Being ok with reactions of others

[Dane]

I live a pretty disciplined life these days, and increasingly lately, I've found myself having to say no to people around me, some  of whom are in a position of authority or whom I actually am friends with otherwise.

For example, people will bring me food but I am on a strict eating plan. Or they want to go out to lunch with me at work, but I usually work out during lunch, etc... So I often say no and people sometimes make snarky remarks or comments, showing that they've taken offense to it or maybe they are a bit sensitive.

Another good example is I've found myself disagreeing with my boss a lot lately. He highly respects me as a worker and gave me a perfect review with nothing under "needs improvement" last time... But still, he has a much different style than I and although nothing is hostile, I have had a lot of professional disagreements with him lately. My arguments are in the best interest of the company, which I feel is my duty to serve at work. Basically, I've had to say no more lately.

Either way, I cannot actually control what others think or feel, but sometimes I find myself being uneasy about this. Do you have any suggestions for improving my internal outlook on this?

[pluto]

How others treat you is their karma, how you react is yours.

[CreamCat]

Accept that others are going to be like that.

[LastThursday]

Stand your ground and say "no" when it's important to you even if you feel uneasy about it. That's you being authentic.

But also concede sometimes and say "yes" when you need to - even if you feel uneasy about it.

There's strength in doing both.

[Raphael]

@Dane

I say no most of the time and people get pissed off as they think I don't like them, and honestly, it was also true many times in the past, but even now I continue to say no because I want to have alone time and to do other stuff.

People feal being attacked by this and start doubting themselves and reacting negatively because they want love from you and are not able to get it. I got criticized a lot for saying no and even insulted. I think that you should continue to do what you want and if they get annoyed, explain to them your point of view in a polite manner. It can play a lot.

And also, accepting to do something with them one or two times each two months will not annihilate your results, the best thing to do is probably to find the best balance