mood

[flume]

The Concept Of Life Going Full Circle

Everyone starts out as a sheep... Until certain experiences force them to evolve. The wolves inside us all emerge when the sheep you have been can't protect you anymore. And then... Just when you thought the world had conspired against you... It was conspiring with you the entire time.

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/the-concept-of-life-going-full-circle-dance-choreography

[flume]

Overwhelm. Again and again.

I woke up in pain. Emotional pain. The pain of going through the same struggles again and again and again.

"I should have gotten up earlier. I should have read, meditated, done yoga, etc. by now." I feel anxious about work, like I've already done everything wrong even though I haven't even gone there yet. Like its inevitable that I'm gonna disappoint...

Read full journal post:

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/overwhelm-again-and-again

[RendHeaven]

@flume Browsing through this forum, I can usually tell where people are "at" just by feeling into "what kind of energy spawned this block of text?"

And I've gotta say you're one of the few people who I tend to perceive as more spiritually/emotionally evolved than "me."

Not that such a thing even exists - it doesn't really, just perception and projection - but nonetheless I'm always impressed and blown away by "the place you're coming from" in each post. So gentle, calm, understanding, non-judgemental, and compassionate without posturing. You and Nahm form a league of your own in these respects.

And so seeing you express that you're not perfect, that you have petty struggles too, makes you even more perfect lol, it's like "oh right she's HUMAN!"

 

[Himanshu]

 

On 8/12/2020 at 2:33 AM, flume said:

Life Purpose
Leading people back to their connection with nature

[flume]

@RendHeaven I  don't  even  know  what  to  say  about  that 

[flume]

Overwhelm Part 2: Resolve and shifting the lens

Dear uneasy feeling of overwhelm, thank you for helping me. I'm not sure how to deal with you when you arise, but I'm sure you're only here to help me evolve. I'm here now, to listen. I'll be as open as I can to your answers. What is it you want to tell me?

So you're being as open as you can?

Yes.

Then you wouldn't have a problem with me arising.

Are you forcing me to stay open?

You're still trying to anchor yourself in things that don't define you. I'll just crank up the heat until you get that that doesn't work.

Isn't that a super ungrounded way to live? When nothing is certain?

It's probably the most sane way to live. Look around you, how do people live who want to secure things into place?

Read full journal post:

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/overwhelm-part-2-resolve-and-shifting-the-lens

Side note: This was 2 days ago. Can't say I'm implementing what I've learned at the minute. I'm a stressed chicken if there ever was one 

[flume]

When a child is born

When a child is born, the world seems to holds its breath.

Time stands still.

Presence fills the room.

The presence of innocence and love.

Looking at this child, we can’t help but be touched by the mystery we live in. Looking at each other, we suddenly know that its nothing short of a miracle that we’re here.

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/when-a-child-is-born

[flume]

Primal Therapy

Off to a primal childhood decondtioning retreat. This is gonna be such a trip. A trip of personal growth, trauma healing and embodied spirituality.

I'm excited.

I'm nervous.

I'm already glad I decided to do this.

_________

Dear childhood self: I'm here now. Picking up the pieces and parts of me I left behind. I promised I would come back one day and make it right. Now's the time.

Hurt people hurt people. Let's break the cycle.

"Peace with our past, love in our present, and openness to our future."

See you in 2 weeks folks.

More pictures: https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/primal-therapy

[flume]

Scarcity is a mindset, abundance a reality. Hashtag homegrown ??

[flume]

Happier Than Ever ?

[flume]

Not Quite Back Yet

Primal therapy has changed me, in subtle and obvious ways. I feel like I'm having a much wider view on reality now, whereas before I could only see a tiny bit. It also seems like the beginning of a process that will unfold for many weeks, months and years to come. I'm not quite ready to come back to high-energy-me as I'm feeling extremely vulnerable and open, but in a good way.

I just need time to rest now. This felt like doing an 8-day surgery on myself, putting myself through a meat grinder, taking it all apart in agony, just to lovingly put the remaining pieces back together at last.

Jesus Christ.

Time to rest.

"There's no freedom without freedom from the past."

Many things cooking though. Things are getting very interesting.

Love you all so much!

And to everyone who’s not getting responses from me at the moment, thank you for your patience and understanding.

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/not-quite-back-yet

[flume]

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

“The Giants who formed this world into its sensual existence and now seem to live in it in chains, are in truth the causes of its life & the sources of all activity, but the chains are the cunning of weak and tame minds which have power to resist energy, according to the proverb, the weak in courage is strong in cunning.

Thus one portion of being is the Prolific, the other the Devouring: to the devourer it seems as if the producer was in his chains, but it is not so, he only takes portions of existence and fancies that the whole.

But the Prolific would cease to be Prolific unless the Devourer, as a sea, recieved the excess of his delights.

Some will say: ‘Is not God alone the Prolific?’ I answer: ‘God only Acts & Is, in existing beings or Men.”

- William Blake

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/the-marriage-of-heaven-and-hell

[flume]

Oh I love that man
Like nobody can
He moves mountains and pounds them to ground again

[flowboy]

On 02/09/2021 at 5:26 PM, flume said:

Oh I love that man

Like nobody can
He moves mountains and pounds them to ground again

Such a smashing picture

I love you so much

[flume]

The Beginning Of Something New

There has been quite a tug of war going on inside of me the past month. I still feel a little withdrawn and vulnerable from the Primal retreat. Some time is needed to get to know my "new self", the one that suddenly speaks up for her boundaries and feels equal to the people in her life. Coming out of this experience though, I feel more certain than ever that I want to "do my own thing" professionally.

I'd like to help people break through limiting thoughts and emotions and realise why they're arising for them. There just comes a point in this whole "self actualisation" or "spiritual" journey, where you realise that more concepts and gurus are not gonna be the answer. If you don't learn to relate to what's inside of you, you're ultimately gonna stay unfulfilled, stuck and will continue drifting from one teaching or method to the next.

"Getting real" was the real "growing up" for me; as in: finally taking seriously the intimacy my own inner world. Becoming the only authority in my life. Something started shifting then, something profoundly that I feel is responsible for the amazing people and circumstances I now have in my life. I'm beyond blessed, really.

"Stop working on yourself. Start relating to yourself", as Matt Kahn would say.

I'd love to find a way to guide people to do just that. So I've looked into coaching. I thought about taking a course, checking it out, to see whether I could make a difference in people's lives by doing that.

Trying to retrace the path that I followed, I've actually been in the process of condensing all of the most important and helpful knowledge I've ever found in books, videos, seminars and trips. I'm currently going through all my notes and writings, digital and hand written, which feels like I'm digging for gold. I never looked at them much after jotting them down, but now it's like I suddenly know why I took all those notes.

I know that there is something there, somewhere, that is useful and no one has found before. I can intuit that. I'm just not sure how I could teach that (yet). Or what it even really is. But it's definitely gotten my attention.

The thing is, I have 0 skills in marketing and I don't know a thing about coaching. People tell me I'm smart, see connections quickly and they feel safe and not judged with me. So those are pretty good requirements. But all the practicalities have to be learned, so I'm down for investing into an online course.

Wherever I looked, I felt turned off by the exaggerated marketing though. The quick promises and shady sales people really made me feel like I'm being pushed to purchase something that actually goes against my values quite heavily. I felt like I was about to sell my soul for stepping my foot into the entrepreneur scene of ads and manipulation. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Probably. But there's something there I really don't like. It feels wrong. And I've learned to trust that feeling.

So I'm not buying a course until I've found something that feels ethically sound. The point of doing this is actually becoming a good coach, developing myself and creating a safe space for people to do the same.

If I have to do anything shady for that, anything that is untrue, harms or exploits people down the line, I'm not doing it. It's not worth it. I don't care how much money it would make me. I've had money in my life. It means nothing at that cost.

So that's where I'm at right now.

Phew.

Let's see where this road leads.

[Raphael]

On 9/2/2021 at 7:26 PM, flume said:

You guys are beautiful!

[flume]

On 04/09/2021 at 7:26 PM, Raphael said:

You guys are beautiful!

 Thanks Raphael!

[flume]

A quick update on what's been going on in my life lately & where I'm going 

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/what-ive-been-up-to

@Nahm I can't believe we've uploaded our first yt video ever on the same day and now, same day again after same 3 months break. You bet I'm gonna enjoy yours later with a good cup of tea All the love!

[Nahm]

@flume

Ha! That’s so funny!

Just watched and soooo great to hear!!! ?? 

[flume]

A recent insight of one of my clients.

https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/fear-of-missing-out