Forgive A Cheating Spouse To Let Go Of Ego

[Anton Rogachevski]

I believe i have stumbled upon an intresting contradiction, and I was wandering what's the missing piece.

1. If my s.o cheats, who is he cheating on? And who cheats (if the self doesn't exist presumably)

2. If i were to forgive, would i let go of ego? And if not then how does the ego triumph?

I wish to clarify. Assuming that the thought that someone is my s.o. is part of my self created identity.

 

Edited May 22, 2016 by Actualizer

[Harry]

@Actualizer Even if you were to forgive, it sounds like you're ego will triumph. You think it will make you egoless and thus a 'better' person—yet striving to be a 'better' person is an attribute of the ego. 

Trying to mimic an egoless person does not make your ego suddenly vanish ;P

[Mal]

4 hours ago, Actualizer said:

1. If my s.o cheats, who is he cheating on? And who cheats (if the self doesn't exist presumably)

@Actualizer

Hi Actualizer, 

Your question seems to indicate, sadly, quite a serious if not dangerous misapprehension about the true nature of the self.  Let's imagine for the sake of this inquiry that you and your partner were both awakened beings.  At this stage, granted, you are not going to be able to make the same meaning as a 1st tier deficiency centred person who craves and needs another person or object to complete their existence.  However, you are indeed going to feel the effects of inauthentic and abusive intentions if your partner "cheats" on you.

Cheating is an unconscious motivation.  It reeks of inauthenticity, deception, mistrust and lack of communication.  Moreover, it spells out the very notion that there is no real relationship there to begin with if there is a need to go behind our partners back in order to get some deficiency need met in the form of a secret affair or one night stand.

This does not mean that enlightened relationships should be bound by conventional monogamy.  On the contrary, enlightened relationships can indeed be polyamarous and open relationships with the conscious consent of all individuals involved can now be a real possibility because of the lack of attachment and neediness of the 1st tier perspectives.  But in amongst all this conscious consent is also the wisdom, compassion and sensitivity towards all parties concerned.  

No self means no "ego", it does not mean no feeling.  In fact, it's only enlightened people that CAN feel and function properly because they no longer hold any of the intellectual views of the unenlightened stages, but they certainly hold all of the structures created while their body developed through those levels.

I hope this sheds some light on your question.

Mal

[Anton Rogachevski]

@Harry @Mal

Thank you for your amazing replies.

It's uncanny how much can you read and listen about this stuff and still when it comes to you be deceived.