I'm extremely awkward around girls and not a single technique is working. Why?

[The Don]

Hello.

This week I was working and I have an attractive female colleague who came up to talk to me about something that's related to the job we're doing.

At that moment I noticed feelings of extreme awkwardness bubbling up and our conversation didn't work out too well. I felt anxious.

I could see how she started to feel me as being awkward and she got awkward too. She picked up on my awkward emotions.

She became awkward too because of me. Do you guys know what I'm saying? It was an awful moment.

I need to overcome this. I can't go on like this. I'll never be able to be in a relationship as long as I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

At a rational level I know I have nothing to worry about when talking to pretty girls, but when I get around them, something from my subconscious mind is making me awkward.

It's something that I can't control.

What should I be doing about this?

[outlandish]

Don't look for techniques, I don't think there are too many because it just comes down to practice. Just talk to girls more and more and eventually it's less of a big deal. Talk to girls, slow down, talk to girls, be chill.

If things get awkward just remember that they don't have to remain awkward. Awkwardness is a tension, and if you can come up with a stupid joke it can break that tension, sometimes a sense of humour helps a lot. Or it could make it even more awkward and then you have a great story to tell about that time you were so fucking awkward. It's normal to have some awkward social interactions, just move on. 

Just make sure that if you're getting awkward that you are being non-threatening. That's the most important thing. Stay aware of her space, don't close her in or anything like that. If you're awkward and clearly without ill intention, some girls will take it as a compliment. 

I'm old and have spent so much time around really beautiful women, dated a few really hot women, and have an extremely attractive wife, but I still get awkward around attractive women sometimes. So it never goes away completely. It's fine, you can embrace the tension, it's there for a reason, because there is energy, and then just let it go (see Leo's vid!) as much as you can. And as much as you can't, that's ok too, it's part of being human.

[The Don]

3 minutes ago, outlandish said:

It's fine, you can embrace the tension, it's there for a reason, because there is energy, and then just let it go (see Leo's vid!) as much as you can.

Thanks for the advice.

What's @Leo Gura's video? I wanna see it.

[outlandish]

Just now, The Don said:

Thanks for the advice.

What's @Leo Gura's video? I wanna see it.

The Power Of Letting Go

[The Don]

11 minutes ago, outlandish said:

Stay aware of her space, don't close her in or anything like that.

I'm not getting close to her. She is approaching me.

But when I get awkward, some of these girls get awkward too. Why is that? Why are they getting awkward when I'm starting to get awkward around them?

Edited October 11, 2019 by The Don

[outlandish]

@The Don girls get awkward too lol! Awkwardness can be a feedback cycle. 

[The Don]

3 minutes ago, outlandish said:

@The Don girls get awkward too lol! Awkwardness can be a feedback cycle. 

The last girl I talked to was displaying signs of nervousness around me.

You know when they place their fingers on the neck or compressing their lips.

What I mean is pacifying behavior.

[outlandish]

18 minutes ago, The Don said:

The last girl I talked to was displaying signs of nervousness around me.

You know when they place their fingers on the neck or compressing their lips.

What I mean is pacifying behavior.

Oh that means she's in love with you  jk

Don't worry about it, don't read into it too much. Just let it go, and talk with her.

[Identity]

Get a bunch or shrooms, set a clear intention of facing your fears and obstacles around girls. Surrender completely to your intention. Be willing to die to overcome the obstacles. 
 

Edited October 11, 2019 by Identity

[Commodent]

It all comes down to abundance vs. scarcity mindset.

[The Don]

11 hours ago, Identity said:

Get a bunch or shrooms, set a clear intention of facing your fears and obstacles around girls. Surrender completely to your intention. Be willing to die to overcome the obstacles. 
 

Have you ever taken psychedelics?

[Sonya]

Expose yourself to pretty girls as much as you can and do it on purpose. If you see a pretty girl on the street, go up to her and ask her something or compliment her hair or clothing (don't compliment body or face sruff because she was born with it, compliment something that she has worked on), you can ask her out as well. You have to put yourself in situations that pretty girls reject you enough so you know how it feels many times and become comfortable with it, be mindful while doing it. Once you do that to 150 pretty girls, you'll never feel awkward around them again I promise.

[Identity]

@The Don Yup, Ive doen around 40 psylocibin trips over the last three years. I attrivute a great deal to shrooms for improving my situation with girls.

Besides the shrooms I also did a lot of pick-up though, it kinda build on each other.

[JonasVE12]

Bro, you need to let your nervous system adapt by changing the way you handle your energy when interacting with these girls. Notice that when you are fully relaxed, in your body, calm, and suddenly you come face to face with a beautiful girl, your energy moves up to your head, and you become really ungrounded. 

It's a proces of adaptation to a more healthy response from your nervous system. If it happens again, ALLOW it. Stay with the feeling. Allow it to be there. Don't label it. Don't judge it. Just see it for what it is. Don't hide it from the girl. Let her see it. That's the most masculine thing to do. Allowing yourself to be with that feeling. After you allowed it, it fades.

Then, start practicing feeling into your body when you talk to girls. Consciously focus on your body and imagine yourself being grounded just like a tree with it's roots in the ground. You'll notice your energy becoming much more grounded. After you do this a lot, your nervous system starts to learn that pretty girls aren't actually as scary as you first thought they were.

Practice grounding yourself in social situations a lot. Go put yourself in tension a lot. You'll become very comfortable with it after a while, and you automatically start playing with it. Automatically you flow more with people and that way it's easier to connect.