My Struggles With "self Contemplation"

[GigaWiser78]

Hey everyone, I'll try my best to explain myself properly here, but i'm rather bad at laying down my thoughts so i'll just do my best

Leo Gura's video "how to stop being a victim part 2" he uploaded recently got me thinking and a little inspired to contemplate my "inner self" for lack of a better term

Well, i'm sort of a beginner when it comes to contemplating my internal world as opposed to my external world, and in general I am very bad at organizing my thoughts into a comprehensible self inquiry that can be understood left and right, that is to say I am awful at articulating my thoughts in a constructive manner.

I don't know why this is, but every time I attempt to study something like say the "subconscious mind" and how it can work to improve my life for the better, it's like i'm not smart enough to make any progress at all in learning about the subject. I try to take notes and all, but then my mind just goes "blank" and I can't think of what to write down, nor do I have any insights to speak of

I guess what i'm saying is that i'm struggling with contemplation in general, not just contemplation of my "inner world" as it were, and I feel I am losing confidence in my own mind, so I am wondering if anyone could give me their insights on the matter or approaches that worked best for them

Sorry if i'm not making sense here, I tried to spell my problem out as best I could, let me know if you have any questions, and thanks everyone!

[Henri]

@GigaWiser78 Lack of focus, concentration, creativity, all part of your energy-body.

Find a yoga-teacher to teach you some proper pranayamas, this will definitely help. After two weeks you can learn some meditation. 

 

[GigaWiser78]

@Henri I did always lack focus, maybe meditation is really key for me then

I had to look up what pranayamas even were lol, I suppose i'm not knowledgeable in yoga

I also find it interesting that you suggest "creativity", but i'm not so sure how to water my "creative side" to be honest. I am rather terrible when it comes to being creative in general. Although Philosophernotes.tv did a class on that (I think) so I may check that out

Thanks!

[vizual]

I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself and maybe thinking this thing a bit too seriously. It's very tempting to the mind to take this whole contemplation thing very seriously and invest a lot of concentration and effort in to it. You probably want to do it 'right' or not at all.

But contemplation should be more approached as an art, than a science. Just go to where you curiosity leads you. Write down stupid questions about who you are, why you are where you are at in life, who are people in general, or whatever sparks your imagination. It's all about putting your own reality into a perspective of truth. Your own perspective is unique to you so every self inquiry is different, there is no right answer or approach. It's about the intent of getting to the truth of existence. Now this sounds very serious, but it's not, just try to have fun with it. 

[GigaWiser78]

@vizual Beautifully put man =)

I think you made me just realize that i'm a "perfectionist", and it makes perfect sense to me that i'm serious to a fault as I have always been since childhood

The thing I like most about what you said is "every perspective is unique", and I totally agree that there is no right answer that people can truly discover no matter how hard they really try

I think i'll just grab a warm coffee and simply start jotting stuff down in a light-hearted kinda way! =)

[DJ]

 

I'll quote you and you tell me what part of the problem could be...

 

On 5/23/2016 at 10:04 PM, GigaWiser78 said:

i'm rather bad at laying down my thoughts

 

On 5/23/2016 at 10:04 PM, GigaWiser78 said:

Well, i'm sort of a beginner

 

On 5/23/2016 at 10:04 PM, GigaWiser78 said:

in general I am very bad at organizing my thoughts

 

On 5/23/2016 at 10:04 PM, GigaWiser78 said:

that is to say I am awful at articulating my thoughts in a constructive manner

 

On 5/23/2016 at 10:04 PM, GigaWiser78 said:

it's like i'm not smart enough to make any progress

 

11 hours ago, GigaWiser78 said:

I am rather terrible when it comes to being creative in general

 

[GigaWiser78]

@DJ Well, truth be told, i'm not entirely sure what your asking. If you mean you want me to tell you my opinion on what the problem is, then I suppose that I would say it's like I can't put all my small ideas together in a way that sensibly forms the "big picture" of how all these things relate to each other. I can have several sort of good ideas, but each idea alone usually isn't particularly useful for impacting my life, as well as the fact that I can't put these ideas together in a meaningful and insightful way, sorry if i'm not making sense here

I think the main issue is that I struggle to "organize" my thoughts into a coherent whole

sorry again, but I think I may have comprehension or/and articulation impairment to some degree

[Consept]

@GigaWiser78

Lol you kinda reinforced @DJ s point.

15 hours ago, GigaWiser78 said:

 

I think the main issue is that I struggle to "organize" my thoughts into a coherent whole

sorry again, but I think I may have comprehension or/and articulation impairment to some degree

Sorry to laugh but you put yourself down for not understanding that you're putting yourself down. 

If you can't see it, your issue seems to be that you don't think you're any good and your associating your identity with what you're not good at. So you believe that inherently you're not smart enough to make progress or you're not good at creative writing. 

None of these are actually your problem, your problem is you keep making problems that don't really exist. For example creative writing is a skill, the more you do it the better you'll get (if you practice anything for 20 hours you'll get to a decent standard). But you've already said to yourself you're not good at it, as if naturally you're not, therefore you've failed before the attempt. 

So advice wise, you need to build up your confidence and trust in yourself that you have 2 arms and 2 legs like everyone else and can do these things, don't put yourself at a disadvantage from the go. It's your frame that needs to be changed, the content is irrelevant. Also you should just watch your thoughts and try not to caught up in them, that way you can see the little tricks it does 

[GigaWiser78]

@Consept Oh my gosh, you have no idea how LOW my self confidence is man, I guess I didn't think at all that my confidence reached as far as the domain of being creative, and I believe you have a strong point here.

I love how you pointed out my thoughts as a possible obstacle to my work, and you're right that my inner psychology is what needs changing, not being creative or writing or whatever other skill you could think of. I'll try to be more aware of my thinking rather than becoming stuck in it

I also think trying to be too "perfect" on the first go has always been a problem of mine too, so I have a lot on my plate ha ha

I know meditation is helpful for watching the mind, but I don't really know HOW helpful it is, but I guess i'll try to do that more too

Anyway, thanks everyone, this has all been very interesting for me! =)

[abrakamowse]

First thing you should do is understand that your thoughts are not real most of the time. If you think you are bad at something, you will be bad at that something.

The thing that helped me more to get detached from thoughts and inner critics was mindful meditation. It seems not related at all, but after observing your thoughts without judging them as if they were not your thoughts work wonderfully. You will dominate your thoughts and you won't be dominated by them.

This is the meditation:

 

[GigaWiser78]

@abrakamowse It's funny, after watching the video, I started to actually get a taste for the importance of being in control rather than being pulled by puppet strings all the time

I'll try to detach myself from this "oh I suck so much at insert skill here" identity iv'e got going for myself

Anyway, thanks for the advice!

[GigaWiser78]

@brovakhiin I can still remember when I first started my meditation, it really helped my mind overcome something painful for me; overthinking that is. I used to overthink so much that it was irritable

Aside from meditation, I've just now realized that always searching for the "perfect" trick for whatever it is you do is really just a very sneaky form of procrastination

Lately iv'e started to realize the amazing importance of raising one's awareness of himself, and I start to understand more and more that your self control is only equal to your awareness times your ability to act appropriately to that awareness even if the solution is painful