The Simple Way To Let Go Of Self Limiting Beliefs With Women

[NilsFlair]

 

Today I want to give you an insight into the simple way of letting go of self imposed limitations.

 

Mainly I want you to understand the function that these limiting beliefs serve, and to see that this is the biggest reason why you subconsciously impose limitations on yourself.

 

So to begin, you have to understand that if you have self imposed limitations/limiting beliefs, there is a reason for it. You didn’t just randomly acquire these from out of nowhere, you acquired them to serve a specific purpose, you are just not aware of that right now.

 

And one of the most common reason why you impose self limiting beliefs is to take the weight of responsibility of your shoulders.
 

For example:
If you create a self limiting belief regarding your goals with women, and you believe it to be true, you are completely free of the responsibility of not achieving those goals, because you don’t believe you can, therefore you can take the pressure of yourself.

 

The self limiting belief serves the function of taking the pressure of yourself that you feel in regards of achieving your goals.

 

But you see the problem is that even though it takes of the pressure, it also limits you.

 

It fixes the problem of the pressure but creates the problem of limitation, so in the end it doesn’t solve anything, rather than make you less stressed. It’s not a solution to your situation.

 

You already know that the self limiting belief was not a solution to your problem, but you probably did not know that it is a solution to a problem (the problem of you feeling pressure/having to take responsibility for your goals).

This is the first step in freeing yourself of a self limiting belief.

 

To clearly recognize the function it serves, to see what problem it is trying to solve.

 

The second step is to see how you can solve that problem without the limiting belief.

 

When you do that, there is no purpose for that limiting belief to stick around, the motivational glue that was holding it in place vanishes, and the self limiting belief disappears.

 

In our example above, the function that the self limiting belief served was to take the pressure that you feel about reaching your goals of yourself, by telling you “you don’t have to feel this pressure, because you cannot reach the goal anyway, so just relax”.

 

What you have to do in this situation in order to let go of the limiting belief is to find out a more healthy way of taking the pressure of yourself, without the limiting belief.

Maybe you need to look into why you put so much pressure on yourself regarding your goals?

Maybe you need to look at why you feel such an aversion from taking responsibility for your goals?

Maybe you need to reconsider your goals, did you put them there to impress others? are they your genuine desires or attempts to prove yourself?

There are many ways to take the pressure of yourself in this specific situation.

 

But the important thing is to recognize that the limiting belief in this case was a less functional way of trying to take the responsibility and pressure of your shoulders.

Look into yourself, and you limiting beliefs, ask yourself, what are they giving me? what problem are they trying to solve for me? and how can I solve those problems in a better way?

That’s all!


- Nils Flair

[Knock]

This is good stuff, thanks for sharing@NilsFlair

Could you give an example to illustrate this method?

[NilsFlair]

@Knock  Yes.

Let's say you have the limiting belief that you are not good enough for the girls that you desire.

This limiting belief serves the function that you don't have take responsibility for your desire and go and interact with them, because you already believe that you are not good enough for them, so you will not even have to try.

When you see this correlation clearly, now you can ask yourself why it's so important in your mind to not have to take the responsibility of going and interacting with them.

Let's say that the reason is that you will feel uncomfortable when you actually go to a girl that you like.

Now that you know that, you can go and deal with that emotion.

Like going up to the girl, fully accepting the emotional state of "discomfort" and expressing how you feel and see how things go from there.
 

The key difference that has been made is that you are now dealing with uncomfortable emotions, rather than the belief that you are good enough (which cuts way deeper since when you believe it's true, it's a box you can literally never come out of).

Try it and see how it works

[Raptorsin7]

@NilsFlair Very cool post, I'm going to try it with a bunch of limiting beliefs i have. Any tips on finding out what our limiting beliefs are? Is asking ourselves enough?

[Preety_India]

I would have to agree that approaching someone with the set belief that you are not good enough for them is already very limiting in itself.. And doesn't bring any good results. 

 

If you want fulfillment in life, you have to let go of many limiting beliefs that hold us back from a happy life 

 

[Preety_India]

9 hours ago, NilsFlair said:

@Knock  Yes.

 

The key difference that has been made is that you are now dealing with uncomfortable emotions, rather than the belief that you are good enough (which cuts way deeper since when you believe it's true, it's a box you can literally never come out of).

Try it and see how it works

I especially like this paragraph because it highlights how believing too much in yourself can itself be a limiting belief which is a paradox. So there's a need of a balance. 

[Knock]

13 hours ago, NilsFlair said:

@Knock  Yes.

Let's say you have the limiting belief that you are not good enough for the girls that you desire.

When you see this correlation clearly, now you can ask yourself why it's so important in your mind to not have to take the responsibility of going and interacting with them.

This is great, thanks once again @NilsFlair 

Putting the spotlight on my own beliefs, I can see just how many of them are just convenient stories I tell myself so I don't have to take the uncomfortable action or face an uncomfortable truth. It's a short-term coping strategy I guess. Time to start addressing the underlying issues its trying to mask 

Looks like I have a lot of work to do