Going in and out of awakening (please help)

[Michael Paul]

Over the past several months I’ve been going in and out of understanding and awakening. It’s like I have these profound insights into the nature of Love and reality then completely lose touch with it, only to quickly regain consciousness of it. Several days later. 
 

How can I make awakening more stable? Is this common ego backlash? This is a very jarring and confusing process.

[Nahm]

56 minutes ago, Michael Paul said:

How can I make awakening more stable?

By counter logically not doing anything to stabilize. Let the inclination go, let every thought and tension go, to stay at the highest end of the emotional scale. (That’s Being). Being (“love & reality”) is not coming & going...it only seems so, from believing thinking, then letting thinking go. There is not an “ I “ which could make “awakening” more stable. There is only letting go of the beliefs which convince you of this. 

Is this common ego backlash?

Ya. Let it all out as often as possible. Let thought stories go, let emotion pour out. 

This is a very jarring and confusing process.

Only if you avoid sensation and buy into thought stories.