Are There Any Fears That You Love?

[Salaam]

It seems the general narrative for most people is that "fear is the enemy" or whatever and it kind of gets a bad rap, but do you have any fears that are precious to you, that maybe you even love in the proper context?

I've done a lot of work on myself and the biggest fear I've found is my fear of loss.

It's kind of beautiful actually, that my biggest fear is also my most precious one. I'm afraid to lose what I have or could have, because I care about it. I'm invested and connected to it.

That fear, when balanced with my deep capability becomes a mirror for me and a divining rod, helping me find what I care about, and show me in a more authentic way than I can sometimes muster, how deeply some things really mean to me.

Fear is a helpful thing, when added into the mix in a balanced way. I love how fear makes me more sensitive to a thing, so I can see and process more. I love how it shakes loose rigidity, arrogance, and delusions of grandeur. It reminds me of limitation and fragility, and those are beautiful to, because limitation breeds creativity and fragility breeds beauty (in the right contexts). And all those together create a space for honesty and courage. 

I love this fragile, brutally beautiful world. Where even courage and fear can find a beautiful harmony dancing together.
 

[Henri]

@Salaam This is a nice topic if one loves his fear.

These are the two big `things` one develops and evolves; love and fear. To love the fear is like making one out of two so it must be good! 

But what about fearing the love? Something different. Sounds like love is more essential because it has the capability to unite. Fear has not and that`s only because it has relative existence. When you love the fear, is not the fear gone?

[cetus]

45 minutes ago, Salaam said:

Where even courage and fear can find a beautiful harmony dancing together.
 

"A fearful man dies a thousand deaths, a brave man but one" (no- self doesn't die once )

Edited May 23, 2016 by cetus56

[Salaam]

13 minutes ago, Henri said:

@Salaam This is a nice topic if one loves his fear.

These are the two big `things` one develops and evolves; love and fear. To love the fear is like making one out of two so it must be good! 

But what about fearing the love? Something different. Sounds like love is more essential because it has the capability to unite. Fear has not and that`s only because it has relative existence. When you love the fear, is not the fear gone?

We can't make the mistake of thinking one replaces the other. They don't negate and replace, they mix together. Most people get tunnel-vision when they feel emotions (its a tensile resiliency issue) and think they're only feeling a single feeling, but there is always a mixture of emotions going on. Even if one emotion passes and another one get's a chance to "breathe" it's still having a chemistry with the chemical by-product left over from the previous emotion.

When a person develops a nuanced sensitivity for emotions, they can feel these different mixtures and the different chemistries emotions can have when they're blended together. Internalizing this reality keeps you from lines of thought like "one is more essential than the other". It harmonizes your feelings towards all the emotions, so you don't treat any like an asshole and keep a space for all of them and focus on being creative to find the best mix, rather than running away or trying to "kill" them.

People love comfort for instance, but comfort plus surrender, is the chemistry depression uses to kind of hustle people into accepting/internalizing it's energy pattern into their lives. Because, my mind is fast enough and sensitive enough to see this, I haven't felt surrender emotions in over 2 years and no depression for over 3 years.

Another cool one is blending pain and pleasure. Because, I've connected with scarcity and darkness and deep, deep pain, I can connect all three of those with pleasure so that when I feel pain now, I also feel a small to large bit of pleasure/euphoria. The pleasure doesn't replace the pain, and I'm glad it doesn't, because then I wouldn't be able to tell if my efforts were damaging my internal systems.

You want the best of both worlds for all chemistries, not continually replacing one world for another. If you want to build something, you have to add something. In order to add, you have to see, understand, connect, and care.

Imagine building a house, and if every time you wanted to throw up a wood stud for the foundation, you had to replace the one before it. You'd only ever have one piece of wood just standing there, connected to nothing. You'll never build a house like that.

That's why going from duality to one-ness/non-duality is so stupid. You don't replace a duality, you connect and add so you have a trinity/balance, which becomes a platform for multi-dimensionality.

[Salaam]

double post

Edited May 23, 2016 by Salaam

[Henri]

@Salaam I have no knowledge about what you are telling.

I agree it is not about replacing certain emotions, but about transforming them. I am mainly influenced by Hindu thought on this matter (yoga, Vedanta) and have never before heard things like you are talking about.

What`s the source of this knowledge?

[Azrael]

10 hours ago, Salaam said:

I love this fragile, brutally beautiful world. Where even courage and fear can find a beautiful harmony dancing together.

Interesting, I tend to go in the same direction. As awareness builds up polar thinking develops that basically lets you in on the secret that you can't have up without down, colour without shape, feeling bad without feeling good. They are by their nature one thing playing hide and seek with each other.

When you discover that, one ends up with your attitude @Salaam. Even though you might be hurt in some situations or feels very uncomfortable, you get to know that this really is the ground that it takes to swing back to a state of pleasure and happiness. Experiencing this for a while detaches you from all of that and you will feel in any emotional situation as if an orchestra plays inside your body. You will be astonished by how powerful fear, how shining love and how deepening relaxation is and you never go back.

[Salaam]

18 hours ago, Henri said:

@Salaam I have no knowledge about what you are telling.

I agree it is not about replacing certain emotions, but about transforming them. I am mainly influenced by Hindu thought on this matter (yoga, Vedanta) and have never before heard things like you are talking about.

What`s the source of this knowledge?

You say transforming, but what do you mean by that? Emotions have distinct shapes and patterns that express in concert with other factors and structures that also have distinct shapes and patterns (and roles). They inter-relate and synergize to create larger shapes and patterns, some with harmonious chemistries and some with adversarial ones. It's a constant flow of shifting and building and inter-relating, all the while connected to other things constantly shifting and flowing and inter-relating. 

What I'm saying is think about what you mean by the word transform and how deeply you truly understand the physical composition and sheer number of inter-relative gyrations going on with any change.

Anyways, I'm the source of this knowledge. I work with all of this stuff first hand. I don't know what the hell other people are doing with their meditations, but I used mine to enhance the sensitivities of my awareness so I can feel multiple things in parallel. So I can feel an emotion, plus the physical sensation of its shifts and changes, plus it's attractive/repulsive force. Being aware and sensitive to all three allowed me to learn all three together. Which means becoming sensitive to them, differentiating their nuances, tracking those nuances as they change and inter-relate, and deciphering how the different chemistries of those inter-relations play out as I focus on different things.

This gives me a grounded, realistic way of understanding the fabric of reality.

Basically I track movement and patterns of movement. Movements that occur behind thought in a fraction of a second, with it's own gravity and wave of electromagnetic influence across many, many different contexts. When you do that, you can then sensitize yourself to the structures behind thought, that generate those movements. Which creates a contrast between those structures and the self-contained limitations of your mind, creating a bridge of connection, that expands awareness, via populating your mind/perspective with context and experience from working with these different structures.

Basically, I expand my mind by expanding my senses, because expanding my senses gives me more connections to gain information from, which then feeds my mind with an enhanced perspective or view about reality that I can then re-apply. Each different part, working hand in hand, to help the other expand in ways it could not do alone.

9 hours ago, Arik said:

Interesting, I tend to go in the same direction. As awareness builds up polar thinking develops that basically lets you in on the secret that you can't have up without down, colour without shape, feeling bad without feeling good. They are by their nature one thing playing hide and seek with each other.

When you discover that, one ends up with your attitude @Salaam. Even though you might be hurt in some situations or feels very uncomfortable, you get to know that this really is the ground that it takes to swing back to a state of pleasure and happiness. Experiencing this for a while detaches you from all of that and you will feel in any emotional situation as if an orchestra plays inside your body. You will be astonished by how powerful fear, how shining love and how deepening relaxation is and you never go back.

Yea, sort of. That's some of it...
 

[Salaam]

Found a new favorite fear to love. It's the "fear of being off-balance". 

I love connecting with this fear and joining it with my courage, because it smooths out the split second reactions that would come from surprising things. Not just stressful things, but pleasant and euphoric things, so when the emotions breeze through, the initial off-balance feel doesn't choke out the full breath of the feeling... Objectively speaking, smoothing out those reactions consequently smooths out the chemical/hormonal composition of the actual emotional experience, making what is felt and also stored into long term memory much "cleaner/healthier" or more free of distortion. 

Ahh, nice I'm getting a way, WAY better understanding of what forgetfulness is. My memory retention and recall is going to be off the charts healthy over the next couple years. 

Anyways, the other cool thing about embracing this fear, is getting a better view on the width and breadth of the time spent off-balance contrasted with amount of time in balance, plus the degrees of differentiation and adaption those mixtures can contain, as well as how they've changed over the course of a particular history. 

It's pretty damn cool to see all the ways my voice can change, depending on the qualities of my body and how I respond to its environment. Why? Because when you know what your voice sounds like across such a wide spectrum, you also see where the center of that spectrum lies and how deep that center can go. The Goldilocks zone of my voice.

Who I am is an ocean of shifting tides. To know all of my voices, is to know the core of my voice. The me I am, when I am taking the best care of the integrity of my shape, that holds this shifting expanse.