How do I break this cycle?

[Sleyker]

I have a tendency to save the best for last, and this happens to me with the self-actualization work. 

Like for example I watch Leo's old videos (that I don't really find interesting) because I want to save the really good ones for later and the most profound ones for when I am more intelectually advanced or something. 

Many of the things I do I treat them this way, If I discover a great source of information, I have to go and watch/read it all from the beginning. I can't just jump right into the topics I find compelling.

I know this is super silly and I'm embarrassed to post this but I'm curious if this happens to any of you guys. Thanks in advance.

Edited October 5, 2019 by Sleyker
Correcting a few words

[Sahil Pandit]

How about you take a break from "trying"? 

Let things arise authentically and organically instead of forcing growth. 

Maybe this means letting go of control for a bit, reflecting on things, maybe going for a walk, and then coming back to your situation with a little more mindfulness, then working on it? 

[Sleyker]

"Forcing growth" You hit the nail on the head man. Thank you!!

[Dimi]

4 hours ago, Sahil Pandit said:

letting go of control

This