THE thing that prevents me from wanting to pursue enlightenment :

[Curious]

Existential Loneliness. Applied spiritual Sollipsism.
As described in the new video, many facets of awakening: 

at 30:00.

As Leo explain at 31:10, this is pretty fucking brutal.

And tbh I just don't understand why do all this, hours and hours of meditation, contemplation, psychedelics, embodied integration, if it is to go back to this Existential Eternal Infinite Pain ?
What do you do with this ? How can you ever be OK with this realization ?

It's been 7 years for me that I struggle with this, after being introduced to Cogito Ergo Sum, and going to the full (I guess only conceptual) understanding of this deep loneliness that God has.
How can you get over this ?
I understand some might just say "meditate and do psychedelics LOL", but I am seriously fearing getting into a state of psychosis if I actually experience it. Already from understanding it conceptually, I was knocked out in depression for 1 year.

And this seems to happen, as is explained in this very nice podcast (the interviewee starts explaining his descent into his week-long pyschosis at 1:01:00):

So, really how does one goes on about this ?
It feels like a trap: either go back to "mundane non spiritual life" and miss something, or go balls deep in spirituality and end up in an asylum with infinite eternal suffering.
What is the fine line?

You realized that you're everything and on your own for ever, great (I guess), then what, besides pain ?

PS: I have never done drugs/psychedelics besides once some weed and a usual Western consumption of alcohol.

Edited October 6, 2019 by Curious
Orthograph

[ajasatya]

Solipsism has nothing to do with awakening. It's just another mental game. 

[Nahm]

@Curious This is entirely believing thoughts. Do the shadow work. Get feeling back in living. 

[Curious]

Thanks guys @Nahm @ajasatya.

So, as a practice, do you suggest keeping on meditation and maybe starting Kriya Yoga ?
And I assume psychedelics is a bit too risky for me ?

Edited October 6, 2019 by Curious

[ajasatya]

@Curious You gotta try things out and feel what touches your heart. It could be something as unexpected as starting dancing classes.

[Nahm]

35 minutes ago, Curious said:

So, as a practice, do you suggest keeping on meditation and maybe starting Kriya Yoga ?

Yes
And I assume psychedelics is a bit too risky for me ?

Yes

Every thought arises in accordance with, as if directly from, sensation. Sensation is the raw root which does not come & go, add a thought about the sensation, and you create a feeling - feelings come & go, add the duality of self & other thoughts, and you create emotion, emotions come and go.

You are aware of all that comes & goes.

You do not come and go.

 

Some people encounter a fear, inspect it, feel it, understand it, realize the believe they held, and it is understood, and let go as such. Even to say it is ‘let go’ is too much. It is seen as a falsity, you created. It literally “disappears” as it was never really a thing, just a belief.  

Some people hold onto it, make posts about it, form their days and identity around it, look for others to commiserate with, eat, drink, smoke to compensate for holding it, form groups and clubs about what they fear, tell their fear story everyday to everyone who will listen. 

Everybody can set the intention to let go of thoughts & beliefs, and relax. Up to everybody. Up to you. 

Don’t fear the feelings that arise and pour out with the practices. Let em pour out. Don’t hold on to thoughts, it’s a sneaky way of resisting the emotional outpouring. The understanding comes after the willingness, the vulnerability. 

[Alex bliss]

Enlightenment is the end of suffering not the beginning of suffering bro...the ego is playing a hard game making excuse so that it can take control over your life....its the trickiest of the trickiest...be smart and take the ultimate path....have faith in buddha's word...don't listen to the non awakened beings .....

[Peo]

8 hours ago, Curious said:

How can you ever be OK with this realization ?

I´m an intervert so for me its great to realize this. I don't have to fear other people, because they are me. 

[traveler]

It seems to be a very essential thing to accept. If you're still holding on to your ego while you're faced with the one then it isn't going to be fun, but it is a chance to see clearly how you deceive yourself constantly and how you create your own suffering. The mind is so deeply tricky, deeper than I ever imagined.  

[Curious]

@Nahm Alright thanks for the suggestions.
Will continue purging with 1hour long meditations.

[Nahm]

@Curious ??

Careful not to ‘do’ or ‘will’ any “purging”.  The fulcrum, the ‘connector’, is the intention. Purification is the fundamental order of reality, and of the day, always. Unconditional guidance infinitely beyond the thoughts or efforts of any one person. Put that weight, that vest, those concerns, that responsibility - down. Let it go. It is the absolute best of you, which is always flowing, through all things. The ‘job’ is not on you. Mindfully let go of the resistance, of expectations. The intuition which delightfully follows, is also not on you, it is of you. Just relax, let go, revel in the beauty and perfection of it, awe inspiring and jaw dropping in deed. It’s counter logical, but notice it is not counter intuitive. You’re only surrendering resistances of the light that you are, nothing more. The more light through the prism, the more vibrant the colors.  

[AlwaysBeNice]

I'm not a real expert, but you can feel good, you can know this, in glimpses or deep relaxed closed to sleep, when with a loved one in some way, you can see it in children or animals as well often.

Too much theory is not good at all, it gotta be lived, that's what life is for.

Also I don't know about Leo, I don't think he claims to be enlightened even though he speaks as it for his job, but I can tell you, seeing a teacher (a good one, hopefully for you) is very different, very different, than looking a video, it's in fact so different, you probably shouldn't again even watch too much of it all, life isn't suppose to be lived behind a digital screen. I'm getting off topic I guess but I hope that helps, peace to you !

[Superfluo]

@Curious

IMO (I'm not enlightened), if there is only you, yeah, it is shoking, but then there would be less fear of "others". They are you, and you shift to a different mentality that makes you love everything and everyone. So I'd say it would be easier to love other people, and it is even easier if you learn how to properly love yourself. But this is just a reasoning. Hope it helps

[MAYA EL]

On 10/6/2019 at 8:21 AM, Curious said:

Existential Loneliness. Applied spiritual Sollipsism.
As described in the new video, many facets of awakening: 

at 30:00.

As Leo explain at 31:10, this is pretty fucking brutal.

And tbh I just don't understand why do all this, hours and hours of meditation, contemplation, psychedelics, embodied integration, if it is to go back to this Existential Eternal Infinite Pain ?
What do you do with this ? How can you ever be OK with this realization ?

It's been 7 years for me that I struggle with this, after being introduced to Cogito Ergo Sum, and going to the full (I guess only conceptual) understanding of this deep loneliness that God has.
How can you get over this ?
I understand some might just say "meditate and do psychedelics LOL", but I am seriously fearing getting into a state of psychosis if I actually experience it. Already from understanding it conceptually, I was knocked out in depression for 1 year.

And this seems to happen, as is explained in this very nice podcast (the interviewee starts explaining his descent into his week-long pyschosis at 1:01:00):

So, really how does one goes on about this ?
It feels like a trap: either go back to "mundane non spiritual life" and miss something, or go balls deep in spirituality and end up in an asylum with infinite eternal suffering.
What is the fine line?

You realized that you're everything and on your own for ever, great (I guess), then what, besides pain ?

PS: I have never done drugs/psychedelics besides once some weed and a usual Western consumption of alcohol.

So many people would be better off if we didn't have any form of documentation of religious history or any form of spiritual history and if we didn't have social media. There's so much crap out there that you would have a better chance of winning a marathon missing both your legs with your hands tied behind your back wearing a blindfold with a parachute sewn onto your back that's open during a tornado in Kansas then you do of reaching proper understanding and awakened state in this day and age. My best advice to you is what I did go blackout no social media no news no TV no religion know nothing except your own thoughts in mind I did it for 5 years and when I came back well let's just say I couldn't come back because this world's not the same one I left. I don't regret it but it is weird living in this day and age after missing so many years of programming it makes you an outcast.