Making myself Gay

[Strangeloop]

In the last year I had this thought come up "I'm gay and I accept it" out of the blue. And ever since I had these times when it's hard to think and I have all kinda of feelings overrun my psyche. In these time I think about being gay, I cry sometimes. Or I just have a giant feeling of Fear. 

What do I mean by saying I'm making myself gay? Well first of all I talk to myself like I would be talking to another person face to face. I say you have to be gay, be gay and such it's better to be gay. 

I say that you're going to suck a dick, you gonna be fucked in the ass all these kind of things. And then I just laugh like a mad man. It's crazy, I already had been putting my finger in my asshole so it's just a proof that I'm gay. 

I also have this program installed in my mind which is saying three things

1. I'm straight

2. I'm very straight

3. I'm not gay

so it's very contractiding and hypocritical. I keep saying affirmations with these 3 things. No matter how hard I try my shadow still catches me and I can't help it. He's pushing me to be gay and I don't want it. Please help. I'm lost in my sexuality. All I can do is wait for the inevitable until I put a dick in my mouth...

I fucking hate this... it's driving me nuts, I'm such a hypocrite and I can't help myself. Everytime I try to think my thoughts go to another place where it makes no sense. I could ask God for help as I'm a "hardcore christian" which propably is just another thing to deprogram.

Everything is according to plan I guess. I even watched gay porn and had a boner while doing it, masturbated but didn't finish to it. Here's another proof I'm gay.

I look at other men and see their feminine side, even visual looks like lips face and body kinda attracts me towards them. I really need to change perspective about being gay.

All of these thoughts about being God and everything. If I'm God that means I'm everyone around me - including gay people, transexual people etc. It makes me gay and transexual these thoughts. It is either an ideology or I just really want some dick. 

I can't find the distinction between joke and serious talk. Please help me...

 

[Forestluv]

To me this seems like social conditioning that homosexuality is somehow unnatural, weird, deviant, immoral etc. With that conditioning, of course homophobic fears may arise. Once that underlying conditioning is cleared out, new doors of exploration open up. For example, sexuality is not bimodal - gay vs. straight. Sexuality is a spectrum. A person may have attractions to both the same and opposite sex, yet might not want to get into a relationship and have physical sex with the same sex. As well, one is open to explore their own masculine and feminine energies. Personally, I have a mix of both and their is a certain type of male and trans-female I have attraction to - yet that attraction isn't strong enough to pursue a relationship and have physical sex with them. For others, it's a different. We all have our own unique mix of femine/masculine energy and attractions to others. 

[Girzo]

Why can't you be bisexual? I prefer to pursue girls romantically but find some guys attractive too. I have one friend who is bi and has kissed guys but has a fiancee now.

Being attracted to both males and females at once might be more common than you think and it doesn't automatically mean you have to be in a gay relationship.

[outlandish]

I think your "hardcore christian" and cultural background has made you very scared of being gay, and that has built it up into a bit of a fetish for you. You might be a bit gay, or fully gay, or maybe not even gay at all but built up this complex. It sounds like you're going to have to experiment to really find out what you're into. It's going to be hard given your cultural programming, but I think once you give up resistance and accept the possibility you're going to have a much easier time.

It's OK if you're gay, it's also OK if you're not, it's OK to not have to define it either way, and just be into what you're into.

[The Don]

If everybody would be gay, nobody would get married to the opposite sex and people would stop having children.

When we stop having children, we don't reproduce ourselves and the population is starting to age.

When we don't realize that life is temporary and that there are only three generations at every moment, Western Civilization dies.

People aren't conscious of the fact the life is short and that family and children are fundamental to our society.

Link: "US fertility rate is below the level needed to replace population, study says".

Edited October 11, 2019 by The Don

[Bill W]

1 hour ago, The Don said:

If everybody would be gay, nobody would get married to the opposite sex and people would stop having children.

When we stop having children, we don't reproduce ourselves and the population is starting to age.

When we don't realize that life is temporary and that there are only three generations at every moment, Western Civilization dies.

People aren't conscious of the fact the life is short and that family and children are fundamental to our society.

Link: "US fertility rate is below the level needed to replace population, study says".

So basically it would make sense that the gay population increased as it would help the overpopulation of the Earth. 

[outlandish]

Gays have kids too, but it's true that homosexuals have lower average fecundity than the heterosexuals. That's why major religions and dominant cultures tend to come down so hard on homosexuality, it's counter to the survival of the tribe, when that tribe is competing in numbers with the next one. But at this stage of the earths development, it's vital to the survival and thrival of humanity as a whole that we abandon these old negative attitudes towards gays.

[Forestluv]

1 hour ago, The Don said:

If everybody would be gay, nobody would get married to the opposite sex and people would stop having children.

When we stop having children, we don't reproduce ourselves and the population is starting to age.

When we don't realize that life is temporary and that there are only three generations at every moment, Western Civilization dies.

People aren't conscious of the fact the life is short and that family and children are fundamental to our society.

Link: "US fertility rate is below the level needed to replace population, study says".

This is so 1970s. . . 

A small minority of every species of insect and animal are homosexual. It is completely normal and natural and does not threaten the survival of the species.

Even if all humans were gay, it would be incredibly simple and easy to impregnate women. Gay people want to raise children just like straight people do.

[Light Lover]

@Serotoninluv Exactly!

[The Don]

1 hour ago, Serotoninluv said:

This is so 1970s. . . 

A small minority of every species of insect and animal are homosexual. It is completely normal and natural and does not threaten the survival of the species.

Even if all humans were gay, it would be incredibly simple and easy to impregnate women. Gay people want to raise children just like straight people do.

Okay.

But people are having fewer and fewer children.

This outcome can not be good.

[Bill W]

53 minutes ago, The Don said:

Okay.

But people are having fewer and fewer children.

This outcome can not be good.

It's definitely good. Have you not heard that there are too many people on Earth? 

[The Don]

8 hours ago, Bill W said:

It's definitely good. Have you not heard that there are too many people on Earth? 

Yes. That's true. But not in the Western world.

[Dlavjr]

I mean in my opinion the further you get to reaching enlightenment the less you really care about labelling sexuality. If you rid yourself of dogma entirely, rid yourself of all beliefs and just live authentically, an orgasm is an orgasm. If you fuck a guy, and you enjoy it, does it matter that it's a guy? Orgasm is orgasm. And honestly, all that psychological bullshit that you're feeding yourself might convince you that you're gay, but until you're face to face with a penis and the choice is 'to suck or not to suck" I think that's the ultimate test. Experiment with a guy, see what happens. Stop labelling sexuality or acting like there's a certain way it needs to be. We're pretty primal creatures, honestly I think if humans were to be stripped from all the beliefs and rules we've set for ourselves through politics, religion, and societal "norms" we'd be having orgies a hell of a lot more often. Hell that's how things used to be in earlier civilizations predating Christianity. 

[MuddyBoots]

11 hours ago, The Don said:

Yes. That's true. But not in the Western world.

There is an ageing population in some countries more because straight people are having fewer kids, than an increase in LGBTQ+ people surely? There's no need to project this issue onto the other group. Why are us straights having fewer kids? I've not researched it, but this smells like it is connected with stage blue to orange transition. Like the rise in immigration, more workers are needed to feed the orange growth machine. Perhaps we're just now discovering the limitations of orange. 

[Bridge to Infinity]

@Strangeloop Fap to gay porn and talk to gay guys. do it i dare you 

Edited October 12, 2019 by Bridge to Infinity

[Strangeloop]

@Bridge to Infinity yeah yeah