Overcoming neediness

[Strangeloop]

How to overcome neediness? I seem to get attached to quickly to someone else I bond with. Even on tinder

i either go to one or anothe extremes: neediness and non-neediness

what can I do about it? Do I need to find a middle ground between the two?

[Identity]

Crawl your way to abundance. Self- acceptance goes a long way as well.

[universe]

Accept it, welcome it.

How does it feel. Can you welcome the feeling of not getting any validation anymore? Really feel it.

 

Imagine the worst case szenario. Al your tinder contacts will ghost you forever. Never answer to you anymore. Can you accept that? Just think about it.

 

The problem is not the things you are feeling. The problem is your resistance to it.

Then ask yourself, if you can give yourself love and acceptance. Then give yourself a little more and a little more and even more. See how much you can give yourself. When you reach the endpoint, when you say you cant give yourself any more love and acceptance. Be curious. Why is that? What hinders you? And accept that as well. Repeat.

[Strangeloop]

@universe is there too much love? It's like you give yourself so much love it's starts to annoy you so you start to hate yourself

[Octafish]

In my case I contemplated what a relationship was a whole bunch. I ended up coming to the conclusion that I had a way too binary idea of what it meant to be in love/ in a relationship. If someone doesn't like you it would be super weird to be in a relationship with that person, and the only reason you think you want to is because you made up a version of the person that you're projecting onto them.

The person you are needy about doesn't exist, if someone is uninterested in you you're uninterested in them, you're just telling yourself otherwise.

I don't know how to stop getting attached quickly though, I quite enjoy that actually, but I know damn well that I can't tell what a person is like that quick and that all that I know about them is a projection. If they turn out not to be who I wanted them to be it's just to accept that we were not a good match, but that the early crushing still was worth it because of the opportuinities it could have given.

[universe]

On 16.10.2019 at 7:12 PM, Strangeloop said:

@universe is there too much love? It's like you give yourself so much love it's starts to annoy you so you start to hate yourself

Good question, see how you feel when you ask yourself this question. How is the experience?

Sounds like there is a part in you that you dont want to accept.

[Strangeloop]

@universe Probably I don't want to accept my gay side. The feminine, sensitive, loving, caring side of myself