Clearing Out

[mandyjw]

@SilentTears  That's so FUNNY, I was just reading this and thought "huh, that sounds weird because I didn't put quotes around the whole thing."

[DrewNows]

23 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I have a nearly 5 month old Vizsla, picked a calm one out of the liter because I know how hyper they are. Still pretty hyper, but SO sweet. He's shaping up to be an amazing dog, super intelligent, super in tune with things and always up for adventure. He's amazing with my son, and they have the same color hair, it's adorable. 

hahaha awesome! Puppies are a lot of fun. Im sure you son assists in dealing with he's energy. I have an aussie shepherd mix staying this weekend named "drew" and she's (yes female) is very sweet, it's like she represents my divine feminine (as silly as that sounds). Lately i have felt the need to embody more of the masculine so it makes sense to me  

Yesterday I took her for a walk, we ran into a lady who asked her name and i said drew, she said no i mean your dog, and i explained the situation (she found it funny) 

Excellent video on your Abraham Hicks experience (loa) btw, really got me reflecting on my own experience watching the videos and how i first perceived them (very similar actually with some resistance). 

[Zigzag Idiot]

@mandyjw I appreciate the spirit of integration with different Teachings which you suggest in your last podcast. One of my former Fourth Way teachers could be described as a lineage holder in a certain line of the Gurdjieff Work. I was really into Castenada at the time as well as Ken Wilber and Eckart Tolle. He would not engage in talking me through the commonalities from these different Teachings and it really turned me off from wanting to continue with him. Lineage holders by nature are often very conservative about what might be considered systems thinking. 

I was unable to just drop my 1/2 understandings of these other teachings to only concentrate on what he was offering. I know there are some good arguments for my former teacher to have had this stance but the point you made about resolving the disparities between these Teachings which are pointing at the same truth, could be a big boost for a definite percentage of seekers.

I may offer possible bridges or common denominators between Abraham Hicks and The  Girdjieff Work at some point using the language of Law of Vibrations. Perhaps it's already been done and I'm just not aware of it. To give a peak at this possibility, I googled Gurdjieff law of Vibrations and picked a random result to paste here. --

 

The law of Seven is a law of vibrations. Just as in modern physics, this ancient idea considers the world to consist of vibrations, and this is a general law to help understand this, for practice use.

To increase the rate of vibrations of a material, we need to apply energy to it. E.g, to raise the temperature, you need to apply heat to a substance. In popular physics not much attention is given to the fact that the increase in the rate of vibrations is not always directy related to the rate of application of energy, i.e. applying energy at a constant rate does not always give a constant increase in the rate of vibrations. A very simple example is in heating water from ice to steam - there are two points, the point when the ice is at 0 degrees C, but not yet melted, and the point when the water is at 100 degrees C, but not yet steam. At these two points, one has to keep applying heat for a longer period of time for the temperature to rise...  taken from- http://fourthwayschool.org/7law.html

???‍?

[mandyjw]

@DrewNows That's some great synchronicity.  I've noticed more and more how the same content changes when read again. It's completely based on us and our perception. I feel like we're a good mirroring match because our blind spots don't line up well but we also really appreciate each other. Slowly quietly embracing some of your food and disease outlooks. 

@Zigzag Idiot Wow, that's quite an analogy when you compare it to awakening and liberation huh? Frozen, fluid, gas.   There is a sudden profound change, yet also no change and the heating process is the same. 

I've never followed a spiritual teacher that implied that it was their way or the highway although I saw someone who came up with a home organization system that said "you can't serve two masters". I remembered it because I was already just using her system to build off another one, with good success. Jesus said this "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other." It's a nondual pointer! The One, not the one. I never thought of it that way. Of course it's misunderstood. 

 

This video by Rupert Spira is really, really amazing. Almost as if it were made just for me.

 

 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2020 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

Today is the first day in a bit that I've gotten out of fear mode in a little while. My new running shoes came in the mail today. It was a really weird experience because I was meditating and had this vision of a very specific running shoe, on my foot. I could even guess what brand it was. I needed new running shoes because I suspect the last brand of giving me back pain, and actually found the shoe I "saw", in that brand, in the exact color combo I had seen and I bought them. So I went for a run and went to the cemetery on intuition even though I wasn't planning to. I enjoyed the sun and the clouds were moving, making it seem like the trees were moving instead again. Sat beside Dr.P's grave because that's the only place the sun was and stared at the shoe on my foot and contemplated how time works. The pyramid theme he designed his grave in and connecting that with the "discomfort" of sitting upright and that arises in other situations, a rushed feeling, feeling of restlessness which @Nahm really helped me reframe this week, really stuck out to me. 

When I came home I looked up an odd Ecclesiastes quote I saw on the headstone of someone with the same last name as me, which my dad had noted a verse from James besides, so I read some in James and found some interesting parallels. Then I picked up my Abraham Hicks cards, and read some in my Green Witch book. 

Then I asked @remember what her avatar meant and we had a conversation and SO many things came together all at once. 

There's a global pandemic and things are working out for me. What is this Abraham Hicksesque devilry? 

eye of prov·i·dence

the protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power. 

I eye aye 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2020 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

Oh, it gets funnier. Was staring at the running shoe box. I haven't had this brand of shoe since I was a kid. 

 The word Saucony comes from the Lenni Lenape Native American word “saconk,” meaning “where two rivers run together. Inspired by the original location on the Saucony Creek, our logo represents a running river marked by three boulders.

Let it take me
Back to the river

[mandyjw]

Scared AF again today. I'm such a nerd, reading, reading, reading. I KNOW there's something weird going on here, I know it's too weird to be true. I was so in alignment with it last night. The median age of where I live is far higher than Italy. The people who run everything in my community are in their 60s, 70's. Yeah, I discovered the law of attraction, yeah I had an awakening. Yes I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, and am reminded over and over of this new nonreality but still running on some old patterns. 

Other things about the forum are starting to really bother me. Like vibration attracts like vibration. I see now more clearly than ever how my thoughts are always in line with my vibration. 

I could use my nerdiness for good. 25,000 die of hunger everyday, doesn't that put this fear in perspective? Now I feel like an elitist privileged jerk for being scared for my community. Feeling like a jerk feels better than fear, so we'll go from there. 

I know that's not right either. I can keep changing the perspective as I direct my attention until there's none that fits. 

"Everyone is responsible for the thoughts they think and the things they choose as their objects of attention." -Abraham Hicks

 

Edited March 15, 2020 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

The schools are too late to close in my opinion and I had to pull my daughter out of daycare... permanently. I asked if the provider would make an exception since she probably will need to take in more kids with closed schools but she had said I had to pay in full or lose her spot. She starts school for a half day in fall. I checked my accounts today and I just can't afford it anymore. My life is going to change a lot. I put her in daycare last year and it was a huge step forward for me because I felt so helpless at home. I know she's mirroring me but she's emotional and volatile as heck. I guess it's time to face it. 

There's a tendency I have to identify as someone who "knows better"... the spiritual ego. The truth is, I still experience the entire spectrum of thoughts, anxiety galore and even suicidal thoughts. I noticed today that I can go from a suicidal thought to peaceful and positive in almost, well, no time. Thoughts are a phenomenon I can neither own nor disown. 

What I've learned this year about watching my vibration and paying attention to how I feel has become like a do or die thing in the recent week. Reminds me of being REALLY in labor and thinking that my decision to have a baby wasn't a good idea. The ridiculousness of rebelling against what is in that moment is absurd, like it is now. BUT the conditions must be right. 

Surrender, surrender, surrender.

Turning the computer off now. Much love to everyone. 

[mandyjw]

Wow, that turned around quick. What a day. "Care about how you feel" has a deeper meaning every day. 

 

 

[mandyjw]

This morning during meditation the memory came up of asking the chiropractor I saw if he meditated. He said no but that he has a lot of books about meditation. Neither of us realized how funny that was at the time, and it sort of struck me then. Then I realized that I was supposed to be meditating and instead was thinking about this and then I really laughed.

Then my husband finished the rest of the orange juice, which is for the kids who have colds and this brought up an awful feeling of anger or some complex mix of that type. As I went into the feeling, the thought arose "it's nothing" and I saw my mind repressing the feeling by drawing the conclusion of self inquiry that it had accepted, cutting myself off from investigating the feeling itself. 

[mandyjw]

https://membean.com/wrotds/path-feeling

"The Greek root word path can mean either “feeling” or “disease.” This word root is the word origin of a number of English vocabulary words, including sympathy, apathy, pathological, and sociopath. An easy way to remember these different meanings is that a sympathetic person “feels” pain with another, whereas a psychopath does twisted things because he has a “diseased” mind."

[Nahm]

“My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb, and all I remember is thinking, ‘I want to be like them’. Ever since I was little - ever since I was little, it looked like fun...and it's no coincidence I've come - and I can die when I'm done!”

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy

Probably

 

[mandyjw]

@Nahm Woooooow. That song always annoyed me. Who would have thought? 

Who do you think you are?
Ha ha ha, bless your soul
You really think you're in control?
Well

I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me

[Nahm]

@mandyjw

It is pretty Gnarly.

I re-member when, I re-member, I re-member— when I lost “my” mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even ”your” emotions have an echo
In so much ”space”

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

 

Favorite version.    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sXLhh6p5hjo

 

God bless Corey Heuvel. Such a beautiful soul. 

[mandyjw]

@Nahm Awesome, I can see why.  

[mandyjw]

Day one of "homeschooling", or try-to-get-your-kid-to-do-stuff-they-don't-want-to-do. Pray for me. 

Funny, he's most resistant to do his journal activity. The object is to write about anything you want, but he's not feeling the freedom of possibility but feels paralyzed because he doesn't have his actual journal and can't continue the subject he had going. 

[mandyjw]

My friend and I talked a really long time on the phone yesterday and had some funny synchronicity today. Yesterday I was shocked that she didn't know much about the coronavirus situation and I told her that she might need to rethink her upcoming visit. We talked about how we both ignored it until someone we followed posted seriously about it. For me that was Tim Ferris, for her, Stefan Molenaux (God works in mysterious ways, that all I can say about that). She was a big fan of him, I think less so now.  I read a story about Maya Angelou to her because my son was supposed to select a sentence from the story that was an opinion and any one I could find seemed incredibly insensitive. She started saying OPINION, OPINION, OPINION, as I read it but to me none of it was opinion. Then today she sent me Stefan Moleneux's latest post...

"For emotional people

Their feelings are facts

your facts are just opinions"

With the comment, "what are the chances?"

Then I moved the screen because I was dialing numbers with my face and accidentally almost bought The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent by Abraham Hicks. 

 

[mandyjw]

 

[mandyjw]

Today I've been in a witchy mood. Reeeeallly disagree with decisions being made around me, that seriously sacrifice and jeopardize children's education yet leave businesses able to carry on as normal and I feel like I have no power. Also can't get out of my head how this virus attacks older men and spares children and is easier on women. Maybe if we stopped exploiting nature, viruses like this wouldn't cross from animals to people. 

I went for a run in the dark mist really early and the crows didn't scare away like they normally did, they stayed really close to me. I've seen so many crows today. I ran by some houses with lights on and the look of the warm glow in contrast to the day outside gave me an inexplicable feeling. I went to Dr.P's. When I came back a black cat moseyed around the yard and settled behind my forsythia bush. A couple weeks ago I took some branches from it and forced them, and they are in bloom in a vase on my kitchen windowsill. 

Very interested right now in Marie Kondo, self care and witchy home purification sort of stuff. 

I had a really rough day. I managed to work a bit with both kids and the puppy in my studio with me. I've had a good week considering all the changes and responsibility completely thrown at me. I did a yoga video for back pain and have been feeling better since. Had an emotional release towards the end and now that's twice that's happened and I'm very curious about it. Right now I feel very curious about a lot of questions I have. Lots of desires coming up. 

Edited March 21, 2020 by mandyjw

[Raptorsin7]

@mandyjw Do you have a reliable way to make yourself cry?

I'm really looking for ways to make myself very but I'm stuck atm.