Afraid during self inquiry

[Raptorsin7]

I just did a 45 minutes of self inquiry and i felt like was close to seeing how my self is a just another set emotions/feelings that i'm aware of in each moment, but when i realized i might be close to awakening i started to wonder if awakening even felt that good or if it will be super scary and i won't actually like what i find. Anyone else go through something similar on their spiritual journey?

[Wes Thoughts]

Oh yeah it can be extremely scary! like as scary as putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. You are literally doing a practice that will kill your "self". I get a real terror as if I am going to have a psychotic breakdown or exit this self imagined universe (aka this life) and I can't continue... for now.

You might want to check out a post I made on here awhile ago about this:

 

[Nahm]

Which one are you? The one inquiring, or the one which might be discovered? 

[zeroISinfinity]

That one which can be discovered is not afraid. Just waits. 

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm When i close my eyes and move my head around, I am that which is watching the head move around. But, when i look for the watcher i don't find anything. I feel like im close to awareness moving off "me" and moving into the world but idk

[Raptorsin7]

@zeroISinfinity But the mind can be afraid during the waiting, and this will prevent the one from truly revealing itself?

[Nahm]

@Raptorsin7 Are you using a mirror, to watch your head move around? (With your eyes closed?)

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm No, when i close my eyes and then start moving my head, "I" am aware of the movement of the head. It's like im watching it from the inside of my eyes. I was under the impression that awakening will occur spontaneously at some point during concentration on the self, or what ever my awareness goes to whenever i try to shine my attention on what 'I' think i am. It seems like you're trying to get me to some logical understanding that all the things i think of as me aren't actually me. Do you think if i truly understood your questions and @zeroISinfinity 's question that it would produce an awakening. I don't know how to interpret your advice tbh...

[Nahm]

@Raptorsin7 Read over the meditations & self inquiry in my link.

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Nahm Ok