How To Develop Love

[Draconis Chaser]

Hello everyone!

Lately, I've been contemplating on my life and more importantly my death, and have reached a conclusion that a lot of things currently present in my life were the result of "me going against the world". While some of them have served me nicely (such as personal development work), others have caused me more pain than pleasure, and so I've decided to break those patterns and develop new onces.

My problem, I guess, is in this - how do you stop associating pain to the actions that are good for you in the long run, and start associating pleasure to them? That is, how do you develop love for the things that you currently hate, or strongly dislike.

For example, I been trying to exercise regularly for a few monts now, but, boy, has it been a struggle. And it's not getting any easier. I simply hate it. 
The same goes with studying regularly. I can cram, due to the pain of failing involved, when the deadline is close, but not before.
And that has been dragging me down for quite some time now.  

If anyone could spare any advice on this topic, I would be more than grateful! 

Thank you for yor time, and have a great day!

 

[Henri]

@Draconis Chaser You need a proper goal and direction in life. This you should make first short-term goals.

For example a week, make a schedule for one week where you plan everything ahead and make a vow to stick with it. One day off for pleasure.

You can do this for some weeks, this will be much easier for you. You`ll give your life`s direction a lot of power and energy with this. Do not make any plans and do not have any thoughts about everything longer than 7 days ahead. 

[vizual]

Ever tried exercising with a friend? You know, something like an accountability buddy, I know it sounds cliche but it works. You can motivate each other and it keeps thing fresh. You have to have someone you can rely on though  

The topic title is funny because you will never be able to develop love for something. Because when you try to develop something it's the ego's motive that wants to get something out of it. Love only comes from the act of doing it, never from the potential results it may yield. So try to do things that make the process as joyful as possible. Don't try to constantly hammer yourself in doing thing just to get the results. That may yield short term results, but in the long run it's never sustainable.

[JustinS]

@Draconis Chaser Meditate daily and just take a moment to look inside. Taking your attention inside whenever possible is key. 

 

Lately, I've been contemplating on my life and more importantly my death, and have reached a conclusion that a lot of things currently present in my life were the result of "me going against the world".

 

Here's a section from the book Psycho-Cybernatics by Maxwell Maltz: 

Charity:

"Successful personalities have some interest in and regard of other people. They have respect for others' problems and needs. They respect the dignity of human personality and deal with other people as if they were human beings, rather than as pawns in their own game. They recognize that every person is a child of God and is a unique individuality which deserves some dignity and respect."

"The person who feels that "people are not very important" cannot have very much deep-down self respect and self-regard-for he himself is "people" and with what judgement he considers others, he himself is unwittingly judged in his own mind. You will develop a better and more adequate self-image when you begin to feel that other people are more worthy. Another reason that Charity toward other people is symptomatic of successful personality is because it means that the person is dealing with reality."