Momentary Awakening Experience When Half Asleep?

[Jan Odvarko]

Hi everyone!

I've just had the strangest experience in my life. After early morning meditation I usually take a short nap. This time during the nap I had an extraordinarily vivid dream which seemed very much like a momentary awakening.

In the dream it was a sunset, dandelions everywhere around me and I was enjoying the scenery. Suddenly some kind of shift took place. I think first it got dark, then I went through fear which had an unfamiliar taste to it, and I remembered not to fight it because it couldn't harm me, just to go with it. Then I got dull pain at the back of my head for a few moments as the perception transformed and suddenly there came a feeling of peace and joy with a kind of awe in the background, all of which is very difficult to express with my limited vocabulary. It was an experience like from a book.

I could suddenly "understand" everything. There was no need to understand it intellectually, but on an experiential level I could feel everything was the way it was supposed to be. I was completely calm and free of worry. Everything was so peaceful, joyful, friendly, warm. Although my body was there observing the scenery, in my mind I was dead, or rather never actually born as a human, so detached from all this human thing. I didn't really feel I was "it" (the oneness), as many sources suggest, but rather that I was looking at something that was never so close and familiar to me as in that moment. I was observing the world with love that was no different from the love I was feeling towards myself.

But still - it happened when I was asleep, or half asleep at least. If it happened during the day, I would be 100% sure it was a momentary enlightenment experience. I've never had such a vivid dream before. And what's even more strange is what happened when I half-opened my eyes after the dream. I could already see the surroundings, the ceiling and the duvet, but when I tried to pull the duvet off, it didn't move. I was sure I was moving my hand, yet I could see the duvet didn't move because my hand didn't move either. I tried again. And again. I was getting very desperate because I lost control over my body. Only on the fourth attempt my hand started to move. It was really like if the mind lost control over the body for some time.

Anyone with a similar experience? Do you think a momentary awakening can happen when half asleep? ("asleep" in a conventional meaning of the word.) Because to me, the very word "awakening" suggests that one must be extremely conscious in order to experience it.

I'm curious if my mind made an extraordinarily convincing and elaborate makyo or if I'm onto something.

Thank you.

PS: This experience gave me the following insight: We are here in this "real" world only because we really really want to experience it. It is only as solid as want to be here, and without this wanting the reality would immediately dissolve.

Edited May 22, 2016 by Jan Odvarko

[Jani]

Sounds interesting, even though it's a bit hard to grasp from text. The experience must've been really extraordinary. I once woke up, or more like became conscious in the middle of the night. I couldn't open my eyes, well, I actually wasn't aware of my body at the time. There was immense fear as it happened, then I sort of took a step back out of the fear and there was a feeling of peace for a short moment and then I fell back asleep. Haven't really shared this experience with everyone because it's really hard to explain and sounds abstract.