had much progress or at least that's what I think. The only difference I'm noticing is that I have become more aware of my different emotions during the day. Like I never thought of myself as a jealous or angry person but now I am noticing that I have this unresolved anger and jealousy built up inside me over years. I'm going through a hard time and I just don't know if it'll ever be ok again.

And I also have another question for you. I know it's not relevant to here but I just wanted to take a shot. I've studied mechanical engineering but I really don't like it. I was a math nerd at school. I really like to continue my education in the field of computer engineering or computer science. However, I don't know if that would be the right choice. I don't know whether to continue my own field or study the one that I like.

Some people are telling me that all engineering is basically the same work and in the end it wouldn't really matter.  And that I shouldn't really bother myself and change my major.

What would you have done? Would you change your major? Do you think that would be the right choice?

Thank you for sharing your insights

[Azrael]

12 minutes ago, Mary said:

And that I shouldn't really bother myself and change my major.

Yes, I'd agree to that. If you have a math / engineering background computer science will fit if you like it. Do what you love!

[Steven]

22 hours ago, Arik said:

don't hate your negative thoughts and emotions. Listen to them and connect with them

This is a good point.

The sooner realized the better, because it does make it harder to let go and they keep reinforcing themselfs.

[Joseph Maynor]

On 5/24/2016 at 3:48 AM, khalifa said:

@Mal

Doing nothing in meditation isn't that so similar to sleeping? although the only difference is we're not lying down on bed, but rather sitting up straight. I really feel the a similar sleep state as i meditate is this normal? I do feel more relived and relaxed after the session although when i question it i can feel uneasy.(which is probably what my mind creates)

The trick is to maintain full awareness as you do nothing.  That is a kind of act.