Self-awareness involves self-observation and honest self-evaluation.

[CreamCat]

I didn't really know what self-awareness means. Yesterday, I realized that I wasn't really good at self-awareness.

Yesterday was the day when I realized that to be self-aware is to observe myself and be aware of what I actually am right now and accept my current self through honest self evaluation instead of denying what I am because I couldn't accept my current self. For years, I deceived myself by convincing myself that I just made a little mistake and I will automatically do much better tomorrow because I am working on personal development. Thus, I trusted myself a little too much and allowed myself to be lazy because I was going to be better in the future anyway.

Self-deception substituted for self-awareness. A common self-deception is to convince yourself that you are improving fast on a daily basis when the truth is that improvements can happen over months and you cannot improve as long as you convince yourself that you improve a lot faster than you actually do. You run out of patience and relapse and have to start over from scratch again instead of improving.

I felt my self awareness was increasing while I was just deceiving and deluding myself even more.

If I was honest with myself and was more aware of myself, I would not trust myself to not waste hours on distractions once I allow myself to be distracted for a few minutes.

If I was really honest, I would not trust myself with distractions until I really stop feeling attracted to distractions.

Self-awareness involves accepting the fact that you cannot be trusted with distractions. Pursue self-acceptance instead of self-denial and self-delusion.

If you accept your lazy self instead of denying it, then you can work around laziness until you finally cure yourself of addictions. If you deny your lazy self, you will think it's ok to be distracted for a few minutes and end up wasting hours on distractions at a time.

Self-acceptance increases self-awareness. Self-denial and self-delusion decrease it.

Edited October 5, 2019 by CreamCat