Tips to get out of Rut/Backslide

[Raptorsin7]

I have been black sliding for the past 4 or 5 days. For example, i've been eating a lot of junk food, i've stopped waking up early and going to yoga, i'm spending hours just mindlessly surfing the web, etc. I'm still meditating and i haven't gone completely off the rails in my life, but it's definitively not where i want to be. Any tips for recovering from a black slide? A big problem right now is that i feel like shit so i eat shit food which then makes me feel even worse.  

[Raptorsin7]

I've also been watching a bunch of political youtubers i hate because it's stimulating. I find a lot of my toxic habits surface when i procrastinate doing stuff i know i should be doing. In this case i know i should be working out, eating healthy, and studying at the library instead of at home.

[RobertZ]

I can definitely relate. I want to do one thing, and then I find a different mind deciding, "Nope. I am going to do something else." I am helpless against myself. "Oh higher self, I invoke thee."

 

1) What are some things that make me feel better when I feel like shit? 

   a) A hot bath;

   b) A topic-of-interest I developed to cope with stress--like an esoteric novel about psychedelic magic.

   c) Burning time online.

2) Challenge myself a bit! Just do a bit. I will start to enjoy it when I start doing it--and I will appreciate it later.

3) What is my lack of insight? 

   a) looking back at a personal journal (or old writing) might help me to identify patterns in my life that I would not otherwise recognize;

   b) A cultivated relationship (like with a counsellor) can provide insight into patterns--and how they connect to my current attitudes.

4) What is my place of inspiration?

  a) Read PhD dissertations.

  b) Love the people around me--kindness and compassion. 

Edited October 8, 2019 by RobertZ
Added idea

[Sahil Pandit]

@Raptorsin7 Go for a long walk, or workout, and set a new pace for yourself. Use the endorphins to take action and clean up your life. 

[fortifyacacia3]

Inversion rituals are seen across cultures throughout time, from carnivals to Halloween. People need a pressure release valve like the concept you see in the Purge. Logic needs to go upside down before it returns in it's cycle. Necessary, yes until you use this to justify wrongdoing. So in other words in order to maintain your efforts you need to orient yourself with your opposites in order to know your own orientation. Further, calling certain things bad is what makes them all the more desirable. If you have to avoid something, it means you still want it. If your avoiding something you are implying that it has a place in happening. If you ground your decisions with certainty and own your choices your desires will actualize. If you surrender and allow yourself to junk food who knows, maybe you'll realize it really isn't what you want. After all, the surrendering to the junk food happened before you decided that it isn't what you want in the first place. Allow your desires to enter the freedom of authentic choicelessness.  

 

[Raptorsin7]

@fortifyacacia3 So just surrender to the moment each time i recognize i'm in a funk? Is my backslide an inversion ritual like the purge? 

 

[Average Investor]

It's good to have that habit that you can keep strong during it. Mine is working out and diet is really just a apart of how I live now from doing it this long.  When things are going great I just start throwing in kick ass habits. Been doing no fap, cold shower, youtube,  etc lately. But if things took a turn I know that these habits would drop pretty easily or require a fight to keep up. A big thing I suggest is slow integration of the habits them self and focusing on the benefits. Set a specific diet you are going to eat and stick to it. 

I forget where I heard it, but imagine a big rock being held by ropes. Each day you complete the habit another rope is added. The rock is going to fall much easier without the consistency. Sickness, injury, etc can really put a damper on things. Do you best to get those strings up and especially the initial ones. 

Sometimes you just need a day to let it go. Not worry about it and not beat yourself up if you miss a day. Try to not skip more than one day in a row though. I find once you go over that it becomes harder and amplifies more. 

I go running every outside every other day and I notice now most people are not out there because the sun is gone. Rain is here and "cold". I am excited for it now. This year I actually bought myself rain gear and have a nice jogging outfit. I would like to upgrade my gloves, so my hands aren't frozen before I get back, but the extra gear makes it more exciting to go!  But those people likely could not keep the habit once it got a bit more tough. Everyone likes a nice stroll in the sun. I could see most having to work or something too. But any time it is dramatically less people out now. It's easier for me now because I feel great doing it. I have got stuck in ruts with it and I just took it slow to build back up momentum after injuries over training etc. There are days that are still hard to get out and go. I averaged almost 6 miles a day all last month, which was my personal best for distance in a month. 

I want to run a marathon next summer is the goal. I have a lot of time to train for it and I think I can do it. Make goals with the diet. Make goals with all of it. Maybe you need to skip a piece to focus on making one habit strong enough not to fall. 

Also, maybe try something new to spice up the routine for the items you are having a hard time keeping. Just like I added the gear etc. Nice headphones made it better to. 

Layering pieces of the habit helps to. I actually rewarded myself with a warm shower at night and I had an awesome idea when I took it tonight. But I still take the cold shower in the morning. My first few showers started at the middle of the temp, then moved to cold. Now they are just cold when I hop in. That habit is awesome even if I get up a bit later than my time I want to be up it totally makes up for it skipping all of my slow time wasting in the morning. 

Diet specifically I had the best luck changing a meal at a time. And it really can take longer than you think. But that is okay. Maybe just start by making your breakfast a really health smoothie. Then go from there and make sure you can keep that every  day first. Eventually integrating more veggies in it. And find other options and research what would be best for your life. Get a taste of just how powerful that healthy breakfast is for you, 

Expect ego backlash and backsliding though. It's kind of like running up a big slide and every now and then you slip a bit, but you can always keep running back up. You'll have times where you will just power through it like an animal once you get disciplined enough. 

 

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

Its normal to backslide. No progress without regress. I would watch Leos vid on ego backlash.

But in the meantime, dont think, just do. Get up early, do yoga, compromise by getting food you enjoy but is still relatively healthier than shitty junk food. And then build off that. Keep meditating, instead of surfing the web stimulating your mind read life changing books that stimulate your mind.

[fortifyacacia3]

@Raptorsin7 cease the circular speculation around the backslides. Be skeptical sure but establish when you will and when you won't do something. don't beat yourself up if you do backslide and understand why you chose to. accept the backslides, but if your trying to stop the habit it is best not to be displaced by simultaneously continuing the habit and being against it. Take your values more seriously if that's what you want and set limits that are practical for you. 

But yeah, the surrendering has alot to do with beating yourself up over falling back. You need confidence to act optimally. You can take it as acceptance too. Watch the video for inversion ritual questions, but what comes up must come down, the cyclical impermanent nature of reality, work with it!

[Surfingthewave]

5 hours ago, fortifyacacia3 said:

Allow your desires to enter the freedom of authentic choicelessness.  

 

• Thanks for this. Authentic choicelessness, now this is key. When we make promises to ourselves and we fail, we beat ourselves up for failure. Take away the promises and you take away the room for failure. Be kinder to yourself. 

[Meditationdude]

12 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I have been black sliding for the past 4 or 5 days. For example, i've been eating a lot of junk food, i've stopped waking up early and going to yoga, i'm spending hours just mindlessly surfing the web, etc. 

@Raptorsin7 Hey man, we just talked about weed yesterday... Maybe this is a side effect of you smoking too much? Like I was saying if you overdo it with joints and are smoking all day you’re going to feel like shit and have no energy to do anything but stoner shit (YouTube, no exercise, bad food). 

If you’ve been smoking more than usual you need to stop for a while. Your energy will come back in a couple days but you have to stop and deal with the negative side effects like you mentioned above. 
 

[Raptorsin7]

@Meditationdude Hey, the backslide actually started before i smoked weed. I was hadn't smoked in over 2 months, and ive been backsliding for about 5 days, and only 2 days ago i started smoking again. But i agree that weed + back slide can be a disaster if im not careful. I think im going to limit weed to only when i do the float tank, so maybe 1 or 2 times a week

[fortifyacacia3]

@Surfingthewave Thanks I think it was first brought up to me by Alan Watts you can probably find by searching choice/choicelessness.