How to mingle with social anxiety

[Pineapple]

I feel very nervous about going to networking events and mingle. Everyone is standing in groups and I don't know how to approach them. I feel slow, talking to people in a group and I am thinking about what to say while they change the subject. It feels like I have a filter that stops me from saying some things. If I go to a dinner event, it often ends with me sitting quietly, feeling invisible and people around are having interesting conversations. I like to speak with one or two at the same time, but with more people around I get quiet. I was quiet in school and now at job meetings.

I often think about how other people see me and I try to fit in. I also rewind a conversation afterward and try to analyze it. I hate public speaking, I'm not good at it and I can't remember what to say even if I just practice on my own. I have an introverted personality and I am not very interested in other people. I like to chat and meet people, but I also need time for myself. It feels like society expects everyone to be extroverted and it's hard to fit. I don't like being in the center of attention and I have been avoiding it my whole life. It has become a habit. I know that I need to socialize more and stop caring so much what people think of me.

Edited October 18, 2019 by Pineapple

[Colin89]

Hey Pinapple

I hear you, man do I hear you! 

It would be cool to see a video dedicated to anxieties such as this.

Like you, I was quiet in school too and still am for the most part. I also struggled for a long time being in a room with lots of people, any more than 3 folk in close proximity is a crowd in my eyes. 

The key to overcoming this social anxiety, for me anyway, was repeated regular exposure. The more you put yourself out there, pushing your comfort zone, the more you'll see yourself being able to cope in the presence of big crowds. The more relaxed you feel in these situations, the better you'll get at having interesting conversations, even giving speeches!