How to not leave other people behind

[Bratcat]

Hello everyone!

I'll try to make it as short as possible.
I've been in a relationship for about 6 months now (longest one I've ever had :D) and I have had doubts about them holding me back or not being entirely compatible from the very beginning. Same with all my previous attempts at relationships and also friends and family.
I tend to see myself as more reflective than most of my acquaintances. Although this could be completely false, let's just pretend for a second that it isn't.
While thinking that I am further along on the path that I expect to be roughly the right direction, I do still believe that I can learn a lot from others, especially in their own respective small areas that I haven't got a lot of experience in. For example, my boyfriend is a very empathetic and emotionally intelligent person, while I had to learn most of my compassion through conscious thought.

However, I tend to get bored and frustrated very easily. I am frustrated when people don't immediately process the theories I offer to them, when they put them aside, view them as not that important, and just generally are in a different spot in life. Which everyone is!
I discard people and when I don't I fear it's just because I am exploiting them for the emotional security that they give me.

I do not know where I am right now, therefore it is hard for me to know where I want to go. I was mostly stage green for the last 2-3 years, but always with some kind of distance, never fully immersed in some kind of activism, and even when I was vegan I still made exceptions. I definitely haven't shed orange, but I am worried that right now, instead of transitioning more into yellow, I am falling back into orange and justifying it by mistaking it for yellow.
For me, this is harder to see clearly when surrounding yourself with other people (I believe my boyfriend to be mostly orange), but it is not fair to make other people responsible for your own lack of progress.

There's not really a question here, just share what your thoughts are on my situation and if you are eperiencing or have experienced similar stuff
 

[Bratcat]

Hellooo, I think your replies are invisible
nah seriously, I'd be really happy if someone would be willing to contribute some of their thoughts to help me see things clearer.

[MuddyBoots]

On 04/10/2019 at 4:49 PM, Bratcat said:

However, I tend to get bored and frustrated very easily. I am frustrated when people don't immediately process the theories I offer to them, .....  

I discard people and when I don't I fear it's just because I am exploiting them for the emotional security that they give me.

What comes across to me is that intellectual compatibility is a big priority for you. There's nothing wrong in that as such, but maybe as part of your development you could focus on the other aspects to balance it out, like emotional and intuitive?  Boredom is a common problem, it's the restless monkey mind,  does your spiritual practice help with this, eg meditation or mindfulness? Also, do you have a life purpose to focus your energies, from what you say above you have this slightly abstract ambition of progressing through the colours of Spiral Dynamics, but why? What's the meaning or passion in your life?