Strong feelings of meaninglessness and lack of motivation for anything

[Carson Ford]

All I feel like doing is sitting around in silence and doing nothing with my life. I feellike nothing matters and all I really want to do is run away and disappear. I don't feel connected to family or friends, I feellike my heart is closed off and I'm unable to relate to anyone. I just want to disappear and BE. No desires, no relationships. Totally meaningless is existence. I want to experience death. 

Edited October 13, 2019 by Carson Ford
H

[Carson Ford]

Help. Anyone. I feel like a fuck up and I want to die.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Carson Ford your last post puts a lot of pressure on anyone who may wish to respond... Who wants to risk saying the wrong thing, and making matters worse?...  Especially when life is on the line... 

Still, I am just brazen enough to try to help today:

I belive that somewhere inside you is a passion for something, and that you can find it... That once this smouldering spark is ignited, the flame will burn strongly within you.

I beleive that there is likely a self-made block to your connection, not a conscious choice... I also believe that if you made a conscious choice to be vulnerable and connect (even if you must "fake" the desire to do so at first) that this wall would cruble to pieces...

I hope... that if you choose to spend time in nature, maybe: watching light refract off of a creek and it's ferns, or the sent of the tide's froth as it hits the shore, tasting fresh fruit, or listening to an owl sing to you in the moonlight... That you could teach yourself to see the beauty in all things again...

I believe that you want to live, to thrive, to evolve, and to be content knowing each day is a precious gift, wanting as much time here as you can get...

I have no desire to debate, to be told "all is shit", or to be asked repeatedly for help. This gift of my time, & words are what I have to offer you, and hope you may pause to consider that you have the choice: Beauty and contentment or continuing to suffer in the emptyness you described... 

 

 

[Commodent]

@Carson Ford Same, brother. In the past week or so I have been feeling that my existence is very empty. But from past experiences, I can say that usually something greater arises out of it. Like a phoenix raising from the ashes. A deep realization.

Hang on in there. Trust that what you're currently experiencing right now is exactly what you're meant to experience. There are lots of lessons to be learned, and richness to be felt. Because what you're currently experiencing is just as much a part of the richness of life as anything else. Surrender to it

[denydritz]

Isn't wanting to die a desire in itself? Sitting around in silence is also doing something, isn't it?

You don't feel connected to family or friends, but you do have family and friends.

It means there is life inside of you, seeking to express itself (as the teachings of Abraham Hicks says it).

Have you taken any actions to try and connect with people around you?

From what you've tried, what exactly about it that doesn't work and doesn't build a connection?

[ZenBlue]

Yes there is a sense of meaninglessness to life. That doesn't mean it has to be viewed in a pessimistic or cynical way. The true beauty of life is the love of it. We are alive for the sake of falling in love with life.

If you are being called to sit in silence then that is the direction to head in. Sitting in silence is meditation. It's about stillness and being more so than doing.

[MAYA EL]

13 hours ago, Carson Ford said:

Help. Anyone. I feel like a fuck up and I want to die.

Nothing has changed except your perception of the world you're going to have to get over the fact that you don't like your new understanding of the world and that you can't go back to being happy and ignorant instead now you know a little bit more about reality and you've realized yourself and it's completely normal and thousands of people go through it each year.

 So you're going to have to get over it and find different ways of getting satisfaction and attention other than outwardly expressing that you want to hurt yourself because that's a very unenlightened thing to say because it sounds like you have an extreme desire for attention although you say you have no desires.

There are worse situations you could be in. Hell I could tell you just a few of the hurdles I've had in my life that would probably make your life look like heaven and what's crazy is that there's probably some people on this forum that can do the same to me too.

Suck it up your alive just like everybody else is so don't be a quitter just because the games not fun anymore.

[Surfingthewave]

@Carson Ford You mentioned feelings a lot through out your post. What are these feelings? Who is experiencing these feelings? Receive your feelings then let go of them, this is the I am, the Now. What is meaning/meaninglessness? You have tapped into the source but perhaps you are not quite aware of it's power yet. Wait and see. See and wait. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by Surfingthewave