Let's get pratical #1: 1h of meditation per day

[Raphael]

I'm going to use this journal to track my meditation habit.

My days go better after meditating in the morning and I can now see how important this habit is. I'm currently at 30-45 minutes of daily meditation which is already challenging for me. Many times I open my eyes in between and stop for a few minutes before restarting.

The process will go in two steps:

• Step 1: 45 minutes of meditation per day
• Step 2: 1 hour of meditation per day

My goal is to be able to do 1 hour of daily meditation without opening my eyes, scratching me and of course, stop in between. I will write a post per day until I feel successful enough in my practice.

Edited October 7, 2019 by Raphael

[Raphael]

7 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I was in a thoughts storm today, I couldn't stop thinking about a guy who beat my dogs yesterday and physically threating me. I opened my eyes for a few seconds at 36 minutes, then start again. Even with the thought storm, I felt different after the session, I felt more conscious and more refreshed compared to when I started. It was great.

[Raphael]

8 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I had a little fewer thoughts compared to the last time, but was globally still quite agitated. Most of my thoughts were about the same guy who threatened me yesterday. I opened my eyes at 43m 30s, I also got interrupted by my mom who wanted to know if I was ready because we planned to go shopping together. I didn't feel a high difference between the beginning and the end. After the session, I was almost the same in my body and my head. However, I noticed that full acceptance of the present moment helps me to meditate longer. 

Edited October 8, 2019 by Raphael

[Raphael]

9 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I tryied mindfulness meditation today. I mostly focused on external sounds and very few on my body. I did it successfully without opening my eyes this time. I still had some thoughts about the same guy, but they were greatly reduced compared to the previous sessions. When I stopped, the time was 11:11. Coincidence? I don't know. I had some back pain when I opened my eyes, but in the end, I felt refreshed and more conscious.

[flowboy]

Hey man, doing great! Love the practical goal! Followed.

[Raphael]

@flowboy Thanks!

[Raphael]

10 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I found this session a little more difficult compared to yesterday, but paradoxically, I had the sensation that these 45 minutes went very fast. I didn't open my eyes, but I scratched myself sometimes. I had a lot of random thoughts, some thoughts about the same guy, thoughts on this session, thoughts on having thoughts on having thoughts, and thoughts about what to write in this journal.

[Raphael]

11 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: They were a lot of external sounds during this session, most notably hens making noises. One of them entered the house and was walking and jumping on stuff while I was meditating. I choose to let it go and to keep meditating anyway. However, I scratched myself and also did some burp during the session. Globally today's meditation was pretty difficult, but I achieved to keep my eyes closed. I didn't feel that much difference compared to the beginning, except being a little lightheaded.

[Raphael]

12 October 2019

TIme: 29 minutes 55 seconds

Summary: I initially thought it was going to go well, but it didn't. The neighbors were making a  lot of noises by sawing wood. I straightened my body in the right position several times and I searched my nose one time. I was also quite sleepy during the session. In the end, I opened my eyes at 29:55 and stopped here.

[Raphael]

13 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: This session went pretty well globally and I didn't open my eyes. I moved my body some times and also scratched myself, at a moment I had a sensation that something was moving in the upper right side of my torso as if something wanted to get out of me. I probably have trapped emotions in my body, so when it wants to get out my body does strange behaviors.

[Raphael]

14 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I opened my eyes twice during this session, at 20m 16s and 33m 3s. I moved my body a lot, I wasn't able to find the right position as I have a pimple on my right buttock, it annoyed me during the entire session. I also scratched myself a little.

[ElenaO]

Great work! Keep it up. I wish I was doing meditation at your age. And for such long periods. 

[Raphael]

Thanks a lot! @ElenaO

[Raphael]

15 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I kept my eyes closed during the entire session. I had a lot of random thoughts, moved my body sometimes and searched my nose a little. I didn't feel a huge difference in consciousness compared to when I began the meditation. I will close the windows of my room for the next sessions as there is too much noise outside, it's too distracting.

[Raphael]

Reframing My Objective

My original goal was to be able to meditate for 1 hour per day without opening my eyes, stop in between, scratching myself or moving my body. However, the problem is that this goal is too perfectionist. Even after 10 years of daily meditation, I will still probably move my body a little, scratch myself sometimes, and do some other little stuff. These things are OK, and I think it's better to let go of the need to be perfect, my new objective is now to be able to meditate for 1 hour without opening my eyes.

• Current objective: meditate for 45 minutes without opening my eyes
• Final objective: meditate for 1 hour without opening my eyes

Edited October 16, 2019 by Raphael

[Raphael]

16 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: This session went globally pretty well. I closed my room's windows to avoid external noises and managed to keep my eyes closed. I tried to focus on my respiration this time, I lost it, went back to it, lost it again, went back to it again, and so on. I was a little sweaty at the end because of the heat and the lack of aeration in my room and I did not feel a huge difference in my consciousness level.

[Raphael]

17 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: This session went pretty well. I kept my eyes closed, moved my body a little, chew my lips, and searched my nose a little. I didn't feel a huge difference in my consciousness at the end of the meditation.

[Raphael]

18 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I originally wanted to focus on my breath but got lost in thoughts too much. I also opened my eyes at 25:09 when I repositioned my body. At one moment, I felt like I was merging with everything, I felt very lightweight and didn't have any thoughts for maybe 10-15 seconds. In the end, I felt refreshed and more conscious after this session.

[Raphael]

19 October 2019

Time: 45 minutes

Summary: I'm quite surprised by how well this session went. I kept my back very straight throughout all the 45 minutes, I almost didn't move my body, and also kept my eyes closed. I had a little burp one time, and of course, I had random thoughts. I felt pretty good at the end.

[Raphael]

20 October 2019

TIme: 45 minutes

Summary: I find this session a little harder than yesterday, but I think it was pretty good overall. I maybe blinked at a moment, I'm not sure... I also had a lot of random thoughts and my mind wasn't really clear, nevertheless,  I felt more appeased in the end.