When Blocked Meets Unblocked

[NilsFlair]

Today I’m going to give you guys some insight into the transitional face between being blocked and unblocked when it comes to Social Primes perspective regarding emotional blockages in dating.

 

This is important information and if you have ever tried out our philosophy this is definitely something you’ve run into at least at some occasions.

 

The problem starts with being blocked. What I mean by blocked is basically that there is a belief that gets triggered in your mind, that manifests as a unconscious behavior, and is experienced as an emotion with a bag of thoughts reinforcing that emotion.

 

This is what we call an emotional blockage, and this is the main obstacles you are facing in your development in dating. 

 

The primary directive of this blockage is to go undetected by you, and if detected it’s primary directive is to push you away from examining it. Because if you do that, it will dissolve.

 

Now, obviously I don’t mean that it has a life of its own, it was created by you at a specific time in your life when you didn’t know better. At that moment, you thought adopting that specific belief and behavior was the best thing that you could do. And now it exists as a perspective in your mind, and when this perspective gets triggered, you can have a hard time distinguishing it from the truth.

 

As an example:

 

Let’s say that you had an incident at the age of three, you were lost in a store by your mother and felt abandoned.

 

What happened in reality was that your mother went looking for some item in the corner of the store and accidentally lost you for three minutes.

 

How your mind interpreted it at the time was that your mother abandoned you and you don’t deserve to be loved because of that.

 

All of this was suppressed, because your mind felt like it was too much to handle at that time.

 

The problem is that this perspective was never revisited, and it sunk deep into your subconscious mind, and was reinforced many times throughout your life, without your knowledge.

It was first only triggered by your mom, but later in your teenage years it developed into girls in general, a lowkey fear of being abandoned by every women that you like or love. 

 

And this pattern is here with you today.

 

Whenever you are in an environment with girls, and you want to talk to them, this pattern of fear of abandonment is kicking in, and there is a part of you that believes 100% that you will be abandoned by every woman you like, because it happen when you were three.

 

What do you think will happen when you become aware of this pattern? Do you think you will just right away say “oh! I feel afraid of being abandoned, but it’s just how I feel now, it’s not true, I don’t have to worry about it!”.

 

Probably not, because you still feel like it’s true, you still believe it’s true.

 

This is the limbo state between being blocked and being unblocked.

 

This is the vulnerable part, this is the part you have to go through in order to become unblocked.

 

So a couple of things that will greatly help you when you are in this limbo state are the following guiding principles:

The main issue lies in the emotional charge of the belief, so if you can feel out the emotion and not reinforce it, the intensity will lessen and the belief will seem less true.

 

Always remember that it’s a belief/perspective and not an objective truth, if you insist that it’s an objective truth you will stay stuck and will not be able to move forward.

 

Observe how much your emotion colors your perception and how all these thoughts about you and the situation start popping up, thoughts that wasn’t there 10 minutes before. See how the emotion is twisting your perception.

 

Treat your blockages with respect and acceptance. Even though the blockage might have held you back 1000s of times in the past, it’s just your young self crying out for something, maybe love, maybe reassurance, maybe acceptance. Approach your blockage with understanding, not malevolence.

 

Last and not least is to remember that acceptance of a vulnerability does not mean weakness, but on the contrary it means strength. Because you have now accepted and moved past it, freeing yourself of the limitation that that blockage held over you.

 

These are some useful and practical guiding principles to use when you are in that limbo state.

 

Now I want to expand a bit more on what happens on the other side of being blocked, what happens when you are unblocked?

 

I think it’s quite intriguing that many men in today's society completely misunderstands emotional acceptance, and misdiagnoses it as accepting emotional weakness.

 

Emotional acceptance is not accepting emotional weakness, emotional acceptance means coming to terms with the fact that we are extremely emotional beings and integrating that part of ourselves. 

 

We become more whole and much more powerful. We heal ourselves, and when we are healed, we are obviously more capable..

 

Going through and letting go of emotional blockages will also permanently raise your self esteem, since your self esteem was blocked by the blockage.

 

But this fear of being vulnerable and weak is still a strong form of social conditioning luming in most men’s minds today.

 

I am not advocating whining and not taking responsibility for your emotions, that’s the other extreme, and often what men are afraid will happen to them if they acknowledges their emotions.

 

The keyword here is awareness, stay aware through this process, don’t let any perspective pull you too far, don’t believe any particular emotion too much.

 

Act as a whole, rather than a sum of parts.

 

- Nils Flair