why i am jealous?

[milii]

i am in a battle with myself i do not love myself even when i see someone happy or in a happeir relationship i feel hell jealous whenever i see some happy couple weather she is my best freind i  get jealous because i was more happeir once somehow my relationship did not worked further i am experincing really bad thoughts after this breakup i always wanted a well selleted family my husband and my kids i know its too bad to get jealous over people but i do not know why am i doing this in begning i was jealous only with my ex and his new girl but now i hate everyone who is in a healthy  relation peole has starting noticing me and they keep me away from their personal matters they consider me as a evil eye it is so painful i am not this i want to get happy i just dont want anyone to hate me i want to love everyone who is happy it sounds weird but only i can feel how i Am going through this war with my own

[ajasatya]

@milii Oh wow... the suffering...

What can you offer to a hypothetical partner? Don't get stuck with wanting. Serving is a better motivator.

There are a few things that you really need: food, water and shelter. Everything else is extra spice for your life. We don't own anything here. Everything is borrowed.

[Nahm]

On 10/10/2019 at 2:18 PM, milii said:

 

i am in a battle with myself

 

That’s not possible, it’s overthinking, the call of meditation. 

 

[MuddyBoots]

@milii you have an internal conflict (and most of us feel jealously to some degree so you're not really different to the rest of us), but it has spiralled out of control  and your friends and other people are noticing. I agree with the other advice, on a deeper level you are a good catch as a friend and partner. You have some letting-go to do, releasing your jealousy into the past and embracing your true deep nature of loving kindness, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity. Well, that's a Buddhist perspective.  If your spirituality is a different perspective from this, there's other ways to approach it. Meditation is one good practice, what is yours? Do you have a spirituality you can rely on, now that you are going through a tough time? A wise person once told me that we should look after our religion during the good times so it's there when we need it in the difficult times. This jealousy could be masking your pain which you are holding onto from your previous relationship, releasing those feelings is a good place to start. If you haven't grieved yet for the breakup, you can express those emotions, instead of feeling jealous, how about reaching out to your best friend for a shoulder to cry on? If that's not an option, there's people here who can listen, although typing messages isn't the same as talking face to face.

 

Edited October 14, 2019 by MuddyBoots

[LastThursday]

@milii it's natural to be jealous sometimes. Sometimes other people have what you want really badly. But your jealousy is holding you back from getting what you want, don't you see? It takes emotional energy and hard work to keep being jealous all the time. It's so much better to use that energy to improve your life instead. One day other people can be jealous of you? No?

[milii]

@LastThursday you are right

[Forestluv]

On 10/10/2019 at 2:18 PM, milii said:

i am in a battle with myself i do not love myself even when i see someone happy or in a happeir relationship i feel hell jealous whenever i see some happy couple weather she is my best freind i  get jealous because i was more happeir once somehow my relationship did not worked further i am experincing really bad thoughts after this breakup 

When you see someone in a happy relationship, why not feel happy for them? Feel happy because they don’t have to go through what you had to go through. 

[louvar]

Wrap your arms around yourself, and say in your minds eye, I truly love myself. Make the affirmation longer if you need to. 

[louvar]

Repeat several t8mes as required, till the serotonin  Takes you to nirvana

[Ananta]

@milii Girllll you're in pain. It's okay. Dont over think it. You're jealous he's moved on without you. Cry....a lot! Eventually, you'll feel better. It's going to take time.

So, take one day at a time. Stop being so hard on yourself. ?

[28 cm unbuffed]

@milii

Hey man, I'm having the exact same problem and it's getting better now. I'll tell you what I'm doing right now, to get rid of that trauma:

- got rid of cigarettes, alcohol, weed (weed is good if you are on a lower levels and you need something to relax you, but after some time it stresses you and gets you paranoid more than anything, but that's just my experience), 

- meditating everyday, "let go" type of meditation, first - think about someone cheating on you, then "breathe that thougths in", hold them for some time and then "breathe them out". Your thoughts will become more and more "subtle",

- emotional catharsis exercises (aka self-exorcisms): 

1. Hyperventilate yourself (f.e. Wim Hof breathing),

2. Let your body do whatever it wants to do (if you want to jump - jump, if you want to make moves like fucking someone - do it), it realeases your repressed emotions, it's some kind of "exorcism" you can do on yourself,

3. Let your mouth say whatever it wants, even if it doesn't make sense and it's all gibberish, it doesn't matter if you are saying words or just "asdnkjansdznk", 

4. Lay down and "let go", give your energy away, get rid of it, even if it's symbolic, it still helps (placebo effect). 

- drink CBD, which will help you relax,

- exercise everyday to release tension from your body.

Hope it helps and you'll get rid of it, I know it's really frustating. Good luck!

Edited October 14, 2019 by 28 cm unbuffed