Spiritual Bucket List This Week - My Spiritual Life

[Preety_India]

My journal henceforth is going to be spirituality mixed with some emotional stuff. I understood that being a woman the emotional stuff is sort of a huge release ...

 

I'm going to have to divide this into two parts. One I'll call the spirituality bucket. The other I will call the life bucket that deals with everyday real life stuff and some emotional stuff thrown into it for therapeutic reasons. 

 

 

Edited November 5, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Sometimes he is so sweet to me like this gif. I miss him 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I want to write a rap lyric on the destruction in the world. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

If you never had a good time in your relationship then it wasn't a good relationship. 

 

That's all. 

 

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

It was just so relatable like so relatable. I kinda forgot it completely. But it was so relatable. 

I was watching this interview and it hit me....like this is what my life was . My life was that ... exactly that ... I never learned. Never noticed ...

17 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I also wanted to discuss this snowball effect in life. Where things go wrong in your life and then they continue to go wring like a chain reaction set up. Especially with health problems 

 

In my childhood every day was like a bad day. There were no good days.  So sometimes it feels like this whole life is a journey of waking up to a bad day . Like you are living just to feel bad every day. You are sick of feeling sick everyday. 

It was something like you never realize that every day was a bad day .you never had a good day in life.  You were the guinea pig. Like everything happens to finally make your day go bad. Like every day there is a new reason for the day to be bad...yes yes yes yes .finally I got it .I was writing exactly that ...everybday is a reason and some shit happens like it's planted on purpose like the devil wants you to have a bad day so shit happens to give you a bad time ..all that you will ever get will be pointless waste of time and pain and agony . 

It's like you need to let go. If someone bullied you , finally it's your loss even if you tried fighting hard against the haters,it's not gonna work . Because finally they are all having a good time. And you are the one who suffered. So no point in engaging them. 

They will want to engage you even more ,create more drama because they don't lose anything and as they watch you suffer they delight , they can waste their time on you and go about with their stuff like nothing happened and emerge out feeling great with no impact on their health yet you will be the person who goes home feeling distressed and hurt and the cycle continues with you being the ultimate sufferer and loser because you're the sucker who succumbs to their attacks and preying on your fragility . Their drama  will continue forever but you will come out of it with kidney failure .... Kidney failure being a pseudonym for extreme stress and body harm and major health scare as a result of the emotional stress.... 

You become a dummy when you waste your time on them and let your time be ruined. When you let your time be ruined ,when you let your day be ruined , you give power to those whose purpose was to give you a bad day , a bad time at first it only looks like a bad day and nothing much, but over time it builds into a massive stressor as it goes on every day,that's what my f*cking mom did, that's what my f*cking mom did .... bullied me all along, intense mental abuse and shit ...and I never realized that only I am going to be the loser and not her while she carries on like her life is great meanwhile destroying mine. Yea even the school bullies do the same thing to you. Even people at the workplace. Social media. It's tough. But remember one lesson. You are the one who is at the receiving end of their drama and tactics. They will escape off light. While you will simmer under that stress. And when this psycho-mental-emotional stress builds up every day recurrently over a period of time without you noticing it or aware of it, it starts to wreck  your health and gobble you up and slowly eat into you,taking pieces away one at a time, slowly steadily,until you reach a point of such damage that a return looks impossible. Yea ye yea yea exactly that....that's the kidney failure point...the last point where even if you tried to save yourself, there is no saving because the ultimate harm is done and now you can only have damage control but no damage reversal....I wish there was a strong brave young girl who would just stand upright against bullying and throw a smack into the faces of bullies and just explain it out what horrible damage they do and effing teach them a good lesson so they don't come around trying to look good again and escape with their sociopathic shit...like no one got the right to treat others bad and give them a hard time.  Got no time to deal with that hate. I wish there were more role models trying to take up a cause that someone is dealing with and help them out especially if that person is unaware or blind to their problems and just knock sense into them and help them out to have a better life. That would be awesome. 

Because you don't have to live a life to feel bad about  yourself every day .that's not what life is for. If you are in that type of a place where you are feeling bad about yourself every day where you are made to look like the wrong person then get out of that place . Get out of that relationship if it's the relationship that makes you feel like you are wrong all the time . You did nothing wrong to deserve that. And there are people out there those mean sick bullies who want to make you miserable because that's their goals and they delight in your misery and pain and you allow the whole cycle because you don't realize it's only hurting you, just avoid whatever is hurting you and go in ICU mode... Don't let anyone bother you... 

And remember the most important lesson is  that they are all going to have a good time they will escape unscathed, and you will pay the price for nothing and you will be targeted for nothing. And they will get off it. While you suffer. And they will justify your downspiral as something you deserve because of their fake assumption and demonization of you that you should deserve it which is absolutely wrong or they will show that you are the cause of your own misery that you brought it on because there is something wrong with you that is causing it, a favorite is mental illness even when you are not mentally ill.......but they have to show that to dismiss you and ridicule you. It's their strategy. They feed on that. They know how to keep a nice front..... And they are good at being backdoor bullies because behind doors they are absolutely terrible but in front they have a good reputation it's all narcissism and people never get to see their real side. Don't be in a narcissistic abusive relationship where you are always humiliated and made to look like a bad person,be with people who appreciate you,let the devil fail each time he wants to manipulate.. remember whatever they do is manipulation because at first they want you and use you for their purpose and after the use is done they want to turn around and bully you and poke fun at you and feed on your fragile mental state because they want to look great at your expense. And you are the preferred target,why, because another person will expose them and make them suffer but you can't and they can easily see that. . that's why they can choose to harm you and it does good because it's working as long as you are suffering ...so don't back down . Don't let them win and have yourself suffer. Life is not to be lived feeling bad about yourself everyday and even an enemy wouldn't want that for you so a person who hopes you suffer for whatever silly justification in their mind is obviously bringing bad karma on themselves and giving you a hard time for the sake of hating you. Making you look bad or horrible. (I'm not going to kiss and make up )....don't succumb to that "I must be bad and so I deserve it " bullshit...it's the narcissist's favorite weapon to feel great about himself./herself..

The cute thing would be to just laugh it off in their face and make them see how silly and immature high schoolish they are.  ..and going on about your life with utmost maturity and dumping them and never kissing their ass so they are the losers in the end ,making them realise how they would lose people with their bullshit and how it's inexcusable. They can't go around bullying and expecting others to put up with that without repercussions. Karma comes.always..

 

And because you had such a bad time in life and you never had a good day to count, that's the reason why you never realize how much harm it is actually causing you,You see it as a daily grind which is farthest from the Truth ,the truth is that if you had a great life then you would actually realize how toxic this whole thing is how much it is sapping from you and how much it has already drained you and it would be a big deal and you would absolutely hate and take urgent action to get out of it but since you are used to having a bad time most of the time, you don't realize how much bad it really is for your health and you just get used to putting up with it whereas another person (who is having a great time in life )in your place would have completely escaped from it and removed themselves from it and never engaged with it ever again.... Such people have a healthy sense of self esteem because of their good circumstances and supportive people around them who don't let them feel bogged down and help them up so they don't have to remain stuck with abusive manipulative narcissistic bullies. They can set themselves free and live their fantastic life away from energy drainers aka bullies . These are nothing but energy drainers and time wasters and shit starters who take pieces out of your life. They are by no means decent and they should be kept at Bay and if they do not and continue to harass then there should be legal action against them . 

 

 

(Because he doesn't have any self respect or integrity and nobody can cure that part )

You know what, if you have to feel bad about yourself every day with those people then you can do better in life especially away from them. 

Trust yourself. You can do better... You can do way better. You deserve better. And you will do better once you are away from such drainers.   You are going to feel awesome and you will discover yourself once you learn to disappoint those who try to bring you down. 

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

This is so funny. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Real people have real values. And real values represent Christ   

And with good intentions come good outcomes. 

So with real people comes real change. Sadly real people are going extinct and fake is increasingly becoming the norm. 

 

[Preety_India]

So what's the reason for a bad day today lol

[Preety_India]

Daniel Craig insists he is far grumpy, despite what people say - but isn't interesting in changing what they think. 

But the actor admits he makes very little effort to try and change perceptions of him.

Craig  : “I don’t do much to dispel it, because I’d just be chasing my tail to prove that I’m not the person people think I am.

 

 

“You know, I probably don’t have a particularly good public persona. I just grew up in an era when, if you were trying to be an artist, you didn’t look for approval. You didn’t look for likes. You just did your thing. And this? This is what I do

 

 

Some do. Some can go on talk shows and tell stories, but I’m just not wired that way. I don’t know what to say.

“I can try, but people would go, ‘What’s he doing?’ They’d go, ‘Where is the grumpy 

“But I’m not grumpy. Genuinely, I’m not. I love what I do.”

 

“I can try, but people would go, ‘What’s he doing?’ They’d go, ‘Where is the grumpy 

“But I’m not grumpy. Genuinely, I’m not. I love what I do.”

 This was a wonderful example of being authentic in life. I see characters in real life that incorporate parts of spirituality into their daily lives unconsciously. They also represent ancient values. 

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The next person I see on my bucket list who is very inspiring ahmm at least by looks I would say is Charlie Puth. 

I love to study certain faces. Some faces look very artistic. 

via Imgflip Meme Generator

 

via Imgflip Meme Generator

 

via Imgflip Meme Generator

 

via Imgflip Meme Generator

 

via Imgflip Meme Generator

 

 

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

these are the 

how does a person turn out to be good and the other bad. What causes this change in person to person . I know that parental upbringing and culture and genetic factors play a huge role but I'm also aware that there is more than only these. The nature of the spirit of how's it's acquired is a huge mystery

the next mystery is the transformation. How does a transformation occur. That certain people when they are placed in certain circumstances they learn to survive and adapt and this causes spontaneous mutation and adaptation and transformation. I will call this spontaneous transformation. Yet this does not happen all the time. Certain harsh conditions can elicit a fatal response rather than invoke an adaptation response. Which means those harsh conditions can prove fatalistic and the person dies. There is no scope for adaptive mutation. So here is the mystery. What's the exact point that decides the difference between adaptive and fatalistic and how does this mutation or adaptive training occur. What set of conditions or caveats are needed for such a spontaneous beneficial or protective transformation to take place. There is always a threshold point. Below this threshold limit, the circumstances make you stronger. Beyond this threshold limit the circumstances can be fatalistic and cause demise.. ..

The third mystery is about good and evil. Whether there is a good side to evil. 

 

I don't know how to question morality. This has been tough on me. To question morality. It's a struggle. If right or wrong is eternal and truth of the universe or if it's only invented for social reasons and has no divine aspect to it. This is just another mystery out of all the mysteries of life . 

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm observing more qualities that are desirable 

One is skepticism and critical thinking.. This quality is as negative as I used to think

Second is straightforwardness. It's admirable and a sort of courage. 

The quality of seeing the bigger picture 

The quality of being productive 

The quality of selfish gain but more about maximizing productivity and suitability. 

The quality of being honest. 

The quality of focusing on career and work and connecting it to self esteem self worth and proving oneself in the world 

Being honest and loyal and dedicated in love. 

Making things work in life. 

 

What I want to call these....these are supplementary qualities and they are equally important and great as standard qualities like kindness and humility.. 

 

But there is more. I have tried to dig into evil and the nature of evil and I think that evil can also be used for something good. In order to take down evil one has to also do evil things. For taking down an evil oppressor and bring justice it will be necessary to use evil and destroy the evil. This is how I think that evil will serve a good purpose. 

Like someone is harassing your loved one you would want to defend their life and will have to hurt the person who was harassing your loved one. 

But along with standard qualities that help shape a personality these supplementary qualities give a stark value, a huge value to the personality. 

So there is no way to forget or abandon these qualities. Along with essential survival skills. 

The qualities that define evil can also be sanitized and used to bring good. These qualities can be separately categorized as residual qualities. These are needed in faint or slight amounts but they are not to be misused at all. Because they can be very destructive and potent. So they are to be handled by an expert. Like skillfully handling a huge bottle of burning acid and using only 1 drop of it and not mishandling it or it will erode the whole desk surface. 

One popular way in which an evil quality is used for good outcomes is questioning a criminal and manipulating his mind to obtain the truth.. I have discussed this before but I don't remember. I think I called it qualities of acquisition because it's mainly associated with acquiring something as a gain. 

I will now keep describing adjacent or supplementary qualities and distinct examples and traits or attitudes of people with such qualities and how they exhibit these attitudes. Also how wonderfully beneficial these supplementary attitudes are. 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

So i do focus on 4 major qualities like wise good strong brave. These are major. 

I don't know how to question morality. This has been tough on me. To question morality. It's a struggle. If right or wrong is eternal and truth of the universe or if it's only invented for social reasons and has no divine aspect to it. This is just another mystery out of all the mysteries of life . 

But I will try to divide qualities into five  subsets. 

1 One is core qualities which are moralistic. 

2 The second is survival qualities or essential skills ..

3 The third is supplementary qualities that complement perfectly with other qualities and bring a stunning outcome. I will call these battleship qualities. 

4 Third is aquisition qualities . Some of these are not exactly moral but they are a means to an end. So it's the ends justify the means .for example lying to get your goals. 

5 The last qualities are supreme qualities. These keep a smooth equilibrium going on and they are very extremely high on the list and these are very almost godly but not in a moral way but in a divine intelligence kind of way. These are of supreme intelligence and almost very striking like psychic qualities. 

 

Also when I think about the word victorious if I say individual victory it would mean selfishness. But victory of all would make more sense. Because you are now more empathetic to the needs of others as well. So you are not being self centered or giving into one upmanship. Thinking for everyone makes an excellent leader and allows the whole team to win..this way order is restored. This means being empathetic and self sacrificial. 

 

 

Edited November 6, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

So after observing and visualizing these qualities and how they impact and bring together a stunning outcome in life like a beautiful heroic life I was thinking the ultimate quality. That will Trump all qualities. 

A Master is who studies only one subject. But a student is someone who studies all subjects. And takes whatever he needs for the time being .

I think this quality is being victorious and being a great manager. Knowing exactly which quality to use when. Knowing things in the most practical way ....this quality is related to masonry. And being thoroughly devoted as well to the objective. This is a supreme quality  . Masterfully blending all the qualities into a wonderful recipe and filling all the gaps and using the recipes skillfully to create a final product. This is an organizational quality. 

 

I would say these qualities of provider, therapist ,counsellor and overseer as the best qualities. 

These qualities which are binding all other qualities together I will call them binder qualities  . They bring all other qualities and put them into a tandem sequence to achieve final goals. 

These are 

Therapy. ...the quality of healing self and others. 

Counselling...the quality of advising or guiding. 

Overseeing ....the quality of overseeing the different tasks and operations and projects and achieving goals and maintaining a steady equilibrium along with productivity and continum. 

 

Both counselling and administering therapy comes under the qualities of a coach or coaching. 

And overseer is manager or handler. 

A person who holds the torch and takes the legacy forward is a torchbearer. This quality of continuation is equally important. 

Along with a torchbearer there is a need to have a protector or guardian. To protect the tradition and rule or principle or method or people from outside attack or degradation. So guardianship. 

Coaching, continuation. 

Qualities not only describe attitudes but also a role. 

Coaching,continuation, guardianship, and regulation.

 

Regulation is the quality of restoring and maintaining equilibrium. 

Coaching,continuation, guardianship and regulation. These are master qualities that Trump all qualities. These qualities actually set all qualities into work or motion to achieve desired results. 

 

The 5 qualities above are champion qualities or qualities of winning or championship. Whereas the above 4 master qualities are operational or Masonic qualities. 

Edited November 7, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Championship qualities

five  subsets. 

1 One is core qualities which are moralistic. 

2 The second is survival qualities or essential skills ..

3 The third is supplementary qualities that complement perfectly with other qualities and bring a stunning outcome. I will call these battleship qualities. 

4 Third is aquisition qualities . Some of these are not exactly moral but they are a means to an end. So it's the ends justify the means .for example lying to get your goals. 

5 The last qualities are supreme qualities. These keep a smooth equilibrium going on and they are very extremely high on the list and these are very almost godly but not in a moral way but in a divine intelligence kind of way. These are of supreme intelligence and almost very striking like psychic qualities. 

Masonic qualities

1 coaching

 

2 continuation

3 guardianship 

4 regulation

Coaching,continuation, guardianship and regulation.

These qualities actually set all qualities into work or motion to achieve desired results. 

Edited November 7, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Explanation of qualities 

Supplementary qualities 

Like 

 

 

1 One is skepticism and critical thinking.. This quality is as negative as I used to think

2 Second is straightforwardness. It's admirable and a sort of courage. 

3 The quality of seeing the bigger picture 

4 The quality of being productive 

5 The quality of selfish gain but more about maximizing productivity and suitability. 

6 The quality of being honest. 

7 The quality of focusing on career and work and connecting it to self esteem self worth and proving oneself in the world 

8 Being honest and loyal and dedicated in love. 

9 Making things work in life. 

10 the ability to see through manipulation 

11 the ability to perceive things deeply 

12 the ability to see the day as a relation to the entire timeline of life and purpose and connect different time slots to the major goals and map the whole course towards different goals. 

13 anxiousness of not attaining goals. 

14  strong willpower 

15 the ability to be fully aware 

16 to prepare a chart 

17 to focus on essential 

 

18  to overcome situations in order to make it through and win in the end. Resilience 

19  to be combative 

20  the ability to not work as a team is what i see as responsible for the downfall 

21  leadership qualities 

22.  Some degree of bossiness, confidence and ego

23 the importance of ego 

24  a sense of pride and dignity and the need to maintain self esteem 

25 a distinct individuality and persona and a formed unique identity or personality. 

26 being extremely genuine and not deceptive or manipulative and fake. 

27.. The ability to judge correctly 

28.. The ability to be self protective and skeptical and not very gullible 

29.. The ability to have a ground plan 

30 the ability to keep steady unwavering and knowing how to not get easily affected by minor stuff or unimportant stuff. Immediately shift focus to inner goals and inner state of steady calm. Not get provoked or distracted or brainwashed or curious or deceived or sentimental or deflected. 

31 how to know what the exact problem is with a person or their life 

32 how to sort out life and make it work. Like set an order to it. Live together and make that happen. Make the real stuff happen but that is a huge struggle. How to have an organized life. And reduce the chaos. 

33 the ability to know what's exactly wrong with a person or situation. 

34

 

 

Masonic qualities 

1 observations 

2 analysis 

3 noting down general tendencies and behavior and general way of things happening 

4

5

Edited November 7, 2019 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

A man only cares about his blood relationships. 

[Preety_India]

On 11/7/2019 at 6:48 AM, Preety_India said:

Championship qualities

five  subsets. 

1 One is core qualities which are moralistic. 

2 The second is survival qualities or essential skills ..

3 The third is supplementary qualities that complement perfectly with other qualities and bring a stunning outcome. I will call these battleship qualities. 

4 Third is aquisition qualities . Some of these are not exactly moral but they are a means to an end. So it's the ends justify the means .for example lying to get your goals. 

5 The last qualities are supreme qualities. These keep a smooth equilibrium going on and they are very extremely high on the list and these are very almost godly but not in a moral way but in a divine intelligence kind of way. These are of supreme intelligence and almost very striking like psychic qualities. 

Masonic qualities

1 coaching

 

2 continuation

3 guardianship 

4 regulation

Coaching,continuation, guardianship and regulation.

These qualities actually set all qualities into work or motion to achieve desired results. 

 

On 11/7/2019 at 1:36 PM, Preety_India said:

Explanation of qualities 

Supplementary qualities 

Like 

 

 

1 One is skepticism and critical thinking.. This quality is as negative as I used to think

2 Second is straightforwardness. It's admirable and a sort of courage. 

3 The quality of seeing the bigger picture 

4 The quality of being productive 

5 The quality of selfish gain but more about maximizing productivity and suitability. 

6 The quality of being honest. 

7 The quality of focusing on career and work and connecting it to self esteem self worth and proving oneself in the world 

8 Being honest and loyal and dedicated in love. 

9 Making things work in life. 

10 the ability to see through manipulation 

11 the ability to perceive things deeply 

12 the ability to see the day as a relation to the entire timeline of life and purpose and connect different time slots to the major goals and map the whole course towards different goals. 

13 anxiousness of not attaining goals. 

14  strong willpower 

15 the ability to be fully aware 

16 to prepare a chart 

17 to focus on essential 

 

18  to overcome situations in order to make it through and win in the end. Resilience 

19  to be combative 

20  the ability to not work as a team is what i see as responsible for the downfall 

21  leadership qualities 

22.  Some degree of bossiness, confidence and ego

23 the importance of ego 

24  a sense of pride and dignity and the need to maintain self esteem 

25 a distinct individuality and persona and a formed unique identity or personality. 

26 being extremely genuine and not deceptive or manipulative and fake. 

27.. The ability to judge correctly 

28.. The ability to be self protective and skeptical and not very gullible 

29.. The ability to have a ground plan 

30 the ability to keep steady unwavering and knowing how to not get easily affected by minor stuff or unimportant stuff. Immediately shift focus to inner goals and inner state of steady calm. Not get provoked or distracted or brainwashed or curious or deceived or sentimental or deflected. 

31 how to know what the exact problem is with a person or their life 

32 how to sort out life and make it work. Like set an order to it. Live together and make that happen. Make the real stuff happen but that is a huge struggle. How to have an organized life. And reduce the chaos. 

33 the ability to know what's exactly wrong with a person or situation. 

34

 

 

Masonic qualities 

1 observations 

2 analysis 

3 noting down general tendencies and behavior and general way of things happening 

4

5

 

[Preety_India]

championship qualities

supplementary qualities

Masonic qualities

although supplementary qualities are a part of championship qualities

[Preety_India]

Last night I was thinking about how a sexual experience can transform your life. 

I think an intense sexual experience which is also loving and affectionate at the same time and not just sexual is a source of primal energy or primal Passion or primal vitality or romantic passion or vigour or primal motivation for life. 

It can last very long especially during the younger years probably as long as the sexual affection or love continues. 

I sometimes assume such an intense experience as almost shameful or evil. But through such an experience I can actually see what evil is all about. Evil is dirt mixed with pleasure and that's why it can be so tempting. 

There is a part of evil which is very primal and the other part of evil which is very sociopathic.the primal part is the most natural part. The real evil part is the sociopathic part. The primal part is not wrong though 

Liking killing someone in self defense is primal response whereas killing someone for thrill or escape or to watch someone suffer is truly evil because it's sociopathic. 

 

Also I have realized that an intense sexual experience can be a gateway to a higher form of love or intense love. It's expressed biologically but it soon takes up emotional and mental space and turns to intense emotional love as well. This can truly feel like cosmic love or love from a higher source and feel intensely satisfying and fulfilling. 

But such an affection should be very protective at the same time. It may not necessarily be exclusive. But that's okay

Edited November 8, 2019 by Preety_India