Posted October 12, 2019 (edited) Facts About Me: I have never been in a relationship or kissed a girl. Im 18 years old. I have a small penis 5 inches and im chubby... I have low self esteem so its hard for me to make friends but i am extraverted (sense of humour and talking to strangers). Im also in a new city for college(starts next year) and i don't have any friends. I've never had any friends either. I don't know where to go from here. The Story: I feel wrong talking about anything sexual with a girl, i feel like it's wrong to have a sexual connection with a girl and i wanted to break that. So i went out and payed a hooker to for some sex and it was terrible! She was HOT but I couldn't get hard and i was super nervous, then i proceeded to put my dick in her vagina and i was so nervous my penis shrank.... Im such a pussy LOL These are my plans: Get ripped abs/chest/biceps/low body-fat Start cold approaching girls at bars and clubs Here is my personality ranking on the BIG 5 MODEL Agreeable 6/10 Neurotic 7/10 Open-mindedness 8/10 Conscientiousness 4/10 Extraversion 6/10 My question to you: How can i start dating, having sex and then finally being able to be comfortable in a relationship? i would love an answer from @Leo Gura but what are the chances of that happening lol. Edited October 12, 2019 by Bridge to Infinity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2019 Love the Title, unique story, you are very open. I think you are facing a dilemma. Do You want Sex or a Relationship? Sure they might come hand in hand, but now that you are in College, you can choose. If you want Sex, go to Parties, Make Your Self the Person you want to be, Build Confidence, Use Tinder... Date... If you want a Relationship, do the things you like, Go Out and Socialize, Make a Friend, Become Best friends... Sex... Regardless, work on You. Write Steps that should be taken to achieve the goals desired. Above all, Just Love Thyself. Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream? - Edgar Allen Poe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2019 (edited) @Chakra Lion 2 hours ago, Chakra Lion said: I think you are facing a dilemma. Do You want Sex or a Relationship? I want to get good at sex first, i don't feel comfortable being in a relationship yet. 2 hours ago, Chakra Lion said: If you want Sex, go to Parties, Make Your Self the Person you want to be, Build Confidence, Use Tinder... Date... If you want a Relationship, do the things you like, Go Out and Socialize, Make a Friend, Become Best friends... Sex... You make it sound very simple, the thing is... i can't just go to parties. I literally know no one, and im not in college yet. "Make a friend" that sounds like some wizardry to me. 2 hours ago, Chakra Lion said: Regardless, work on You. Write Steps that should be taken to achieve the goals desired. Above all, Just Love Thyself. Thanks for the effort but....you're advice is just pointing out obvious things that i already knew. Edited October 12, 2019 by Bridge to Infinity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 12, 2019 Girls get attracted to masculine energy. having masculine energy is all about being really grounded in your body, being able to hold tension and play with the tension. Being the container that makes it safe for women to express their femininity. I'd say go talk to strangers, men and women, actively start feeling your body and become really grounded while having a normal conversation. Then try to build up to not needing an excuse to go talk to people and just go expose yourself to tension with random people. Eventually you'll notice that you become comfortable with it and you automatically start playing with it. You'll notice it then becomes a lot easier to connect with people and build connections. You'll grow your masculinity by challenge. There's no shortcut. It seems important to you. Go for it. Attraction is all about energy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 Learn to dissociate from yourself a little. Stop focusing on what you look like and your shortcomings and just be in the moment, talk to people. Anyone and everyone. Make friends, it's a start. You clearly need to get out of your shell. I used to be pretty overweight and shy but as I started eating healthier and losing weight and bettering myself and learning to love the people around me and accept myself for who I was, I grew into a social butterfly. There is no "I'm not this kind of person", you're any kind of person you set your mind to. Lose the idea that you're set to be a certain way and realize that it's all a big placebo, you're only what you tell yourself you are. Fake it till you make it. It doesn't just come to you out of nowhere, you gotta push yourself to step outside your comfort zone. Best of luck to you my friend Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 Good luck man. If you put forth the effort you will achieve what you want. Start going to the gym and start eating healthier. Learn how to change your mindset and learn how to act in a different then how you are acting now. In order for your life to change, YOU NEED TO CHANGE IT, if you stay committed you will see signs in your everyday life that will call you to be a better person. Act on those challenges and you will get there. I have faith, you sound like an awesome person. I love your attitude in this post. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 You are very young so you got plenty of time to work all that out. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 13 hours ago, Chakra Lion said: If you want Sex, go to Parties, Make Your Self the Person you want to be, Build Confidence, Use Tinder... Date... If you want a Relationship, do the things you like, Go Out and Socialize, Make a Friend, Become Best friends... Sex... I noticed something with these two statements. It is possible that they could come together as one and the result is painful. Life can work in weird ways. Things that are totally different can come together as one and you won't even expect that. See movie: Up in the Air, Starring George Clooney. It's a great pointer movie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 13 hours ago, Bridge to Infinity said: Facts About Me: I have a small penis 5 inches and im chubby... I've never had any friends either. Don't worry about the first point. Since you are 18 i'm guessing you've grown up watching a lot of porn with massive schlongs in right? Because 5 inches is actually normal. 5-6 inches is the regular ol' standard size. So thats a non issue you can stop worrying about that, instantly solved because its not a problem! On the 2nd point, can you elaborate a bit on that? Do you live with a large family? Do you have Brothers and Sisters (and of your age)? Were you homeschooled? Been a member of any clubs/activities/sports? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 (edited) @still_no_satori to clarify the second point... I live alone in a new city which means that i'm far away from my family. Growing up i never had any friends. People would go places and not invite me. People would form friend groups and i never seemed to be able to get into one. I live the majority of my life alone, and i never had any friendship-connection with a person. Edited October 13, 2019 by Bridge to Infinity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 @Leo Gura Put yourself in my shoes... You're uncomfortable just being friends with people let alone being intimate. You're fat and have no sexual experience. what's the first thing you would do? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 @Dlavjr 6 hours ago, Dlavjr said: There is no "I'm not this kind of person", you're any kind of person you set your mind to. Lose the idea that you're set to be a certain way and realize that it's all a big placebo, you're only what you tell yourself you are. Fake it till you make it. It doesn't just come to you out of nowhere, you gotta push yourself to step outside your comfort zone. Best of luck to you my friend Yes! thanks for the insight! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 To pay for sex is a great idea if you are a hard case like you are. Its obvious that if you are anxious, nervous and socially ackward you wont get an erection because is scientifically impossible. When you are nervous in front of a hot girl and you are scared you are in fly/fight mode and full of adrenaline, this kills erection and any chance of orgasm, its antagonic. But going with hookers is pure therapy better than any psychologycs because youll lose the fear of being physical with women and youll get comfortable with them and sex. The thing is have 3-4 sessions with the same hooker/scort and get confident, set familiarity and youll feel comfortable, start kissing huging, and then try your fantasies. This will destroy your wrong beliefs about girls that your parents and TV told you. Youll learn that girls dont bite, they are human like you and like sex and is right. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 (edited) @Moreira Thanks, i'll fuck some more hookers. LOL Jokes aside, that's also how i think about it... that i should try it out with hookers and get comfortable with sex then i wouldn't mess up a connection i build with a woman just because i'm not comfortable with sex. Edited October 13, 2019 by Bridge to Infinity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 3 hours ago, Bridge to Infinity said: @Leo Gura Put yourself in my shoes... You're uncomfortable just being friends with people let alone being intimate. You're fat and have no sexual experience. what's the first thing you would do? I was exactly in your shoes at your age. First thing I did was drop 65 pounds. Then, later, I started learning about how to attract women. You need a lot more socialization experience. You need to put yourself into social environments and practice socializing, not only with women but also with men. At 18 years old you're not supposed to have sexual experience. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said: At 18 years old you're not supposed to have sexual experience. How come? what is your opinion on this topic. What age do you think people should have sexual experiences. And wouldn't that be different for every person? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 @Bridge to Infinity I have had a first kiss and sexual interaction at 19 years old. I don't think it was late or anything. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 22 minutes ago, Bridge to Infinity said: How come? what is your opinion on this topic. What age do you think people should have sexual experiences. And wouldn't that be different for every person? Your teenage years are more exploration in regards to sex, most likely all the sex you'll have will be unconscious and pretty bad. I lost my virginity around 16/17 and it was pretty rough the first handful of tries. Even when I got better, I still had no idea what I was doing. Sex is an art, you don't master it right away. Don't even worry about sex, the more you obsess over it, the more likely you are to get cold feel when it happens. Focus on self improvement. Hit the gym, better your diet, learn piano or something. Sex for women is all a mind game, it's not like with men where we're more excited by the physical act of sex, which is why men care way more about penis size than women do. Do yourself a favor, don't watch porn. It's clearly given you unrealistic expectations for sex. People can start exploring sexually at any age, but when you're young it tends to be more egotistical rather than an intimate moment. You have your whole life ahead of you, just relax. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 13, 2019 29 minutes ago, Bridge to Infinity said: How come? what is your opinion on this topic. What age do you think people should have sexual experiences. And wouldn't that be different for every person? It means girls you are dating wont expect you to be a sex god. So your way of thinking that you need to be "good at sex" before you want to get into a relationship puts unnecessary stress onto you. Socialize and just stay confident. Id guess the biggest problem you have right now is your mindset. Notice how when you talk to others you already assume they wont like you, so you may not even start talking to them or break contact very fast. Notice how when talking to a girl, her giving you the slightest sign of not being interested makes you sweat. Even tho she might like you. So be chill, assume they like you and have fun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2019 @Girzo On 10/13/2019 at 2:45 PM, Girzo said: @Bridge to Infinity I have had a first kiss and sexual interaction at 19 years old. I don't think it was late or anything. HAH! you fucking virgin! I am of course kidding. I, just like you do not buy into the notion of losing your virginity just for the sake of "not being late relative to my friends". However Sexuality is in my opinion something that should be experimented with as soon as you feel mature enough. Safely Ofcourse. Taking too much time not expressing and experiencing sexuality can lead to resentment and frustration as well as feelings of abnormality and seclusion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
