Have you gone after girls with boyfriends?

[electroBeam]

Just doing my research and there is some evidence and:

- most girls who are 6/10 or above are already taken because they are attractive

- some PUAs have the mindset that women who have bfs stay with them for the wrong reasons and that you should go after them.

 

Did you find these 2 reasons to be correct? Did you find most suitable girls have boyfriends and you had to chase after girls who had boyfriends to get a suitable girl?

[Leo Gura]

I've done it before. Not worth it. Mostly a waste of time and brings bad karma.

Most girls will not cheat on their bf/husband. Some will, but is that really the kind of girl you want?

There are plenty of single girls around. Focus on win-win arrangements.

[daniel695]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Not worth it. Mostly a waste of time and brings bad karma.

Most girls will not cheat on their bf/husband. Some will, but is that really the kind of girl you want?

There are plenty of single girls around. Focus on win-win arrangements.

i really like this, go for a win win situation. do onto others as you want do onto you. if you try to get girls with boyfriend it says a lot about you and low quality of integrity you are basically cheating on your future self when you have a girlfriend/boyfriend.

[Michael569]

 

10 hours ago, electroBeam said:

- most girls who are 6/10 or above are already taken because they are attractive

- some PUAs have the mindset that women who have bfs stay with them for the wrong reasons and that you should go after them.

no and no. Stop being so superficial and get to know the girl. A subjective ranking of girl's beauty will skyrocket once you get to know and like her personality. I don't know how it is possible but I've seen that happen many times in my life. Girls who were moderately attractive became beautiful once I got to know their amazing personalities. 

PUA is a pitiful low-consciousness game. These boys are clowns who pretend they are masculine men. NEVER listen to any advice from one. A truly masculine man does not need to play games and manipulate. He is confident and highly driven by his purpose. Trying to steal another man's partner is disgusting, selfish and will bite you in the ass. if the girl is willing with a wrong guy, she needs to realize it. Not only are you risking in her doing the same to you but you will create an enemy. 

[Leo Gura]

You should get in the habit of asking any girl you're flirting with, "By the way, are you single?"

One of my fave questions to ask early on. If she says no, move on to another girl. This will save you a lot of wasted effort.

[MsNobody]

@electroBeam IMO your evidence is wrong, or  you might be looking in the wrong place, it’s like looking for a better job but complaining that the better ones are already taken, if you are qualified you can get any job you want, if you are not you will struggle for sure. I’m attractive and I’m single, and I have hot friends who are also single. Have in mind that what you are looking is looking for you, IF you are ready to receive.

You can also read some books about how a woman’s mind works, we are not interested in looks, we are attracted to men who are stable, hitting women who are dating or married can be seen as an incapacity for commitment (why would you date someone taken and not a single one? Maybe because the taken it’s just fun and games and no responsibilities, that’s how I see it), plus it’s gonna bring bad karma and problems to your life. That being said, what are your intentions? Do you want a girlfriend or you just want to play around? Do you want a stage orange relationship or a green one? 

Loving all the conscious answers ??

[Dlavjr]

I can tell you first hand that even if you manage to steal a girl away from her boyfriend, it's going to bite you in the ass. I was having sex with a girl behind her boyfriend's back (she initiated a good amount of it, I still went along with it though so I'm at fault as well and I definitely was after her) and throughout the whole relationship there were trust issues, she was flirting with other guys, and eventually she left me for somebody else once things reached a breaking point for us. She was the kind of girl that would rather jump ship than get together and work it out. Generally speaking, if you pursue a girl that's willing to cheat/leave someone for you, then you can get a good idea of her values and mentality towards loyalty in a relationship. Would not recommend. Plus, it's also respect for other people. If her relationship is already poor, let them break up on their own. In my opinion, most regular people need healing time between relationships to grow and reconnect with themselves, otherwise you're going to reach a point where you forget who you really are. 

[AlwaysBeNice]

Just depends on how it's done, ideas of 'mine' are ultimately illusion, especially another person, and all are the god being.. so..

[Spiral]

Nope. I wouldn't want to date a girl who would break up with me because something "better" became available. I naturally wouldn't want a girl who cheat either. 

Also bothersome boyfriends are not really worth sex. Not to mention the bad karma.

Edited October 9, 2019 by Spiral

[Fede83]

On 5/10/2019 at 4:40 PM, MsNobody said:

@electroBeam IMO your evidence is wrong, or  you might be looking in the wrong place, it’s like looking for a better job but complaining that the better ones are already taken, if you are qualified you can get any job you want, if you are not you will struggle for sure. I’m attractive and I’m single, and I have hot friends who are also single. Have in mind that what you are looking is looking for you, IF you are ready to receive.

You can also read some books about how a woman’s mind works, we are not interested in looks, we are attracted to men who are stable, hitting women who are dating or married can be seen as an incapacity for commitment (why would you date someone taken and not a single one? Maybe because the taken it’s just fun and games and no responsibilities, that’s how I see it), plus it’s gonna bring bad karma and problems to your life. That being said, what are your intentions? Do you want a girlfriend or you just want to play around? Do you want a stage orange relationship or a green one? 

Loving all the conscious answers ??

May I know some book about woman psychicological mindset when they meet a guy and what attract them for the most ? Thank u ❤️

[MsNobody]

@Fede83 there is a really good documentary called The female Brain on Hulu. Also books The way of the superior man, Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, The 5 love languages.. Leo’s book list has some good ones  

But essentially to be able to connect with women is very important that you embrace your feminine side too. For me one of the best traits of a man is his feminine side, is he able to allow himself to be emotional, to be vulnerable, to have feelings? Men who are trying to prove their masculinity just shows me that they are insecure, so would say it’s a balance of both masculine and feminine, but a real man allows himself to be whole. 

[Identity]

I agree that usually its probably not the best move to go after girls with boyfriends.

However, there are girls that are just hardly ever single. They only leave a relationship when they can move into another one.

Could be worth it to wait on a girl that is clearly not satisfied in her relationship.

[outlandish]

I think there are exceptions. Dating isn't the same level of commitment as marriage, and there are situations where a relationship needs to be broken off, new love be the catalyst for this to happen. 

About 20 years ago I met the woman who I knew was the love of my life, but we were both non-single, and I knew the time wasn't right anyways. 5 years later life brought us back into one another's world. Again, we were both dating other people, but both in unsatisfactory relationships. We had an attraction that was so strong and right that we ended up leaving our partners and coming together. Now we are celebrating 10 years of marriage and beautiful children together. It happens. I feel bad about the hearts we hurt, but we are all friends still, so I think we made the best out of a difficult situation.

[Leo Gura]

12 hours ago, outlandish said:

I think there are exceptions. Dating isn't the same level of commitment as marriage, and there are situations where a relationship needs to be broken off, new love be the catalyst for this to happen. 

About 20 years ago I met the woman who I knew was the love of my life, but we were both non-single, and I knew the time wasn't right anyways. 5 years later life brought us back into one another's world. Again, we were both dating other people, but both in unsatisfactory relationships. We had an attraction that was so strong and right that we ended up leaving our partners and coming together. Now we are celebrating 10 years of marriage and beautiful children together. It happens. I feel bad about the hearts we hurt, but we are all friends still, so I think we made the best out of a difficult situation.

That's an interesting case.

[LaucherJunge]

I personally backed away from such an opportunity, although for me it was for circumstantial reasons, she already had a baby with her husband and I got along pretty well with her husband as well. I was alone with her one night and we had some very intimate moments and crazy sexual tension in the air, like uncountable times just a brink away from kissing, but we always turned away and we definitely would have had sex that night too to be honest but someone rang the bell just before it was starting to get going and honestly I am glad that it went this way. I totally love her as a friend, actually she is my best friend and I think her husband is very good for her, she even got pregnant again recently. For me there were just lessons to  be learned from all this, that's what attraction is always about, you can learn these lessons without actually getting into a relationship with someone or having an affair.
What crystallized for me is that no matter how big the attraction is, in the end you'll feel better about it when you just leave it be in most cases, but as always there are exceptions for sure!

[ajasatya]

On 04/10/2019 at 7:47 PM, electroBeam said:

Have you gone after girls with boyfriends?

No. Not even on my lowest stage.

[Raptorsin7]

@LaucherJunge That sounds like a toxic situation. Why are you still best friends with a girl you almost had sex with, when she has multiple children, and you are friends with her husband too.

[Preety_India]

I think the simple answer is a flat no. 

Girls {as far as I know about myself and others} would not risk cheating on their boyfriends even if they got the best sex from another guy. It's female brain and thank god for that. 

It could be temporary especially if she had a string of fights with her boyfriend. But sooner or later she usually winds up back with him. If the boyfriend is persuasive then no chance at all. No way is that guy losing his possession to someone else! 

Be careful with such situations, you could run a risk on your life creating love triangles. 

You might be right that those are suitable girls just like guys who are in established relationships and fully settled are suitable guys and some women find a married man or a settled man more attractive for the same reason. But look at the outcome. A husband most likely doesn't want to cheat on his spouse and therefore the other woman has to most likely walk away. Same goes for a man chasing a woman who is already taken. 

Things can get unusually and unnecessarily complicated for you and the other couple and can be a easy recipe for a total train wreck. 

Usually men do not want to date a woman in that place because they can't have a sense of ownership with that woman. Yet there can be this temptation to take away or steal another man's girl and the thrill in it can be exciting. But beware of the other guy. If in the same place and the guy finds out this can lead to a physical altercation. 

So it can kind of bring bad karma! 

Like they warn women to not get engaged with married men and women usually suffer later after that, and people blame it on bad karma attracting from disrupting another woman's home. 

You kinda get cursed for destroying another person's peace. 

Of course men and women in relationships appear more attractive because of the security factor but you are always taking a huge risk although there is nothing wrong in trying and sometimes you end up saving someone from a bad relationship they are stuck with. But that's rare. 

Sometimes you gotta think in other ways. People who are in a relationship but not happy may be that way because of their own flaws. It's not always the other person's fault. For example the reason a woman  is not happy in her relationship with her boyfriend might have more to do with her own flaws and whiny attitude or behavior rather than the boyfriend. Would you want to be with someone who is already difficult to put up with and someone else is going through a hard time with them. 

All in all, it's not always necessary that being in a relationship is a stamp of approval or validation of suitability. Many people are toxic and still have relationships. 

It's society that creates fixed perceptions. But perceptions are the root cause of problems. 

Being on a spiritual path means the first thing you want to do is get rid of perceptions and illusions because they can be so deceptive. They create a world of delusion, a world of premature judgement and preconceived notions. Use discretion, discernment and proper judgement rather than feeding into a stereotype or a mindset fed into you by an organization, cult, group or social thinking. Being free from that is real liberation. Don't give into brainwashing. 

Look for a healthy single partner who is not holding back and wanting to be with you as much as you want to be with them. That way you stay free from both drama and karma.